Page 31 of The Killing Plains

“This still has the tags on it. Are you sure?”

Brenda grinned. “Absolutely. Iris hasn’t seen it, so she won’t say anything catty about you borrowing.”

Colly squinted critically at herself. Her face and forearms were ruddy from the afternoon spent outdoors, and the spray of freckles across her nose had darkened noticeably.

“I always feel like such a peasant around Iris. I’ve got a farmer’s tan, for God’s sake. And look at this.” She pulled a bit of dried grass from her unruly mane before retying it in a loose ponytail.

“You look fantastic.” Brenda began to readjust the closet hangers, carefully turning them to face the same direction. She saw Colly watching and blushed. “I’m a little bit of a neat freak. It used to drive Lowell crazy.”

“Goodness, how many running shoes do you have?” Colly nodded at the long, orderly racks of footwear on the closet floor.

“It’s hard getting rid of the old ones. After so many miles together, they’re like friends.” Brenda sighed. “They should reallygo in the donation box. If you need anything for Satchel, the thrift shop on South Fourth and Chestnut’s great. I’m one of their sponsors. Half the kids’ play clothes come from there, these days.”

“Was Lowell that stingy with the settlement?”

“I put it in a trust for the kids. I wanted to make it on my own. Things are tight, but supporting myself is unbelievably satisfying. I’ll make more money once I finish my supervision hours.” Brenda shut the closet door. “We should get going. Let’s take my van—it’s already covered in ranch dirt. Ready to face the music?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

The sun was lowering over the scrublands by the time Brenda turned north on the Old Ranch Way.

“I like it out here,” she said. “I run this way a lot.”

“This is my fourth time on this road today.” Colly settled back in her seat. “It was great to see your clinic. Niall seems nice.”

“Niall’s fantastic, plus crazy handsome. You can see why I was tempted.”

Colly looked quickly at her sister-in-law. “Oh, he’s the one—?”

Brenda reddened. “I thought you knew. It only lasted a few months. We’re just colleagues, now. And friends.”

“I didn’t mean to pry.”

“You didn’t. Feels weird to talk about it, though. You have to be so careful in this town.” She fell silent, but as Colly searched for a new topic, Brenda surprised her by saying suddenly, “I made a mess of things, Col. All the people I hurt—I never meant to. One night, as we were getting ready for bed, Lowell was griping about something or other. And the thought hit me:This is as good as life with him is ever going to get.” She glanced at Colly. “You’ve probably never felt that way. You and Randy always seemed so happy.”

“We were, for the most part. But there were baddish moments.”

“A career must’ve helped. At least you had something of your own—I used to envy that.”

“You always said you loved being a stay-at-home mom.”

“I love being a mom. The stay-at-home part was an excuse, I think.”

“For what?”

“Playing it safe. It took me a while to realize how small my life had gotten. I thought going back to school would help, but then Lowell started drinking more, and gambling. He got controlling about money, and he didn’t like that I suddenly had ideas of my own and dinner wasn’t always on the table at six o’clock.” She passed a hay truck, and a flurry of straw bits swirled against the windshield. “Lowell’s meant for the 1950s.”

“Lowell’s a jerk. No offense.”

“Here’s the question that haunts me—did he become a jerk over time, or was he always one, and I just didn’t see it?” Brenda held up her hand. “Don’t answer that. Either way’s depressing.”

Colly laughed. “I only meant I can understand why you’d be drawn to someone else after a while.”

Brenda’s knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. “I knew who Niall was in high school, but I didn’t reallyknowhim then. I was fresh out of grad school when I started working for him. He was everything Lowell wasn’t, and everything I wanted to be—educated and well-travelled and interesting. You know he was a Rhodes Scholar? Did his postgrad work at Oxford. He writes books on adolescent brain structure. Being around him was like looking through a window into this amazing world, and I wanted it so badly.” She smiled wistfully. “I was head over heels, for a while. I loved everything about him—even the little quirks, like talking in his sleep and messing up every dish in the kitchen when he cooks.”

Listening, Colly wondered what had triggered this sudden vulnerability. She had learned more about Brenda’s thoughts and feelings in the last five minutes than she’d known in twenty years.

Outside, Digby’s Automotive flashed by and, seconds later, the fireworks stand. Earla Cobb was gone, but the grass around the stand had been cut short, and a half-dozen marker flags now dotted the scene.

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