I opened a drawer, found Kage’s toothbrush, and got to work brushing my teeth. By the time I spit and rinsed my mouth, Ilooked up to see Rainor standing quietly behind me once more. I put everything back as it was before he could.
Then I spun around and sat myself up on the counter. “Why are your eyes red?” I asked again.
“How did you push the beast back last night? I myself cannot do it, how did you? And the light, what caused it? How did you force us back into human form? Answer some of my questions, and I will answer yours.”
I dropped my head to the side, my brows knitting together. “I… forced you guys into human form?”
“What do you remember about last night? When we were fighting?”
I answered him honestly, curious as to what had happened because, now, I felt like it wasn’t exactly what I’d thought. “The pain from the wave was increasing, you three were fighting, and I was afraid—”
“Of getting hurt,” he finished.
“No. I was afraid of you three getting hurt. It looked like you were ready to kill one another. I just wanted it to stop.”
“So, you didn’t mentally push our wolves away in fear for yourself?”
Narrowing my eyes, I tried to pick up what he was dropping, trying to figure out what exactly he was accusing me of. “No, did I do something wrong?”
“No. In fact, had you not stepped in, we very well would have killed one another. The beast had it out for Kage. He was ready to take you and Kage interrupted him. Though I’m starting to wonder if the beast would’ve been able to continue had you told him no.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you send the beast back and bring me forward, what does it feel like?”
So much had happened in the heat of the moment, I hadn’t really thought about it. “Um. It’s like a tether. A tie, of sorts. There’s one around you, and one around him. I don’t really see the tethers, though, not in the physical sense, but I can feel their vibrations. When I called your name, it was like I picked up that tether and pulled it towards me. Does it hurt you?” I was suddenly worried.
“No. It was startling. I’ve never heard of this before. I do have one request, though.”
“I won’t do it again, if it bothers you or hurts you. I’ll leave it alone. But, last night, it happened in the heat of the moment.”
Rainor shook his head. “Do it again,” he whispered. “I have no control of the beast. If he is coming for you, or Kage, or Weylin, and only you three, please pull him back. Only you three,” he repeated.
I nodded. “And during a wave… I noticed you didn’t join last night after what happened.”
“The beast wants to claim you. I cannot safely assist in your wave with him lurking around.”
“And what we did in that room? That wouldn’t work? If he wore a mask while he was in control?”
Rainor stepped between my legs, the end of his shirt resting high on my leg, his hands resting on either side of my thighs. “He doesn’t want to just fuck you, Lila. The beast wants to rut you. He doesn’t care if you feel any pleasure—it’s all about him. He will hurt you.”
Rainor always talked of the beast as if he were some identity that he disassociated with, rejected, and wanted no connection with. The beast was his wolf, but last night, those emotions came from them both.
I reached out, running my hand along his chest, his muscles twitching under my fingertips. “Why are your eyes red?” I asked for the last time. If he didn’t answer me, I would drop it.
“Eating hearts gives you a high like no other. An instant energy boost that heals everything within your body…and out. However, the power consumed eventually hits a point where it damages your human self. The beast didn’t slow down, he has no off switch, he’s engorged himself so often that he has damaged our body. My eyes were the first. In wolf form, my eyesight is perfect. In human form, I am blind. So, he lends me his eyes to see.”
Sadness gripped my heart.
Rainor’s hands gently brushed my thighs as he pulled back. “When balance isn’t upheld, chaos, it will create,” he said before picking up his suit jacket and leaving the room.
21
LILA
Max was sitting outside by the driveway, waiting. I didn’t mean to let out a little squeal at the sight of him, it just slipped out. I hated that I hadn’t come back home first thing this morning.
“Why doesn’t she make that noise when she sees me?” Weylin grumbled.