Page 93 of Lose You to Find Me

Taking over the kiss, I use one hand to cup the back of her head, threading my fingers in her hair to keep her face against mine as our mouths fuse with desperation. My other hand goes to her panties, already damp for me, where I move two of my fingers underneath the cotton to tease her until a needy moan escapes her mouth.

Just as I probe her entrance, she freezes as if she realizes where we are and asks, “What if someone sees?”

There aren’t any buildings nearby and rarely ever traffic considering this is a seasonal road. I sink just the tips of my fingers inside her and lean into her ear, whispering, “Don’t worry. I’ll tell them we’re just friends. After all, I’m not yours. Remember?”

She gasps when I plunge my fingers farther inside her, making tears shine in her eyes. “H-hurts,” she says.

I pause at the stuttered word. “Do you want me to stop?”

One of her arms hooks around my neck until she’s hugging us together and moving her hips up to ride my hand in the rhythm she wants, giving me the answer before she says, “No. It’s fine.”

“Are you su—”

“Yes,” she whispers, kissing me again to stop me from asking.

Not another word is said, just desperate noises in between hungry kisses and heavy panting. I feel her fingernails dig into the bare sliver of skin on the back of my neck between where my hair ends and my jacket starts. I know there will be little marks left behind from the bites of pain as her orgasm builds around my digits. Scissoring my fingers and hooking them has her thighs starting to shake and her teeth biting down onto my bottom lip. It only makes me harder, the growing bulge trapped in my jeans painful as hell.

I pay it no attention as a barely audible version of my name comes from her mouth or as she grinds on my hand until I can feel the wetness coating my palm, and I make no move to get any relief when she comes, clenching around me.

Waiting until she rides it out, I watch a sated expression come across her face before I carefully pull out my fingers.

“Funny,” I murmur, lifting them to my mouth and slowly moving my tongue over the arousal left behind. “It sure as fuck tastes like you’re mine.”

A sharp breath leaves her as she watches me, eyelids heavier than before.

One of my shoulders lifts. “My mistake.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

RAINE

The monitor attachedto my finger records my pulse spiking every time I hear footsteps outside the curtain, knowing today is the day I’ll know the truth. Whether I want to accept it is a whole different game.

“Relax,” Mom tells me, putting her hand on my leg, which hasn’t stayed still since I was told to change into the gown and socks by the sweet-faced nurse. “They’re going to take good care of you. You have nothing to worry about.”

It’s not the procedure I’m worried about. It isn’t supposed to take long, so I’ll be out of here before I know it. What I can’t get off my mind is the aftermath.

“What if they tell me worst case?” I ask quietly, staring vulnerably at my mother and hoping she’ll be there for me. No theatrics or accusations of being melodramatic.

Right now, I need my mom.

As a daughter.

She gives me that, curling her hand on my leg in comfort. “I have no doubt thatwhenyou become a mother someday, you’re going to be the best one you can be because you’re always looking at the positive things in life. That goes a long way, Raine.”

Hearing her tell me that means more to me than she’ll ever know. “Thank you.”

The day I got back from lunch with Dad, I walked into the house and gave her a tight hug. I could tell she was surprised, but it didn’t take long for her to return it, wrapping her arms around me and telling me she loved me.

I know we’ll always have our tiffs, but I also know she’ll always have my back when I truly need her there. Same with Dad.

That didn’t encourage me to tell her I saw Caleb again. When he dropped me off after our second truck hookup, Mom was locked away in her craft room finishing a project for a client and that kept her busy all night.

Which was good.

Because I went to my room and curled up with Sigmund on my bed, still feeling where Caleb’s fingers had been minutes before and remembering all the reasons that we shouldn’t have done that.

How am I supposed to push him away if telling him about Cody didn’t impact how he feels? He still cares. Deeply. The same way I do about him. That’s why he’s still around, helping me. Making his point clear about where we stand. There’s only so much I can do before the truth comes out once and for all. Because I’d have to tell him if he doesn’t run for good.

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