Page 33 of A Wolf's Heart

I screamed out a release, knowing that it was now finally okay to let go, and then I was falling. Down. Down. Down.

The moment I had let go, the transition happened fast, and the beast was furious. Running in the dark, plowing into the walls. His howls were savage, claws breaking and bones fracturing as he went ballistic. Inside, I pulled back further, ashamed of this beast within me.

It had becomean argument that was all too common around me. Why hasn’t he shifted yet?

I stood in the arena, a scrawny prepubescent boy, as I was scrutinized by a group of adults. One of which was our alpha, Kage’s father. The other was the second-in-command, my father.

For years, my mother pleaded with them that I just needed time. That I was an intellectual, that eventually my wolf instincts would click in and I would shift. But now, at the age of ten, the feeling of failure was flung at me with every glare my father sent my way.

I wanted to please him. I wanted to be who he expected me to be, who I was destined to be—didn’t he see that?

“Your bloodline will have to step down,” Alpha said. “My son needs a second to train with him now. He is already attending the hunts. Rainor has no business on the battlefield.”

My father pursed his lips in utter disappointment as they talked over me. “I will not fail you one day more, Alpha.” Up until this point, we had tried everything in the books to make me shift. A friend being in danger and me needing to save them, being chased by a group of wolves through the woods, different diets, regiments, exercises, and nothing worked.

In my innocence, I believed my father would have a good idea. That I could trust him. That he would fix this…fix me…

The arena was cleared out, except for me, my father, and two teenage shifters in their wolf form. This didn’t scare me, I knew to hold my chin high and follow the orders, but when the orders did come, I was confused.

“Shift,” my father said.

I tried. I imagined the hair sprouting. I tried to picture what my wolf form might look like. I played visions of others shifting in my mind over and over again. I glanced up at my father with worried eyes.

He walked back to a bench and picked up a whip…that’s when my stomach sank. Still, I said nothing. The wolves stood diligently, waiting for their orders, so I figured I had to do the same, but my father was quick, his hand wrapping around my throat and lifting me.

“Father?” I tried to gasp, clawing at his hands, desperate for some air.

“I have never been so disgusted in something as I am with you right now. You are the reason the pack will fall.” He threw me to the ground and released the whip, snapping it beside my ear and causing me to jump. “Now, shift!”

I scrambled to all fours.Please, please, please…I begged my body to do what it was born to do, but nothing happened. I stared down at my hands, the sweaty humanoid imprints they made on the floor.Change!

“Attack him.” They were the words my father spoke before I realized what this was. He didn’t care if I could shift or not, not anymore. This was an execution.

The wolves snarled and lunged. I scrambled to my feet and ran, but with a crack of the whip, the leather wrapped around my ankle, causing me to fall to the ground. I screamed at the first bite from the wolf, their fangs like searing hot needles ripping through my flesh.

My father called them off and rushed up to me, claws out and ready. “Shift!” he yelled, raising his hand and smacking me in the face. “Disgrace. Disgusting. How unfortunate to have a sickly son like you.” There was no end to the assault. Over and over, his claws ripped open my skin. Now and then, he would make the wolves chase me. At times, he took pleasure in whipping me. It wasn’t until I lay in the middle of the arena floor, gasping for life, that he stopped.

Shifters were amazing healers—my bloodline, in particular—though possessed an ability to permanently harm other shifters. It’s why Weylin was scarred;, it’s why I lay on the floor, bleeding out, dying, unable to heal to save my life.

My mother’s cries filled the arena as my father cleaned his hands of me. There was nothing for me to say. I should’ve known this was about to happen. I should’ve known this would be my end. What good is a shifter that can’t shift? A human without his wolf was just a human.

My mother fell to her knees at my side, taking me in her arms. I gasped at the pain and then cried.

“Shhh, Rain. Mama’s got you, baby. Mama has you.” She rocked my limp body back and forth, and all I could think was…I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did this to us. I’m sorry I failed us. They deserved better, she deserved better.

“This is your fault. I should’ve been more selective with my mates.” My father said to my mother. Her body froze for a moment, and then she gently laid me down.

“You’re sick,” she said, getting to her feet.

My father’s hand came down against my mother’s cheek with a crack.

Let me out, a voice growled from within me. It was demonic, it was possessed, it was frightening.

“I hated you from the moment we met!” she screamed at him. His hand gripped her throat.

Let.

“Then, I’ll get rid of the burden you carry from having to be with me,” he spat.

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