Page 43 of Knocked Up By the Silver Fox

She hadn't even let me prove to her that it was genuine affection. She'd been keeping me at arm's length for so long, she had no clue how I felt. If my proposal hadn't convinced her, I didn't know what would, and baby or not, I felt like I might still lose her. Wouldn't that take the cake? To lose my company and the woman I loved at the same time?

29

BETH

Rachel sat on the couch next to me playing a game on her phone, and I stared out the window watching the light snow falling between our building and the one next to it. It was something I hated about living here, but Rachel loved the place, the people, the business of it. All I could think about was how trapped I felt.

"So you turned down London too?" she asked, absentmindedly tapping her screen. I watched as a few animations flashed on her screen, cars driving around with little colorful people in them. I didn't see how she could numb her mind with things like that, but then I was facing really huge issues. Maybe if my life was boring, I wouldn't mind dumping hours into a dumb game too.

"Yeah," I sighed, shifting my gaze to the plant in the corner of the room, dying just as I predicted it would. I did well with it when it was in my office, but after being shuffled into a small cubicle I knew it wouldn't fit. I brought it home and it started hating me immediately.

"That's good," she mumbled and then let out a frustrated breath and locked her phone. "My God…"

"What?" I said as I rested my head on the backrest of the couch. Her biggest frustrations in life were where to buy cheap groceries and losing a video game. I had a baby growing in my womb and I was at risk of losing my job. Still, I pushed away my own emotions to think of her.

"Dumb game." Rachel tossed her phone onto the coffee table next to my empty bowl. I'd just stuffed myself with minute noodles and broth, but it didn't fill the aching void.

After what happened at the gala I wasn't sure what to think. Will rushed off, and when he came back he was in a nasty mood. He ordered his driver to take me home, threw my coat and purse into the back seat, and told me he'd call me. Then he walked off with Allen and I hadn't seen him since.

When I got a message from Allen saying it might be a good idea for me to take a few personal days, I did a bit of snooping around. Kevin—who originally hated me and wanted me out of his department—filled me in on what happened. Everyone knew I was pregnant, and everyone thought I'd given Nevil Banks information about a client's account I never even looked at before.

"Want to go to a movie?" she asked and I frowned. I didn't want to go anywhere. I wanted my troubles to go.

"Not really," I muttered and I shut my eyes.

"Beth, you're moping. You sit there on that couch and stare at the wall all day long. This is exactly why I told you not to get involved in the first place. All drama." Rachel stood up and sighed hard and I felt angry with her.

"Can you just put yourself in my shoes for a second? Because you're being mean." My lip quivered and I knew I could start crying any second. Rachel turned to look at me and then rolled her eyes and looked away, but she sat back down. "Rach, this isn't my fault. I mean, yes, I could've been more careful and not gotten pregnant, but the whole scandal with this guy trying totell people I was selling him information is all a lie. My career is on the line, and it has nothing to do with what's going on between me and Will."

Rachel relaxed back on the couch and pulled a leg up. She hugged it and rested her chin on her knee. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. I saw the discouragement in her eyes and knew I hadn't been the same, and it was affecting her. She just wanted me to be her sister, and I'd been so stuck in my own world I hadn't really even given a single thought to her at all. She was selfish, but I understood why.

"He proposed…" I told her and her eyebrows ticked up slightly.

"He did?"

"Yes, he did." I let my eyes wander over to the window again. "And I told him no."

"What?" she asked as her leg dropped. She sat up and shook her head at me, giving me a look of confusion. "He's like a gazillionaire. Why would you do that?"

My shoulders drooped a little as I said, "Because I don't want it to be an obligation, Rach. I want him to marry me for love, but he just proposed because I'm pregnant. Men from his generation are like that. Knock a girl up and it's the end of bachelorhood."

My stomach turned at the idea that he'd put a ring on my finger just because I was having his baby. While being married to him was something I desperately wanted, I wanted it because we were madly in love. I wanted that deep friendship and intimacy, and I wanted it with him.

"Yeah, I get that…" she said softly, and I felt my eyes filling with tears.

Will hadn't called me all week except before bed one night when I was already half asleep. He explained that the board was scrambling to secure things and they were on a warpath now to find out how information got leaked. I made it clear to him thatit wasn't me, but I could tell he was dealing with things and they were stressing him.

When things got personal, I told him I was tired, and he let me go. I didn't have the emotional energy to explain to him that my heart wasn't peripheral. I needed him to show me that I was what he wanted.

My phone started to ring and Rachel picked it up off the table and handed it to me. I didn't recognize the number, but I swiped to answer anyway. There were two firms, smaller ones, here in New York who were considering me for a position now, and I couldn't afford to miss a call like that. But I was shocked when I heard the caller's voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey Beth … It's Abby …"

The sweet sound of Will's daughter's voice made me sit a bit straighter. A soberness filled me and I locked eyes with Rachel.

"Hey Abby, what's up?" Rachel's face blanched, and she stood up and gestured with her hand and then walked away, giving me privacy.

---