Page 35 of Lose You to Find Me

I hold up my hand, wanting to avoid any extra mixed emotions right now. “I can’t handle any more bullshit today, Raine, so whatever you have to say needs to wait.”

She stops abruptly a few feet away, lips parted in shock at my cool tone.

DJ curses under his breath before shoving me toward the passenger door. “Get in the truck, dumbass, before you say more shit you’re going to regret later.”

Right before I climb in, I see Raine’s crestfallen expression as she takes a step back. I get in and slam the door shut with a groan, knowing that was uncalled for.

DJ walks over to her, but I don’t know what they say. Her eyes go to the truck for a brief moment before she shakes her head, turns around, and walks away. My best friend walks over, climbs into the driver’s side, and shoots me a look.

“I don’t want to hear it,” I grumble, pinching the bridge of my nose.

He scoffs. “I hope you realize what a dick move that was when you clear your head. She was just checking in on you because she cares. Jesus.”

That hits me square in the gut, which I have a feeling he was going for. “I’ll talk to her when I can.”

The only thing I give him is a noncommittal noise when he replies, “You can’t do it all, Cal. You’re not a superhero, and nobody expects you to be.”

I harrumph, looking out the window as we drive down the main drag and thinking about how much easier it’d be if I were one.

Chapter Fourteen

RAINE

It’s been twodays since I spoke to the police officer about the hardware store, and I still haven’t heard a single thing from Caleb after trying to catch him on campus. Did I expect a thank-you for letting him know? No. But I figured I’d get some sort of update to make sure he was okay. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for snapping because he was obviously having a bad day, but the silent treatment is hard not to be upset about when he’s been using it to avoid talking about us having sex too.

Grumbling over my sour mood, I check my phone for the third time in an hour and a fourth right after just in case he texted me and I didn’t see it. When I come to terms with the fact that he wants nothing to do with me, I decide to power off my cell and stuff it into my book bag. I can’t spend another day obsessing over the situation. Namely, Caleb.

I spot Skylar walking into the library a few minutes later, her eyes dancing along the sections of seating until they land on me. She waves and walks over to where I’ve got my textbooks all set up in front of me on the table with a perky smile on her face.

“Hey,” she greets. Her eyes study the mess of school material in front of me. “That all looks intense. I’m glad I ruled out psychology as a major if that’s the reading material.”

I grab the apple-cinnamon flavored coffee I bought from Bea’s after my shift this morning and take a sip. “Yeah, classes are a little rough this semester,” I admit.

Mom had told me she didn’t want to be part of my project in the most Janet Copelin way possible. “I don’t need to be part of your little therapy session, Raine. I’ve got other things to focus on.”

It wasn’t necessarily a surprising reaction to hear since she rarely helped me with homework in the past, but I would have liked her to at least entertain helping me. “How are you doing?” I ask, gesturing toward the seat across from me. “You can sit if you’d like. I haven’t seen DJ yet if that’s who you’re looking for.”

Last time I crossed paths with DJ, he told me to give Caleb time. “He’s going through it, Raine,” he’d told me. “I’m not saying that what he said was cool, but we both know that’s not him. Just do me a favor when he comes to his senses? Make him grovel.”

DJ was trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t work. Because I know if anyone should be groveling for all the horrible stuff that’s happened between us, it’s not Caleb.

Skylar’s sweet nature and DJ’s typical goofy personality have made me feel a little relieved that the people I’ve known for years aren’t just going to drop me out of their lives completely because of my relationship shift with Caleb.

Mom told me not to worry about that stuff before the semester started. “Your true friends will never leave,” she said. I guess she’d know. I watched the small group of people who she and Dad hung out with on occasion split between them, like their friends had to choose sides with the divorce too. Mom spent weeks complaining to me about it, and there was nothing I could say to make it better.

Skylar sits down, dropping her things onto the small corner of the table I’m not taking over. “I’m not sure he can come. He told me he was with Caleb at the store. They’re doing more cleanup today after the police came to try getting fingerprints and look over the security footage. Did you see who did it? Danny told me it looked bad when they went in the other day.”

Knowing he saw the damage and still didn’t reach out only makes me feel worse, but I try not to let her see that. “I didn’t go in or anything, but it didn’t look like there was anybody inside when I passed by. The police got there pretty quickly, and they didn’t mention anything either.”

She nibbles her bottom lip. “That sucks.” A brief pause surrounds us. When she shifts and looks around, I’m wondering what’s on her mind. Then she says, “Can I ask you something?”

I already know what it’s about. “Sure.”

“Do you miss him?”

The question sinks in almost instantly, but not as quickly as the answer. “Every day.”

We share a look, and I note the confusion on her face. I understand. It’s the same look most people give me over the situation. How could I not miss someone I spent so much time with over the years? Losing Caleb felt like losing a piece of me.

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