Page 67 of Pucked and Pregnant

“Would it help if we start?”

I nod.

“This was so much easier when we were kids.” Connor sighs.

Hearing my own thoughts spoken out loud by someone else causes me to look up.

“I know exactly how you feel.”

“Pretending nothing happened and trying to go back to our everyday lives clearly didn’t work. We were kidding ourselves when we said it was just a one-time thing. It seems we can’t keep our hands off each other the second we’re alone. Whether it’s just you and Aiden or all of us has proven that.”

“I didn’t mean to keep that from anyone. It wasn’t my intention to hide it, but how the hell do you bring something like that up?”

“I get it. You had way too much on your plate then and I should have checked in on you more often. I’m sorry,” Connor replies.

“So am I,” Dimitri adds.

“You have your own lives. I don’t expect you to drop everything and come running the second mine gets messy.”

“But we want to, at least I do. I can’t speak for Dimitri and Aiden.”

“You can when it comes to this,” they both say in so many words.

“And that’s exactly where we run into trouble,” says Connor. “We all want to be with you, to be there for you for whatever you need. It’s just that we don’t know where you stand on any of this, and that’s a breeding ground for conflict. Being stuck in the penalty box watching everyone else play was one hell of a wake-up call during the scrimmage. We talked about it amongst ourselves, but we can only get so far without you.”

“You need to tell us what and who you want.” Aiden squeezes my hand. “Whatever it is, we can make it work. And if you need some more time to think about it, that’s okay, too. We can wait.”

“I don’t need time. I know what I want. I just don’t think you’re going to like it.”

“We said we would work it out. Just tell us,” Dimitri says gruffly.

“I don’t want labels. I’m too focused on getting established here to worry about any kind of formal relationship. But I do want exclusivity.”

“That’s reasonable. Go on.”

“This is probably going to be the part that you’ll find unreasonable and ruins everything.” I take a deep breath to steady my nerves. “I couldn’t choose back then, and I can’t choose now. How could I? Aiden, you’re the sweetest guy I know. You always make me feel safe. And Connor, you always know how to take charge and get me out of my own head. I don’t think I could ever give up how vibrant everything becomes with how passionate you get about the things you care about, Dimitri. Last night and that time in New York, it was just so easy, right. MaybeI want too much, but if we could make it work then, why can’t we keep making it work now?”

They’re staring at me again.

It’s Connor who breaks the silence. “So if I’m hearing this correctly, you’re saying you want to see the three of us, together. Us and you.”

“Yes, but I understand if?—”

He holds up a hand to stop me. “I’ll be honest. That did come up as a possibility when we talked after the governor’s dinner. I didn’t think it’d be a possible scenario?—"

“Why not?”

“It seemed like you and Aiden were getting close, that the two of you had something special. I figured you might lean that way.”

“So last night was what, goodbye?”

“I thought it might be.”

“So why bother coming to see me at all then?”

“Because I couldn’t stomach the thought of giving you up without getting to touch you one last time.”

Connor slams his hands on the table then stands up so fast his chair topples over. Before I can register what’s happening, his hands are in my hair forcing me to look up at him.

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