Page 38 of King of Pain

The only timeI’ve ever been in love was when I was getting my biology degree at NYU. I fell head over heels, but unlike with Luke, I waited to have sex because I wanted it to be really special.

Found him in bed with my roommate one night. That one was fun.

There is no way that Luke is the guy who doesn’t break my heart. “Watcha thinkin’ back there, kitten?”

I roll my eyes. “Kitten? Please.”

He drains the sink, drying his hands. “You’ve been quiet tonight.”

“Have I?” I shrug. “Being here is stirring old feelings, I guess.” New ones too. “I told you, Mark was one of the really good guys.”

“What happened? Between him and your mom?”

I shrug. “I think she got bored. But she ended up going on a bender in Reno. Found a new guy, who didn’t last long, but he stuck long enough that she dumped Mark. When she and the new guy burned out, I made her move back to Colorado. It’s the only place I was ever happy. And even though she left Mark…”

“You didn’t.”

I shook my head. “There was one guy she dated while I was in high school…” I stop, looking away. I don’t want to tell this story and I’m sorry I started it. I’m not sure what’s gotten into me tonight.

Luke squats down in front of me, taking my hands in his. “Kate.”

Nokitten. Nolove. My throat burns. “Sorry. We don’t have to do this, actually.”

He lets go of my hands and slides his palms over my legs until he’s holding my hips. “If you tell me, I’ll tell you one of my secrets.”

I feel tears burning my eyes. Part of me wants to get it out. I didn’t even tell my mom or Mark what actually happened. I just refused to go home with her as long as that guy was in the house. Him or me… She capitulated when Mark backed me up.

“I think what that makes it hard to tell anyone is that there is a piece of me that worries what happened was my fault.”

“Baby girl,” he whispers, leaning forward to plant a kiss into the crown of my hair. “I know it wasn’t your fault. So why don’t you tell me?”

“My mom was gone for three days, probably on a bender. She did that a lot. And her boyfriend of the time, he got more and more restless. I…” I swallow. “One day when I got home from school, he just…”

“What did he do?” His voice is so soft, so soothing, I almost miss the steel underneath it.

“He pinned me to a wall,” I curl down until my face is in the crook of his neck. “Touched me a lot of places that I…”

“How’d you get away?”

“I broke a vase over his head and knocked him out.”

“Good girl,” Luke brushes my hair back from my face, stroking his fingers through the strands. His touch is so gentle, his gaze unreadable. “What happened next?”

“I got the hell out of there. Ran to Mark. I told him enough that when my mom finally came back, he threatened to call the state unless she kicked the guy out.”

“What was the guy’s name?”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“Tell me anyway, sweetheart.”

“Chris Stanton.”

“Chris Stanton,” he repeats like he’s trying to memorize it. “Chris Stanton.”

“Like I said. Part of me has always worried?—”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

---