Page 59 of True Blue

Axel fishes around in his pocket, pulling out his phone. “I’m telling Layla I’m going home with you. You shouldn’t have to walk into that alone.”

Janette grabs his hand, stopping him from sending a text. “No, Axe. I'll be okay. I’m not ruining your time off with my family issues. And you need to go home and see your dad.” My heart squeezes for her when I think about how much she probably wishes she could do the same. “Go gorge yourself on turkey and Uncle Jack’s stuffing. I’ll be okay.” She turns back to look at me. “I’ll call if I need to.”

I nod. “I can always cancel my trip. My family doesn’t really do the whole turkey and stuffing thing so I wouldn’t be missing out.”

She shakes her head. “You don’t get to see your parents that often. Go be with them. I'll be okay, guys, I swear. I can handle my mom.” She glances at her watch, shaking my hands off her shoulders. “I need to get going, my Uber’s going to be here in a few minutes.” She walks back over to her bags. Axel and I each grab one before she can, helping her shoulder them both.

She leans up on her tip toes, kissing Axel quickly before turning toward me. I lean down and kiss her, holding her head in place as I deepen the peck she tries to get away with. She opens up to me, tongue tangling with mine before I pull back and wink down at her.

She leans back, looking a little bit dazed. “I love you guys,” she whispers, looking between each of us with a small smile.

My heart stops. Axel freezes up next to me, mouth popping open.

Janette chuckles, turning and opening the door and walking out of the suite without another word.

“What the fuck?” Axel exclaims, taking a step toward the door once it closes.

I reach out, grabbing his arm to stop him. “Let her go. She has a flight to catch.”

He whirls around on me, eyes wild, and runs a hand through his hair. “You’re fine with what just happened? She just dropped that bomb and then left!”

I chuckle, feeling like I’ve been losing mass ever since she said those words and could just start to float away any second. Shrugging at Axel, I squeeze his arm to ground me. “She said it on her terms. It very much fits with who she is.”

Axel shakes his head, shaking my hand off. “She didn’t even wait for us to recover. She just said it out of nowhere like it was no big deal.” He yells in frustration, starting to pace behind the side of the couch. “And now we have to wait five days to say it back!” His hands take up permanent residence in his hair, and I watch him spiral with a smile on my face.

He stops suddenly, pulling his phone back out. “I’m going to call her. I can’t wait that long.” He puts the phone to his ear after tapping a few times and I watch him go back to pacing, the ringing on the other end going on for a while.

“She sent me to voicemail!” He pulls the phone away from his face, looking at it like it personally attacked him.

I put my hands in my pockets, still standing by the door. “She’s probably freaking out in the back of the Uber. You know she has to settle into these things. Give her a little time.”

“Uh-huh,” he mutters, pulling the phone back to his ear and listening to the end of her voicemail message. When the record tone goes off, he stands still. “I can’t believe you just didthat, Janette. I am so pissed off and turned on, and just—ugh—why did you leave like that? You didn’t even wait for us to say anything.” He shakes his head, looking me in the eyes as he leaves the rambling message. “I’m not going to say it back right now, because I want to do it in person, but ditto, okay? And when we all get back in a few days I’m never going to stop saying it.” The mania in his eyes dies down and he swallows. “Call us if you need us. I mean it, Blue. Don’t hold it in because you don’t want to ruin our vacations. We want to be there for you when you need us. Let us do that.” My smile grows, the light feeling expanding through me. “Alright, I'll see you in a few days. Layla’s going to try to make Mom’s cobbler. I’ll bring some back with me. Oh, and start planning how you’re going to make this up to me. Later, Blue.” He hangs up, a sly smile on his face. “I hope it involves chocolate sauce,” he says to me, still looking at his phone as he answers a text, probably from one of his sisters.

“I love you,” I say, waiting.

He freezes up again, recovering much more quickly though when his head whips up to stare at me. His mouth opens and closes, and I walk up to him slowly, stopping when we’re chest to chest. “I love you,” I repeat, grabbing the back of his head and crushing my lips to his. He kisses me back, arms wrapping around my waist. Our tongues tangle and I start to press him forward toward the wall a few feet away when another knock sounds at the door. We both jump apart, breathing heavily. His eyes scan my face, wide and unfocused. I run a hand through my hair, licking my lips before turning and heading back over to the suite door.

Opening it, I find my best friend standing on the other side, eyes alight and smiling. “Hey, just wanted to stop by and say have a great time with your parents! Ramsey’s downstairs waiting for me.” I nod, leaning in to hug Mira.

“Tell them we said Happy Thanksgiving,” she whispers in my ear.

“I will. You guys have fun too. Bring me back some of April’s food, Mir.” I lean against the door.

“Will do. Bye Axel! Have a great holiday!” She waves at him over my shoulder before heading back to the elevators. I shut the door, turning back around to look at Axel.

He stares at me, the desire from earlier drained from his face. A stony look takes its place. “If you love me,” Axel says, voice low. “You’d tell your friends about us.”

I rock back a little, seeing the hurt flash in his eyes before he turns and heads into his room, closing the door behind him. I stand in the same spot for a few minutes, debating going in after him, but knowing there’s nothing more I can say to make this better. Huffing a breath, I head back to my room to finish packing, ignoring the urge to go to him.

28

The Uber turns down Mom’s street and I feel a weird mix of apprehension and excitement. Everything looks the same, the grand houses we pass, the same trees lining the street, the same roundabout at the end. But it feels different too, familiar, but still not mine. Even more so now. My anxiety over seeing Mom again explodes throughout my body, starting in my stomach and expanding out, making my limbs feel heavy and awkward.

We drive slowly toward the white wall and the driver stops just outside the closed gate. I thank him, getting out and going to wait by the trunk. He hands me my bags, nodding when I thank him again before I turn toward the house. Walking over to the little silver box, I type in my access code, the metal gate starting to swing open slowly. I duck through, putting my code in again on the other side and stopping it from opening all the way as it automatically starts to close again.

Turning and looking up at the huge house, I take a deep breath.

Five days. I can make it five days.

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