Page 53 of Lose You to Find Me

Fair.

“Hey—”

She holds up her hand, looking more tired than normal. “You told me you wanted to move on. That you were ready to do that.”

I didn’t mean to lie to her. “I thought I was” is my quiet reply. Even though I know she’s not looking for details, I feel the need to explain. “Raine and I were talking, and a lot of emotions came up. She’s…familiar to me. It’s a hard pattern to quit.”

It’s a shitty reason to do what I did, but at least I’m being honest.

Emma can’t look me in the eye as she crosses her arms and lets out a breath. “I told you before that I didn’t think dating was a good idea because of everything you’re going through, butyoutold me you wanted to give it a chance.Youconvinced me to not let this end.”

All I can say is “I know.”

Both women have a right to tell me off, so I accept everything they say. Do I like what I’ve put them through? No. It makes me feel like a jackass, especially considering I accused Raine of sleeping around.

“She wants a dog,” Emma tells me, causing my eyes to lift to her in curiosity.

“What?”

Emma lowers her arms to her sides. “She wants to buy one of the dogs from my family’s litter. I saw her in town the other week with one of them that escaped through the fence.”

I stare for a brief moment. “I didn’t know you two knew each other…”

“Your phone background is of you two,” she points out, making me feel like an even bigger dick. I’d meant to change it, but I couldn’t. “I recognized her right away but didn’t tell her how close you and I have been.”

That must be why Raine kept staring at Emma when she walked into her hospital room earlier. “I’m sorry, Em. I wanted to believe I was over the relationship.”

She gnaws her lip and nods once before standing straighter and finally looking me in the eye. “Yeah. I obviously wanted to believe that too. I guess we’re both idiots.”

As she starts to walk away, I reach out to gently grab her wrist. “Wait.”

Her wary eyes look over her shoulder at me before she carefully takes her arm back.

“How much are you selling the dogs for?”

Emma blinks slowly, staring at me as she soaks in that question. Then she says, “You want to buy it for her, don’t you?”

I cringe, realizing how fucked up that is.

She scoffs. “Of course you do.” Wetting her lips, she shakes her head and rubs her tired eyes. “You’re such a dick, Caleb.”

Then she walks away.

Chapter Nineteen

RAINE

Caleb’s reaction inthe hospital is the exact reason I chose to end things in the first place. Hewantedthere to be a baby, but there isn’t. Hewantsto be a dad, but he can’t be. Not with me. I saw it clear as day on his face just how devastated he was the second it soaked in that I wasn’t about to give him what he dreamed of.

I’m not pregnant.

Not with his baby.

Definitelynot with Chris’s.

Every fear I had about saying yes to his proposal was solidified in the middle of the emergency room. I hate that I was right because that means there’s no chance for us. Not again. But at least I got some justification knowing I wasn’t completely out of hand with my choice.

It’s for the best, I tell myself for the billionth time. If not now, it would have happened someday when things became too much.

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