Page 73 of The Secret Play

This was so different from every other time, and the absolute love in his eyes made me want to cry. How could I be worthy of it after all I’d done? But he had decided that I was worthy of his love, and I silently vowed to do my best to make him never regret that choice.

Normally, I knew when I was going to come. Not this time. This time, it caught me completely off guard. It was as if, once my body knew we were truly going to be with Casey, that question was answered. I was no longer alone, and I could finally relax. And it led to the biggest orgasm of my life. I lost myself in it, in him. And when the pleasure died down, I was in his arms, his mouth on mine as he came, too.

Maybe it was because, in that moment, he understood he was no longer alone, either.

Chapter 29

Casey

The morning sunlight filtered through the baby blue curtains, bathing Gemma’s bedroom in a pale glow. I lay there for a long time, watching her sleep. Her hair was a mess, falling in loose tangles around her face, and her lips were slightly parted as she breathed in a steady rhythm. She had even drooled in her sleep.

She was beautiful. And she was finally mine.

The weight in my chest had lifted since yesterday. We’d finally said the things that needed saying, peeled back the layers of pain and fear that had been keeping us apart. There was a lot yet to be done, but not much left to be said. Getting things out on the table had been cathartic.

I hadn’t known about her past relationships, that she’d been with guys who lied and used her. It made sense. No wonder she was so torn up about whether or not to tell me about Winnie. She had no reason to think I was any different from the others. She didn’t know me back when we had conceived Winnie.

And I was a different person back then, too. Was I ready to be a dad five years ago? It would have been a change, that was for sure. I would have taken on the role, but I hadn’t been ready for it back then.

Not that it mattered now. Things had worked out the way they were meant to. I had Gemma, and I’d set things right.

Lying next to her, I felt a kind of peace I had never known. It felt as if my long, winding road had led me to this moment in time. All the follies, all the successes, everything had lined up for this. For the first time since we had begun things, I felt like we had a real chance. But there was still so much to figure out.

The team. Her career. Mine. Winnie.

That last thing was why I had had the world’s most awkward night. I’d dozed off after we had made love, and when I woke up hours later, it was because Gemma was bringing my clothes in from the living room. She begged me to stay in her room for the night, because she didn’t want to have to explain anything to Winnie about me being there. Thank God her bedroom had an attached bathroom, or I would have never made it.

I promised to leave in the morning before Winnie left for daycare, but right now, all I wanted to do was lay here and watch Gem sleep. This was where I belonged. By her side. Always.

It was certainly easier than figuring everything else out.

The logistics, as she put it, swirled in the back of my mind as I slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her. I wasn’t going to screw up the first time I stayed over by letting Winnie catch me. So, I grabbed my clothes from the chair in the corner, dressing quickly and quietly. In the process, I stubbed my toe on Gemma’s bed. I smacked my hand over my mouth to stifle the instant curses that came out. The last thing we needed was for Winnie to hear me swearing like that.

Things were complicated enough without having to explain to a child why she woke up to a man cursing in her mom’s bedroom, and we had a sleepover and didn’t tell her about it.

Once I got myself together, I leaned over Gemma, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. She stirred slightly but didn’t wake. I whispered, “I’ll see you later.” Then I slipped out of her bedroom. Now came the tricky part.

I closed the door as quietly as possible, but I knew little ears were good at picking up faint sounds, so I took my time letting the door slowly latch. It barely made a sound.

Gemma had given me a spare key last night so I could lock up behind myself. No way was I leaving my girls asleep in an unlocked house. The front door key sat in my pocket as I tiptoed down the hall.

That might have been overkill. Her floor was carpeted. But I was paranoid.

We had to handle everything exactly right for Winnie, and nothing good would come from rushing that process. We didn’t want to scar her for life about sex or relationships or the rest of it. Nothing she’d spend years on a couch telling her therapist about, we agreed on that last night. So, once Gemma came to bed, we kept things PG. Just some kissing that led to nothing else until we figured out what we were doing and how thin Winnie’s bedroom wall was.

I made it to the front door when a heavy truck rumbled down the street, rattling the windows. I froze up, holding perfectly still and praying they wouldn’t wake Winnie. The tell-tale beeping of a big truck backing up followed, and I cursed my luck. But eventually, the truck made its way down the street. Once I was sure she hadn’t woken, I made my escape and locked up behind me.

I’d done it. A clean getaway.

The crisp morning air hit me as I stood there, the now-quiet suburban street a sharp contrast to the storm brewing in my mind. Every step toward my car, another factor sprang to mind. What would I tell Matthew? How fired would I be? I’d breached my contract, so that was that. I’d deal. Somehow.

“Coach McConnell!”

I froze, my head snapping up to see a man walking up to my car, a camera slung around his neck and some kind of device in his hand. A recorder, like Gemma’s. My stomach dropped. A reporter. Worse, a reporter who knew too much.

I didn’t know if he had tailed me to Gemma’s house, or if he just happened to find my car, but the press and the Atlanta Fire were barely on speaking terms, so I assumed the worst. I’d brought the press to my girls’ otherwise quiet life. I had to handle this just right.

“Got a minute?”

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