Page 36 of I Am Salvation

“So…you haven’t known where they are?”

He takes a deep breath in, closes his eyes, and runs his hands through his dark hair, which he’s wearing down tonight. “I haven’t seen my parents in years.”

“Oh?”

“Come on,” he says. “You knew I had some kind of backstory.”

I shake my head. “No one knows anything about you. All we know is that you’re a gifted drummer in the band.”

“And that I’m an addict.”

I bite my lip. “Honestly, I didn’t even know that until recently.”

“Right. Because I still smoked pot and drank beer.”

“Not that. I just didn’t…” I’m not sure how to finish my sentence.

Do I say I’ve never given him a thought before now? Because that’s not exactly true. I’ve always been kind of fascinated by him. He’s so quiet, keeps to himself. He’s a hell of a drummer, and the band thinks the world of him. Even after all the shit he put them through in Europe.

So it’s not that I’ve never been interested in learning about him. It’s more that he’s always been so distant that it always seemed like it would be a fruitless endeavor to even try. He’s so stoic, so detached.

“You just didn’t what?” he asks.

I dip another chip in the salsa, but I don’t bring it to my mouth. “I didn’t know you. I never…thought about knowing you.”

He looks at me. Stares at me. I wish I knew what was going through his mind right now. There’s so much I want to say to him, but I don’t think he’s ready to hear it. I’m not sure I’m ready to say it yet anyway.

“I see,” he finally says.

I hold up my hand. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know you now. When Brianna first asked me to let you live with me, I was a little freaked out.”

“Because you thought I’d be a danger to you?”

“No, not at all. I trust Jesse’s judgment. And I trust Brianna’s. But you and I… I figured we were from different planets or something.”

He doesn’t react. At least not with his face. How does he do that?

“Do you still think that now?”

“Come on, Dragon.” I narrow my eyes at him coyly. “I think you know the answer to that question.”

He doesn’t smile.

“Maybe you don’t,” I say. “We’ve been intimate. I feel like I’ve shown you a part of myself that I’m not sure I’ve shown anyone else.” Warmth rushes to my cheeks. “I found out some things about myself that I didn’t know before I knew you.”

His eyebrows nearly fly off his head. “What? Because we fucked?”

I look down. “Maybe it was a fuck to you, Dragon. But it was a lot more to me.” I puff my chest out and return my gaze to his. “And you know what? I’m not ashamed to say that. Because if this thing at work taught me anything, it’s that you shouldn’t be afraid to tell the truth. I did the right thing in the end. It’s the decision I should’ve made at the outset. Because I’m an architect, because I believe in doing the best job possible for my client. I’m also a human being. A woman with feelings and emotions. And what has happened between us means something to me. It was so much more than just a fuck.”

He doesn’t say anything. Not that I expect him to.

We get a brief respite when Chanel comes with our dinners.

I inhale the robust aroma of tomatoes and spices.

“Can I get the two of you anything else?” Chanel asks.

“I’d like a refill on my water, please,” Dragon says.

---