Page 33 of Texting My Valentine

Alex:I apologize. Please, from the bottom of my heart, with all the sincerity in my soul, deign to inform me about the project which made your time at work tolerable.

Tori:LOL. That’s more like it.

Alex:LOL.See? For you, I’ll even use the acronym. That’s proof that I REALLY want to know.

Tori:There’s an open mic coming up. I was working on a poem. This is going to sound like a cliché but screw it. Sometimes, it’s like I’m not the one writingthe poetry. Sometimes, it feels like it comes from somewhere inside me, and I have to be ready. That’s my very pretentious way of saying I’ve been taking every chance I can get to scrawl my notes between orders.

Alex:It’s not pretentious. It’s interesting.

My heart twitches as I think about her wild hair falling over her face, her teeth clasping her lower lip as the ideas spark through her excited mind.

Alex:What’s the poem about?

Tori:It’s depressing. I don’t want to ruin the mood.

I laugh at the callback.

Alex:I’ve seen more darkness today than you could fathom, Tori. Don’t hold back on my account.

Tori:If you want to know…

Alex:I do. I’m curious about everything about you.

I delete the last line, leaving just ‘I do’. After I click send, I wonder if we’ll ever say those two magical words. Then, I relegate the crazy thought to the back of my mind.

Tori:The performance is from the point of view of a girl after her mom’s latest boyfriend walks out. She’s watched these men lie to her mother over and over, and so she’s venting her frustration while she wrestles with the core concept of whether or not love is real.

I swallow. She’s wondering if love isreal?

Making her mine is going to be an uphill battle.

Again, I warn myself to calm down.

Alex:So this is from the point of view of a character?

Tori:Sure, you could call her that. Obviously, I’ll be the one up there performing, but sometimes, I like to use a framing device: a way to distance myself. Or just create a new perspective.

She added the ‘or,’ but it’s the first one. She wants to distance herself and pretend this isn’t about her. But it is.

Alex:This character doesn’t believe that love is real.

My hands are trembling as I type, the idea making me sick on a level I never had access to before I met Tori.

Tori:She’s wrestling with the idea. She’s not sure if it exists.

Alex:Which way is she leaning?

Tori:She’s leaning toward the ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ mentality.

Alex:In what way?

I’m sending my replies fast, with no thought of seeming too eager holding me back. Once, Julian counted out the words in texts he was sending a woman. He refused to let his word count exceed hers. I can’t play those games.

Tori:If she has functioned this long without love, relationships, or even having crushes, then why should she start now? Plenty of people are able to live productive lives alone. Surely, you can understand that.

She’s got me there, but I don’t want to admit it, not to her, not to the woman I’m starting to care about.

Alex:People can be productive.But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re living their best lives or that they couldn’t be happier.

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