Page 33 of With This Ring

Sighing, I put the cloth on the counter and pull Kai’s pants up. I can’t talk to him while his dick is out. “I figured out you were missing because I couldn’t find you when I came to apologize. I fucked up.” I meet his gaze, wanting him to know I mean what I say. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. It’s not my business. But,” I push my hand through my hair. “But Charlie is a fucking dick, and I didn’t like how he talked about you and your company.”

Kai pulls his lips in and nods slowly. “I know what my father is. And you were right. I’ve been seeking his approval for longer than I can remember. It’s a lost cause, since I won’t pretend to be a straight man and get married to a woman and have three kids and a fucking mini poodle. But it’s so deeply ingrained that I almost can’t help it.”

I hide my surprise at his admission. Kai is like me in that regard, holding on to emotions and not letting anyone see.

But I do see him. Right now, all I see is the little boy that didn’t feel loved by his dad. I can’t fathom that. All I’ve felt from Dad was affection, respect and maybe a little exasperation, but definitely love. Growing up in this life, people say love will get you killed. Dad found a way to make sure we felt loved and also prepared for the world we grew up in.

Slowly, I put my hands on his cheeks. Kai lets out a long breath, closing his eyes at my touch. “I told Charlie he no longer gets to talk to you or ask about your company. I told him he doesn’t get to have access to you. You know why?”

He opens his eyes and shakes his head. “Why?”

“Because you’re mine, Kaison. I told you when I fucked you over my desk that I own you.”

A sardonic smile crosses his face. “I thought that was just about the sex.”

I chuckle and press my forehead to his. “Me too. But you got under my skin, Kaison St. Clair-Whitlock.” I pull back and look him in the eye. “Now tell me, how are you feeling?”

“Need to brush my teeth.”

Turning him around, I hold him up while he brushes his teeth with the toothbrush I set out for him. When he rinses his mouth, I wipe his mouth with a clean cloth. “Better?”

“Can I go lie down? My head really hurts.”

“Hold on,” I tell him, not wanting to surprise him. He nods and I scoop him up, holding him close to my chest as I walk him back to bed. Fucker is heavier than he looks, but I manage to get him to bed without much effort. He sighs when I set him on the bed and adjust his pillows.

“Come lie down with me. You’re warm.”

Chuckling, I do what he asks. “You’re needy.”

He pauses for a second. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“That I’m yours. That you own me.”

I sit up and look down at him. “I never lie about my possessions.” Kai rolls his eyes, but a smile plays at his lips. “What do you want, Kai? Do you want to see how shit goes if we actually try to stop hating each other?”

He bites his lip, looking away for a moment. “I want to. But…” He looks at me, that vulnerability shining through again. “I’ve never…had a relationship. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

I shrug. “Neither do I. We can keep doing what we’re doing, fighting and fucking and that could be our relationship. It’s whatever we want to do. If you just want to fuck, that’s cool too. But I think our lives would be easier if we work together.” I don’t tell him how fucked up I was knowing I hurt him. I still can’t explain why I felt that way about someone I’ve hated for most of my life. Everything about this entire situation is doing my head in, but what am I going to do about it? I’m stuck with Kai untilone of us dies. My life would be much easier when I go out in the world every day if I didn’t have to hate Kai as well as worry about him catching a bullet.

“I guess we can play it by ear. I still don’t like you that much. Not really.”

Laughing in a hard burst, I lie down beside him, looking at the ceiling. “Well, I like you Kaison. It’s tripping me the fuck out, but I’ll admit it.”

He looks over at me, so I do the same. “You went to my company. Looked through my books. Why?”

I shrug. “I’m an accountant. I wanted to know what the fuck Charlie was talking about, then I planned to help you get your business back in the black. But you’re way in the black.”

“Yeah, I could have told you that. Pop has been angling for my company for the past two years. Initially, I was going to sign it over, hoping he could pull me out of debt, but my accountants showed me my projected growth over five years. So, I held on.”

I turn over to my side so I can really look at him. “I wanted to talk to you about something else too.”

“What?”

“Someone is stealing from you.”

“What?” he repeats, this time with anger coloring his tone. He sits up quickly, then winces as he brings a hand to the back of his head. He lies back down, tucking his knees close to his chest as he breathes through the pain.

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