Page 103 of Lose You to Find Me

He nods. “As good as it can be. I just think it’d be great if you and Jen had a chance to sit down and chat a bit while she’s in town.”

I put their fritters on plates and set them down in front of them. “Grab a table, and I’ll meet you over there in a minute. I’m going to get a drink and let them know I’m taking five.”

Wiping my hands off on my apron, I untie it and pop my head into the back. “Lena, can you take over the counter for a few minutes? Leon is here with his daughter, so I’m going to sit with them.”

Bea waves her granddaughter off. “Go on. I’ve got this covered for now.”

After pouring myself a glass of water, I head to the back and pull out the chair between Leon and Jenna.

Jenna starts the conversation. “I read the paper that Dad helped you with. It’s really good. Reading that stuff about him and Mom brought up a lot of good memories from when I was little.” She gives Leon a nostalgic smile that I can see his lips slowly curling to return. “It made me think about how grateful I am to have them as parents.”

Hearing her say that makes me happy, knowing that there were rough patches along the way for the three of them. “I wish I could have gotten to know Annemarie. She seems like she would’ve been the perfect mother.”

A fondness warms Leon’s face at the sentiment that I know to be true.

Jenna turns to me. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something. I know you know about Mom’s fertility issues. He mentioned that you understood on a personal level, and reading that paper made me think about everything my mother would have loved to do before she passed away. Did Dad ever tell you she was into charity work and volunteering?”

I shake my head, racking my brain for a time that might have come up. “We didn’t really discuss that, but I’m not surprised to hear it. That seems like something she’d do.”

Jenna beams. “Exactly. Which is why I think it’d be a neat idea to do something in her name. Like some sort of charity event or work that helps women somehow.”

“Are you thinking a donation in her name, or something bigger?” I question, leaning back in my chair. I’ve definitely seen people do stuff like that for loved ones, but I’ve never researched it before.

Leon sets down his cider. “Annemarie was someone who’d want to go big or go home. She had a big heart. The more she could help, the happier she was.”

Jenna nods. “I don’t know what your experience is with reproductive health. I know you’re not in school for anything like that, but you do want to help people. I figured the best way to mesh the best of both worlds was to ask you how to start. Maybe see if you had any ideas.”

While I didn’t know Annemarie personally, I can guess her personal struggles. I haven’t thought about being an advocate for reproductive health, but I’m sure it’s something she would have partnered with me on if she were around.

Something she would have started.

Go big or go home.

“I’d have to look into it,” I start, looking between the two of them. “But I think somebody like Annemarie would want to help as many people as she could. Educating. Raising money for organizations that would benefit universal reproductive health to reach the audience who needed it most. Something like that.”

Leon’s eyes lighten the same way Jenna’s do. Even if they’re not blood related, their expressions are uncanny. A true case of nature versus nurture. Everything Leon and Annemarie did for her is evident in the way she carries herself. If I can see it, so can anybody else.

Annemarie is the perfect spokesperson for the people who need her kind of story.

People like me.

The ones who need hope.

“You could call it the Annemarie Project,” I suggest, toying with my water glass.

Maybe if I’d had that kind of resource when I first found out about my diagnosis, I wouldn’t have been so scared. So destructive. I’d like to think I would have told my parents and Caleb what was going on instead of thinking worst-case scenario. If there are women out there who can be helped before they make the same choices as me, they’d have a better chance at being happier with themselves in the long run.

Jenna and Leon share a look, silently communicating through their eyes. When they turn back to me, their smiles say it all.

“Wecould call it that,” Jenna corrects.

I swallow, knowing I already have a lot on my plate but also feeling something tug in my chest that encourages me to take this opportunity.

Annemarie isn’t here to share her story.

But I am.

I have nothing left to lose anymore, so maybe it’s time to finally open up.

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