Page 38 of Lose You to Find Me

A cute, high-pitched bark comes from my new four-legged friend currently standing in my lap. It makes me laugh as I scratch between his ears and see him wag his tail harder.

I’ve always said I wanted to get a dog when I got my own place, but I never lived anywhere that had room for one. Caleb and I discussed what breed would be good or what place we should adopt from, but we never made it to that point.

“It’d be like our baby,” I tell Caleb, looking up at him from where my head rests on his lap. “Corgis are pretty cute. Have you seen the one that’s gone viral online? His accounts are all named Conner the Corgi. I spend way too much time watching the videos his owners make of him.”

Caleb smiles down at me, passing me another handful of Milk Duds and moving hair out of my eyes. “Corgis are cute, but you know what’s cuter?”

My face twists in consideration. “A bulldog? Frenchies are pretty adorable too.”

He laughs. “I was thinking about an actual baby.”

My lips twitch downward at the thought.

The appetite I had is squandered by the baby talk. Not because I hate babies but because I remember vividly what my doctor told me about having them years ago. Afterithappened. I don’t like thinking about that.

Denial at its best.

Staring at the candy melting in my hand, I say, “We’re only twenty-one. We’ve got a long time before we consider a baby. We’re still babies ourselves.”

He bends and kisses my temple. “You’re right. But I think we’re going to make some cute kids one day.”

Throat tightening, I make a humming noise in feigned agreement. “Yeah. One day.”

Maybe I should have just ripped the Band-Aid off and told him then. It was the first time Caleb ever brought up babies, but it definitely wasn’t the last time. I’d always find a reasonable response.

We’re still young.

We’ve got our careers to focus on.

We should get a dog first.

We need a house.

What about our student debt?

I knew those excuses would run out eventually. And they did.

I glance under the puppy to see if he is, in fact, a boy. Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night, I’ll google puppies for sale in my area to see what my options are. The price tags are the only real reason I haven’t tried harder to actually get one. That and my mom always being hesitant about pets. When we lost our tiger cat, Murphy, years ago, she swore we’d never get another pet because it was too hard to see them go. Dad thought she was being a little dramatic, but I understood. Losing things you love puts a hole in your heart that never really heals no matter the amount of time that passes.

“Oh my God, you found him!” someone says frantically from behind me. I look over my shoulder to see a girl who looks around my age.

Dark hair, almost black. Tall. Pretty.

She stops beside me and squats down, fussing over the dog who’s clearly happy to see her. “He got out of the yard earlier when I wasn’t looking. I swear, I knew this one was going to be trouble as soon as he was born. Thank yousomuch for keeping an eye on him.”

My chest deflates, along with the possibility of me being able to take this little guy home with me. “What’s his name?”

The girl smiles at me, her eyes a unique shade of gray-blue that I haven’t seen often. “He doesn’t have one, actually. My parents’ pit bull had an unexpected litter of puppies with the neighbor’s dog, so my family told me not to name them or else I’d get attached. I already am though. How can you not be when you see that face?”

I turn back to the puppy in question. “So he’s for sale?”

“Are you interested? My mom isn’t sure what to price them at quite yet, but I can talk to her. You’re Raine, right?”

My eyes widen at her guess.

“I’ve seen pictures of you,” she admits. Before I can ask where she’s seen photos of me, she stands and glances down at the puppy still on me. “Let me ask my mom about this troublemaker. Pitties don’t sell well because of their reputation, so she may be willing to give you a really good price.”

I carefully pick up the squirming puppy and stand up, passing him over to her. “I’d appreciate that. I can give you my number.”

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