Page 63 of The Secret Play

“Ian.”

I groaned. “Ian? He’ll shank the story, Gordon. He has no heart, no compassion. It’ll be a hit piece!”

My boss sighed. “Well, I had my favorite journalist on it, but she has a conflict of interest.”

Dammit. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. And everyone else has other assignments. He’s been wanting to cover the Fire for a long time. It was either let Ian do it, or we’d get scooped.”

Which wasn’t an option, either. “Shit.”

“I meant what I said, Gemma. I made sure there’s nothing in there that could link you to this. You’re in the clear. Ian has no idea you’re involved in any way.”

I blew out a deep breath. “Thanks, Gordon. And thanks for the heads-up.”

“You got it. Take care.”

I ended the call and flopped onto the couch. I wanted to believe my boss, but the knot in my chest didn’t ease. The truth always had a way of coming out, no matter how carefully it was buried. And it didn’t matter if my name was in it or not, because this story could hurt Casey.

So, I texted him and asked if he could come over.Can you stop by? I need to talk to you.

He didn’t reply right away, and the minutes stretched into hours. But just as I was about to give up, my phone buzzed.I’ll be there in 30.

When he arrived, he looked as tired as I felt, his blue eyes shadowed and his shoulders tense. “What’s wrong?”

I led him to the couch, sitting down beside him and folding my hands in my lap. “The story’s coming out tomorrow.”

He didn’t react right away. The silence stretched out between us. I needed him to say something, anything. But the silent treatment? I hadn’t thought him capable of something that cruel.

Eventually, though, he muttered, “I figured it’d come out sooner or later.”

“My boss said he kept my name out of it,” I continued, my voice trembling slightly. “But it’s only a matter of time before other people put the pieces together.”

Casey nodded slowly. “I’ll deal with it.”

“You don’t have to?—”

“Yes, I do,” he said firmly, cutting me off. “This is my mess, Gemma. Not yours. I won’t bring you or Winnie into it.”

I stared at him, unable to breathe. We both knew the kind of media circus this could bring down on me and our daughter, and he was sparing us even though he didn’t have to. In fact, spreading the media around would have lessened the burden on him. And he was protecting us anyway.

I whispered, “Thank you.”

He nodded again, his gaze softening slightly. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

When Casey left, the silence in the house was, once again, unbearable. I sank onto the couch, hugging a pillow to my chest, trying not to vomit. I’d told myself I could handle this, that I could keep moving forward without him, but the truth was, I felt untethered. Adrift. Lost in a sea of?—

“Okay, Gemma, rein yourself back in.” I took a deep breath and hoped talking to myself was not a sign of bad mental health. I missed Casey more than I thought it was possible to miss someone. But more than that, I missed the way I felt when I was with him—grounded, like I wasn’t alone anymore.

I needed something to cling to, and I refused to be one of those single moms who depends far too hard on her child to do her emotional labor for her. Winnie didn’t sign up to be my crutch.

The next day, I threw myself into work. The great thing about my job was that I was the one asking all the questions. I could bury myself under a mountain of editing and no one would be the wiser.

Since Gordon had reassigned me to the college beats, I’d already lined up an interview with some of GSU’s star football players. The campus was bustling when I arrived, and for a moment, I let myself get caught up in it.

Part of me missed college. As complicated as some of my assignments were, as difficult as some of the professors were, I missed the days when my biggest worry was whether or not I got a paper in on time. Things were simpler back then, and simplicity sounded very appealing after everything I was dealing with.

I met the boys in a student lounge. My interviewees were Jacob Grainer, Ryan Weiss, Ennis MacIntosh, and Ty Dixon, each more muscular than the last, it seemed. Giant muscly babies, each of them. After spending so much time with Casey and hell, even the Atlanta Fire, these college boys all looked undercooked. Cute, but so very young.

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