Page 95 of I Am Salvation

Chapter Twenty-Six

Diana

Silence hangs in the room.

Did I just make a terrible mistake?

Is it ever a mistake to tell someone you love them?

People are supposed to love that. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, I want him to know that I love him. That he’s worth loving.

Finally he opens his mouth. “I’m not sure what to say.”

“Like I said, you don’t have to say it back.”

But my heart breaks a little as I say the words. I want him to love me back. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.

I know he’s attracted to me. I know he likes to fuck me.

Do his feelings go any further than that? Is he even capable of such feelings?

Another moment passes.

I open my mouth to say again that he needs to at least acknowledge my statement, but then?—

“I am sin,” he says, his voice low, troubled.

I roll my eyes. “Stop giving me that bullshit. What happened to your sister is not your fault. What your parents did to you was not your fault. You’ve had some shit in your life, Dragon. Haven’t we all?”

I regret those words as soon as I say them.

Because my life has been pretty much wine and roses.

I can’t say the same for my father or my two brothers. And of course, there was that alcohol poisoning thing when I was a freshman in high school, but I survived.

To my surprise, he doesn’t call me on it.

“Diana, so many things are going through my mind right now.”

“I know.” I lean forward and lay a hand on his upper arm. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have laid this on you.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not what I mean. I have a chance at possibly finding my sister. And I have a niece that I don’t even know. None of that can erase what happened to Griffin. The life she’s been forced to lead. But damn…”

“I’m so sorry,” I say.

“I don’t want you to be sorry, Diana. I want you to be—” He clenches his hands into fists. “Damn it! I just want… I want things I have no business wanting.”

I’m not sure what to say to that. Is he talking about finding his sister? Wanting the love of his mother? Or is he talking about…me?

Probably a bit of all of them.

“It’s not a sin to want something, Dragon.”

“It is when you’re not worthy.” He looks away. “It is when?—”

“Shut the fuck up,” I say, my tone forceful. “I’m tired of hearing you say that. You are as worthy as anyone else.”

“I’m not worthy of you.”

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