Page 32 of Smooth Sailing

I lost Mom to Dad’s betrayal and her spiral afterward that she never pulled herself out of (and I could say that even if she currently lived what she took pains to show was an idyllic life in Idaho, though she was doing this with an alcoholic asshole who had a side coke habit and a Neanderthal’s take on the role of a woman in society—but he had money, Mom had three Birkin bags, so for her, it was all good).

But in all that, I gained Nicole.

I never tried to figure out if that balanced the scales.

It was just what it was: my life. So I lived it.

And in the end, Nicole always gave me the steady when I was never sure of my footing with a father who expected things from me I wasn’t certain he should expect, but nevertheless, I constantly fell short. Also, when I had a mom who I adored, but who my father broke beyond repair.

Needless to say, Nicole, who I told everything, was not a yay vote on me wading into Suzette’s situation.

And she was not a yay vote on all I’d just told her, including me visiting Dad for the first time in a decade by hijacking his office, me laying the unblemished truth on Janie, and me accepting the assistance of a bunch of bikers I didn’t know from Adam.

“You need to talk to that Detective Scott again,” Nicole advised.

“Suzette doesn’t trust him,” I reminded her.

“I’m sure the police know just how bad a man this guy is. They want him out of commission, and they’ll do everything they can to keep her safe so she can testify.”

“I agree. But she doesn’t trust them.”

“Diana…”

Uh-oh.

She said my name in that brace, I’m about to impart wisdom tone.

I was all in for wisdom, but sometimes getting it wasn’t a lot of fun.

“…I could verbally flay Nolan for hours for the way he mishandled what happened to you at school.”

Yep.

She was about to impart wisdom.

“But that can’t be changed,” she went on. “Not by him. And also, sweetheart, not by you.”

I was in my bedroom. I’d retreated there after the men left so I could call Nicole and get my head straight before I started dinner and tried to coax Suzette into coming out to help, even though Muzzle was still there, and then coax her to staying out when Hugger returned.

The thought of Hugger returning made a little happy wiggle dance in my belly, something I staunchly ignored.

To aid in that endeavor, I moved to the wall of windows that led to the small balcony, rested a shoulder against one, and stared unseeing at the courtyard.

“You’re so like your dad. I wish you both saw that so you could both celebrate it,” she stated.

My head twitched in shock.

“I’m like him?” I asked.

“Scary smart. Check. Headstrong. Double check. Stubborn. Triple check. Mostly the good kind of stubborn, though. Except in this case. But definitely when you get your teeth into something, you don’t let go. You also don’t let anyone walk all over you. You stand up for yourself. He came from nothing and built an enviable life. You gave up everything and did the same.”

As noted, sometimes, wisdom sucked.

Like now.

One thing in this world I didn’t want to be was like my dad.

But she was not wrong in any of that.

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