Page 66 of True Blue

“His flight got in no problem. You must be right.” I toss my phone on the bed. “He’s just busy getting settled in,” I tell myself.

“He might not be calling because of the time difference? I sort of called him right after you called me and left a voicemail telling him everything you told me.” Axel rubs the back of his neck, looking up at me through his lashes guiltily.

I nod, moving in between his legs and letting my hands rest around his neck. “That’s okay. It would have been a lot to try to go over everything again, so I don’t mind.”

Axel nods, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around me. “How are you feeling?”

I shrug. “I think I’m feeling too much to really feel any of it at this point, you know? It’s been a long day and I’m just really tired now.” As if to prove my point, I yawn above him.

He nods, leaning up to kiss the side of my neck. “I think you should sleep then, and we’ll have a great day tomorrow stuffingour faces.” He pulls back, moving his hands to either side of my face. “And after that, when you’re ready, I think you should call your mom and tell her all the stuff you said in the car with Layla and me.” I purse my lips. “You deserve to tell her how you feel. And Lay and I will be right there next to you if you need us.” He stares up at me, eyes imploring. “I love you.”

I nod between his hands. “You’re right. I’ll try to call her in a couple days. I love you, too.” He pulls me down to kiss him, smiling under my lips.

“Let me get out of your way so you can sleep.” He gets up, moving his hands to my waist and looking down at me. “I’ll come back in an hour or so when Dad has gone to bed, but I'll be right next door if you need me, okay?” I nod, yawning a second time. He chuckles and kisses my forehead. “Goodnight, Blue.”

“Goodnight,” I say as he steps around me and heads out of the room, closing the door behind him with a wink.

I stand there for a minute, holding my PJs to my chest. Exhaustion settles into my bones, and I sluggishly drag my clothes off to change, knowing I’ll be asleep long before Axel comes back. Once I’m dressed, I toss my duffel on the ground, pulling back the covers at the same time. I check my phone one more time, opening my messages with Bentley to make sure I didn’t miss anything and feel a pang when the same messages I’ve read stare back at me. I decide to text him, adding a heart at the end before sending it.

Hope you had a good flight! Made it to Maine without issue. Have a great Thanksgiving

Shutting off my phone, I turn off the bedside light and lay down, hoping Bentley is just having too much fun to pay attention to his phone right now and ignoring the stab of nerves in my gut.

31

The sound of the doorbell ringing twice jerks me from sleep and up into a sitting position on the bed, jostling Janette from my arms. She groans, sitting up and holding her head beside me. I look around for a minute, disoriented in the dark guest room, but the events of the day before soon come crashing in.

“Who’s here?” Janette mumbles, eyes barely open.

“I don’t know.” I get out of the bed and throw on the pair of jeans I stepped out of only a couple hours ago. The clock on the table blares indigo numbers up at me, reading 4:22, and I shake my head to try to clear some of the sleep from my brain. “I’m going to go down and find out. Stay here?”

“Fat chance,” she says, throwing the covers to the side and getting up out of the bed.

I pinch the bridge of my nose but reach out my other hand. She tangles her fingers with mine and I pull her close behind me as we walk out into the hall. Dad stands in the doorway of his room next to us, eyes bleary, in pajama pants and a robe.

“Who the fuck is ringing the doorbell at four am?” I shrug and he eyes the two of us coming out of the same room. “Seriously, Axel?”

Layla’s door opens down the hall, saving me from that conversation and Gwen’s door follows a half a second later. My sisters come out into the hall, glancing over at us through sleep addled eyes in disheveled PJs.

“We all going down together?” Layla asks. I nod, heading past them and down the stairs. Dad follows on the heels of Janette behind me, and I can hear the girls at the back in the creak of the floorboards.

I reach the door first, hand on the knob when Dad taps me on the shoulder. I step back, sliding out of the way so that he can get past me and open it, the girls all huddled right behind my back. Janette squeezes my hand, gripping my upper arm tightly as well. Dad flicks on the porch light, unlocks the deadbolt, and pulls open the door to reveal Bentley standing on the other side, suitcase at his feet and hands cupped in front of his mouth as he shivers on our porch. He blinks in the light, looking manic and unkempt as his eyes squint, seeing first my father then me behind him.

Pure relief floods my veins seeing him here in front of us. I didn’t want to stress Janette out more last night, but not hearing anything from him at all yesterday made me nervous that something happened. We might know that his flight made it no problem, but something could have happened on the way to the airport or immediately after he got off the plane, and as I held her while she fell asleep, I thought over every possibility and quietly hoped he was okay.

Confusion quickly follows the relief, especially when Bentley starts speaking.

“Axel, I’m sorry,” he blurts, and my dad looks back at me with deeply furrowed brows.

I keep staring at Bentley, blood rushing around inside my sleepy body and making me feel lightheaded.

“I love you, and I don’t want to hide that. I’ll tell anyone you want. I’ll call Mira right now and explain everything if that’s what you want. I’ll put an ad out online, hang a banner from West Tower if you want me to. I just don’t want you to think that I don’t love you with everything I have.”

My heart stops in my chest, all sounds falling away as I stare at him in the doorway.

“When I heard your voice on that message, I knew how stupid I had been, and I needed to apologize to you immediately. I love you Axel, I swear. I'm sorry I ever made you feel differently.” He breathes heavily staring at only me when he’s done.

My body freezes in place, all thoughts leaving my mind as a building warmth spreads through me, slowly thawing my frozen state. I can feel everyone else looking at me, but the only thing my eyes see is Bentley standing in the snow waiting for me to respond.

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