Page 46 of I Am Salvation

I huff. I’m so sick of this tired old song and dance. “Fine. Have it your way. That’s who you are and who you will always be. Be that way. But I want you to know that I think you’re more than that, Dragon. Do you think I would’ve fallen into bed with you if I thought otherwise?”

“I think you wanted to take a walk on the bad side. I think you wanted to get into sin.” He shrugs. “Maybe you want to be my salvation. There is no salvation for me, Diana. There isn’t, and there never will be.”

I’m not sure how to respond. I could say what I always say, but the words don’t seem to be sinking in. My actions aren’t helping either. Dragon is convinced he’s evil. He’s silent a moment. Until?—

“She offered me a shot of whiskey,” he says.

Fuck. He didn’t fall off the wagon, did he?

I don’t smell any whiskey on him, but then again, maybe he’s not close enough to me.

“I see how you’re looking at me,” he says. “I see the questioning look in your eyes. You think I took a shot.”

“Did I say that?”

“You inhaled.” He looks away from me. “Trying to smell alcohol. You don’t have to say it for me to know.”

“You’re just convinced, aren’t you, that no one could actually care for you?” I let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s getting really old, Dragon. Take me to Target, and let me get the stuff to take care of this dog. If you don’t want to take care of him, I will. Because that’s what I do.”

“Oh, I get it now.” He rolls his eyes. “This dog is a metaphor for me. You feel like you have to take care of me because I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

I drop my jaw.

Wow.

This is what he truly thinks of me.

I say nothing. What else is there to say?

“I see you’re not denying it.”

I close my eyes and rub my temples. “I can’t keep repeating myself, Dragon. I can’t keep trying to convince you that you’re more than what you think you are. You’re going to have to convince yourself from now on.”

He turns back to the windshield, starts the car, and continues to the discount store.

When he gets into a parking spot, I reach for the door handle. “You stay in the car with the dog. I’ll be back in a minute.”

He doesn’t move to follow me, and I’m grateful. I’m angry right now. Angry that he thinks so little of me. But even angrier that he thinks so little of himself.

I walk into the store, grab a cart, and fill it with things like dog food, pet toys, dog shampoo, treats, and a leash and collar.

I love dogs. Always have. I haven’t had one of my own, though, living in the penthouse. But I’ve missed caring for an animal. Teddy may be exactly what I need.

I pay for my purchases, including two reusable shopping bags, and then bring the bags back to the car.

I have to knock on the window so Dragon will unlock the doors with my key fob which is still in the car. I shove the bags in the backseat with Teddy.

“Let’s go,” I say.

We get back to the hotel, and I grab the leash and collar out of the bag. Teddy squirms, but he doesn’t give me a lot of trouble.

He’s simply too weak.

I give the leash to Dragon. “Take him up to your room. I have to stop at the counter and pay the dog deposit.”

“You take him up,” Dragon says. “I’ll take care of that. It was my idea to take the dog.”

I take Teddy’s leash and one of the grocery bags. I hand the other one to Dragon. “Have it your way. Bring this up as well.”

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