Page 28 of The Secret Play

“Mommy!” she exclaimed when she saw me, running over to wrap her arms around my legs. “Look what I made!”

“That’s amazing, sweetie,” I said, ruffling her hair and planting a kiss on her cheek.

As Winnie ran back to her coloring, Megan raised an eyebrow at me, her expression equal parts curious and concerned. I followed her into the kitchen so we could talk privately. “You’re back early. Though, I guess technically, it’s late. What happened?”

I leaned against my fridge, my hands trembling slightly as I tried to find the words. “Megan,” I said, my voice shaky. “I think Casey is Red.”

Her eyes widened. “Who’s—wait.Red? From the masquerade? Are you sure?”

“He has the birthmark, the one that looks like Italy that I told you about. The same gray hair. The same blue eyes. He’s been coaching the team for seven years, so he would have been there. It’s him.”

She leaned back on the counter, clearly stunned. “You’re sure?”

“One hundred percent,” I said.

Megan stared at me for a long moment before finally speaking. “Okay. Wow. So…what now?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted, burying my face in my hands. “What am I supposed to do? Just blurt out, ‘Hey, by the way, you’re my daughter’s father’? What if he hates me for not telling him sooner?”

“I mean, you had your reasons,” Megan said carefully. “You were trying to protect him—and yourself. And Winnie. It’s not like you knew him or whether he’d be a good father. You didn’t do anything malicious.”

“But will he see it that way?” I asked, my voice cracking. “Or will he think I kept him out of Winnie’s life on purpose?”

Megan didn’t have an answer for that, and the weight of the situation pressed down on me like a boulder. She paused before asking, “What do you even want from him? Do you want him to be part of Winnie’s life? Or is this about your relationship with him?”

“I don’t know. I just…I don’t want to lose him. But I don’t want to blindside him, either.”

Megan reached across the gap between us, squeezing my hand. “Maybe you don’t have to figure it out right this second. Keep seeing him, get to know him better. Maybe that’ll help you decide what to do.”

Her words made sense, but they didn’t make the fear go away. “The longer I date him without telling him, the more he’ll hate me when he finds out.”

“Ifhe finds out. Gem, this is huge. You don’t have to tell him anything you don’t want to tell him.”

My voice shook. “But I want to tell him, Meg. I want to tell him everything right now. No more secrets.”

“Then tell him.”

“I…I don’t think I can.”

She gulped. “Do you want me to tell him?”

“Oh God, no! Wait, are you serious? You’d do that?”

“Don’t insult me with questions like that. I’d do anything for you, and you know it.”

“Right, I know, it’s just…”

“This is huge and it’s related to Winnie, so you’re freaking out extra?”

“Yeah.”

She pulled me in for a hug, and it broke me. I crumbled in her arms, weeping for the cruelty of the situation.

How could I tell him? How could I not? I was screwed either way.

Telling him might mean anything from him being overjoyed to learn he has a daughter, to an ugly court case over custody. Not telling him felt like hell, and it’d only been an hour since I’d figured it out.

I glanced over at Winnie through the pass-thru, who was now singing softly to herself as she colored. She was my whole world, and I’d done everything in my power to give her the best life I could.

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