Page 65 of With This Ring

A loud knock rattles the door, making Jamie jump violently. He scurries over and unlocks it, stepping out of the way just as Carter rushes through. He takes me in, my rumpled shirt, my hair that’s probably wild all over my head and turns to Jamie with a murderous expression. Jamie steps back, holding his hands up.

“Nothing happened,” he says, voice trembling. “I’m the one that called.”

“He’s telling the truth, babe,” I say, my voice slurred. “He led me here so I could rest. Are you here to take me home?”

Carter stares at Jamie for another few seconds, then looks at me. The murderous expression bleeds away, replaced with concern. “Yeah, pretty baby. I’m here to take you home.”

“Good. I wanna go home.” My voice sounds so small; I barely recognize it.

An arm wrapped around my shoulder, Carter leads me out of the room. When we get to the club proper, I see Gavin and Nico waiting by the entrance. Nico shoots me a hard look, no doubt pissed that I slipped out on him for a second time. I’ll have to fucking grovel to get his forgiveness this time. But I’ll do it. Whatever it takes.

No more running.

The ride home is spent in silence, Carter holding me close. I cling to him as well, not wanting to let him go. Ever.

He helps me inside since I’m still drunk and stumbling. The stairs are difficult after the first two or three, but we make it. In our room, he sits me on the bed, bending down and taking off my shoes. He undresses me down to my underwear, then tucks me between the sheets.

“Carter, I?—”

He puts a finger to my mouth, shaking his head with sorrowful eyes. A long sigh leaves his lips before he says, “Just go to sleep, Kai.”

Turning over to my left side so he can paste himself to my back, I do what he says and go to sleep.

I’m notsure what woke me. One minute, I was asleep, the next, I’m staring up at the ceiling. The night is still, like we’re frozen in time. From how he’s breathing, I know Carter is awake too. Did we wake up at the same time or had he been awake while I slept off my drunkenness?

“You okay?” Carter asks, his face is tucked into my neck.

“No.” It’s the most honest I’ve been with him about my feelings. While Carter has been all in, saying and doing whatever he feels, I’ve held a part of myself back. I didn’t want to admit it earlier tonight, not even to myself, but what Pop always said to me affected me more than I thought.

He told me I’d always be alone. He said I’d always be a failure. He said I would never do anything to make this family proud. I brushed him off while he was saying these things, butthey burrowed deep into me, shifting something inside me that I didn’t know was off.

Then Carter came along and started shifting that piece back into place, making me whole again. The person I least expected makes me feel like a man I haven’t known for years. He’s done more for me in the few months that we’ve been married than my own father did in my entire life.

It’s still baffling that I reacted the way I did when I saw Pop’s corpse. A weight is lifted from my shoulders, but that pesky hole is still gaping in my chest. Maybe Carter can help fill that too.

His lips on my neck ground me, pulling me out of my spiral of thoughts. “What do you need?” There’s no anger in his tone. No annoyance, no irritation. Just worry. It’s so profound that it makes my heart ache.

“I need you not to leave me. I know I fucked up, running again, but I’ll do better. It won’t happen a third time. Just…don’t leave me.”

“Kaison,” he breathes, sitting up to look down at me. “I won’t say I’m not pissed that you ran away from me. I won’t say I’m not fucking livid that you left your phone and ring behind. I won’t say I wasn’t half out of my mind, thinking somehow, the Fensters found a way to take you away from me. All those things are true.” I look away, shame lighting up my chest. Carter cups my cheek and turns me back to face him. “But I wouldn’t leave you. We have a lot to talk about, especially because of Charlie’s death and how you’re dealing with it, but I understand the urge to run.”

“I’m really sorry, Carter,” I whisper in a tear drenched voice. I’ve never felt this all-consuming feeling before. Like I’ll die if he doesn’t forgive me. I’ve never been worried about losing anyone before, but the thought of Carter leaving me makes my chest constrict. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

His thumb strokes my cheek, and I lean into his touch, relishing the feeling of his hands on me. This is the shit that Carter does that lets me know he’s all in. He shows me his feelings. He gives me affection. He calls me by my pet name for everyone to hear.

I’m right there with him, wanting to show him and the world that he’s mine and we’re forever.

Carter smiles down at me, the moonlight reflecting off his even teeth. “I know you didn’t. I know why you ran. Just…Kai, don’t run fromme. You have to know I’ll always be there for you. You can talk to me about anything, and I won’t run. Not from you. We’re a team now. Anything you go through, I go through.”

I nod, unable to speak for a few moments.

Arranging himself better on the bed, Carter pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. “How are you feeling? About Charlie?”

My shoulders lift in a shrug. “I don’t know. It was fucked seeing half his face blown away. I just wish…I don’t know, that maybe angry words weren’t the last we’d spoken to each other. Pop rarely had a kind word for me, but I’ll have to live with knowing that our last conversation was him telling me I wasn’t good enough.”

Carter’s heavy sigh rumbles under my head, his chest rising and falling with the motion. “You are good enough, Kai. Always know that. Charlie was an ass and could think what he wanted, but that doesn’t mean he was right. I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you.”

My arms wrap tighter around Carter, never wanting to release him. He wraps me up just as tight, holding me together. I fear if he lets me go, I’ll rent in two. “My father is dead, Carter.”

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