Page 1 of Lose You to Find Me

Prologue

RAINE

The university footballfield looks different set up for the graduation ceremony. Instead of the bleachers being full of fans sporting Lindon’s bright red team colors, it’s a crowd of people in formal wear supporting their loved ones, spread in rows of folding chairs across the turf.

A pressure builds in the pit of my stomach when I hearRaine Joanna Copelinannounced through the microphone. On wobbly legs, I look to the crowd and see a blur of faces cheering me on. Mom and Dad are there beside each other with big smiles on their faces despite the divorce drama they’ve been going through for the past few months, and Mom’s sister, Aunt Tiffany, is perched on her other side, holding up her phone to take a billion pictures that she’ll undoubtedly tag me in later.

Skin tightening as I shake the long line of hands before accepting my diploma, I turn to face the front of the stage and roll my shoulders back to stand taller. There’s a warm buzz creeping along my skin as I hear one voice in particular cheering me on louder than anybody.

From the corner of my eye, I see Caleb Anders clapping the loudest, along with half the school’s football team cheering right alongside him.

Normally, the former running back whistling at me is the one everybody has their eyes on when he’s standing on this field. There isn’t one game of his that I missed during the season. I’d sit beside every other fan watching the Dragons take on their opponents, feeling the anxiety of every chase, tackle, and touchdown that came with the intense game.

I keep reminding myself that this very moment has been one I’ve been dreaming of for years. The start of something new—a big future withDr. Copelinprinted on an office door in bold lettering to a practice that is solely mine.

But I know the future is murky when it comes to other people’s plans for me.

Namely, Caleb’s.

My ears ring when the ceremony ends and everybody tosses their caps into the air. I barely register callused hands pulling me to the side when our class disperses with a newfound freedom tied to four years of steep debt.

Caleb wraps me in a big hug, which I instantly return despite thethump, thump, thumpof my pounding heart. Can he feel it drumming against his chest? When he pulls back, there’s a glossy look to his eyes that sets off alarm bells.

Because I know that the future Caleb wants is about to be thrown into my face in front of all these people.

A future I can’t give him.

My stomach drops at the same moment as he does onto one knee. I hear a collective gasp come from the people around us as they watch the scene unfold.

The panic seeps in as he looks up at me with those warm chocolate eyes that have always made me feel so loved and taken care of.

When he pulls out a small black velvet box, I know exactly what’s resting inside before he even opens it to reveal the beautiful white-gold ring sitting in the holder. The sun hits the small diamond, making it shimmer like the hope on Caleb’s face as he asks me those four words.

“Will you marry me?”

The ringing in my ears intensifies, drowning out the crowd waiting for my response. My eyes lift to graze the eager bystanders and lock with Mom’s and Tiffany’s stricken faces, then Dad’s blank one as he stares at the ring my boyfriend of seven years is holding.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

When I finally look back down at the twenty-two-year-old with a boyish smile, I know without a single doubt in my mind that I love him. I’ve loved him for a long time—long before he gave me that little stuffed polar bear holding a heart that hadI love youstitched into it.

It was our thing.Histhing. When the verbal words were too much, he’d gift them to me, and I’d felt them all the same.

I love you.

Be mine.

Happily ever after.

I’d fallen in love with his wit and how much he cared for his family. The boy kneeling in front of me with wavering lips as he awaits my answer is a family man to his core. He’s going to take over the hardware store in Lindon, a legacy his father has built for many generations to come.

Which is the problem.

Legacies like that will leave a mark on the world along with huge expectations that I can’t live up to.

But Caleb can’t know about the reason why.

Because then he’d know the truth about what happened that summer back in 2015.

---