“I'll take Mira home. The girl I was supposed to meet never showed up anyways. You guys stay and have fun,” the guy between Mira and her brother says.
Bentley leans forward, about to intervene with his fists clenched at his side, but Mira grabs the guy’s arm, seeming to give up the fight. “Whatever,” she says, jumping off her stool and subtly shaking her head at Bentley. He shares a look with her, and she pleads with him with her eyes. I look to the guy next to Mira and see him watching the exchange as well, mouth twisted to the side. What is his deal with Bentley?
Mira storms out, taking her stuff with her and the guy puts his hand on the table, looking around at us as he says, “Sorry guys, have a great night and don’t let this one spend the whole-time sulking.” He nudges Ramsey who grunts before disappearing after Mira through the front door.
Bentley stares after them and I glance over at Axel. He watches Bentley too, concern etched into the crinkles around his eyes and hard set of his mouth. Tanner comes around to stand behind Layla and me, and I notice Aria playing with the straw of her cup, glancing over my shoulder every now and then.
Ramsey moves behind Autumn, standing beside Axel who glances around at the new guys filling in our table.
“Bent,” Axe calls, nodding to the empty seat at the head of the table. “You going to take that seat?”
Bentley rolls his eyes at Axel and sighs. “No, Axe. You want it?” Axel scoots around Ramsey and plops down, smiling at the table as he does so. Bentley shakes his head, but a small smile sits on his face, and I see Layla notice it too, looking between the two of them before turning to look at me with wide eyes.
I look out the window, avoiding her gaze as Ramsey and Bentley start talking about sports and Autumn asks Tanner how the hockey team is doing so far. They get into an argument about the mascot, Aria even laughing along when Axel starts howlingat the ceiling, making people look over from other tables in the now busy bar. I watch them all interact, sipping my soda and laughing along.
Until I glance over at my guys and notice Bentley’s hand.
It rests on Axel’s thigh casually, neither of them looking uncomfortable and enjoying the contact. But my eyes home in on the hand, mind exploding as I remember Bentley accusing Axel of using me to get back at him. And then I remember Axel telling me they slept together. All the looks between the two of them from tonight play through my mind and a twinge goes through the center of my torso.
My breath comes shallow, the noise in the room seeming to dim as the lights suddenly feel too bright and I jump up from the table.
Everyone looks over at me, Layla reaching out to touch my arm. “You okay, J?”
I nod, giving my practiced public smile. “Yeah, just need to get some fresh air quick.”
“Want me to come?” She starts getting off her barstool, but I quickly shake my head, avoiding looking at anyone else.
“No, it’s fine. I just need a sec.”
She nods and everyone goes back to their conversation as I pass between Tanner and the guy beside him, heading for the slightly ajar back door beside the bar.
Stepping into the cold night air, I breathe heavily, pacing the width of the small alleyway I find myself in. Images of Bentley and Axel, real looks passed between them, and things I've imagined of them wrapped together, reel through me, as I try to calm down. My hands go to my head, holding the sides of it and holding back my curls as I stare at the ground, trying to think clearly.
Was I always just in between the two of them, getting in the way when they both thought they couldn’t have each other?
Christopher calling me pathetic comes to mind and I feel the lance of the barb sink deep as I question what’s happened between them since the last time we were all together. They could hardly look at one another and now they’re exchanging charged looks and touching each other in public. Maybe they realized I was the wrench in the system.
The door opens behind me and déjà vu slams into me as I whirl around and find Bentley staring me down. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to get you alone, but you seem to make it rather easy for me each time,” Bentley says, chuckling as he steps into the dim alleyway. “What is with you and back doors?”
I stop pacing, as far from him as I can get in the limited space, and stare at him, hands still in my hair.
The humor leaves his face, and he closes the distance between us quickly. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m so stupid,” I whimper, staring up at him in the moonlight. “I’m the problem, aren’t I?”
His face clouds further, scrunching up as he tries to understand my panicked conclusion.
“The reason you and Axel fight is because of me, right?” I look away from him, going back to pacing, only heading away from him and then back toward as I rant. “I was always sitting between you guys, causing problems the whole time. You both knew you wanted each other, and I threw a grenade in the whole thing, coming in and causing problems by liking both of you, so suddenly you guys were fighting, and it was all because of me. You’ve both put it together, haven’t you?” The fault line fracturing up the center of my being, rumbles as I stop a foot away from him, finally dropping my hands in defeat and meeting his wide-eyed gaze.
His mouth hangs open a little as he stares down at me.
“You’ve both realized you’re better off together rather than one of you trying to get the girl and the other ending up alone. So, I'm the odd one out, right?”
“Sunshine,” he says softly, walking up to me and placing his hands on my shoulders. “You’ve got it all wrong.”
I feel my lower lip start to tremble, the back of my throat and bridge of my nose tingling. “It’s okay.” I sniffle, looking away from him. “I’m not going to plead or anything. I’ll bow out graciously, I'm just coming to terms with it right now.”
He shakes his head, whispering, “This is not going how I planned.”