“Yes, I told you, we talk—a lot.”
“And you still want to kiss me?”
Nolan and I, we weren’t competing anymore. Both of us were here for her, would give her anything she asked for. “Yes, I do. And, yes, Nolan knows. And, yes, it’s okay.”
She nodded, as if it all made perfect sense, but I knew that was just the weed chilling her out. It was crazy that I was completely fine with Nolan getting close to her, but if she had two of us, maybe she wouldn’t suffer through the healing process as much as I had. She shuffled closer and leaned her head against my shoulder. Threading her fingers through mine, she played with my rings, rotating them.
After a moment of peace, she said it. She finally said what I had been suspecting all along. “Lach…I don’t think I wantedhim.” She cleared her throat. “I didn’t want him. The more time I spend away from him, the more wrong it feels. He stole my body from me.”
I grasped her hand and held it against my chest, pulling her close to me. It wasn’t to comfort her; it was to ease the stabbingin my heart. It was so I could breathe better, knowing I now held her and would do anything to put that bastard in his grave. “I’ve got you.”
The more that came to light, the more that she realized what had been done to her, I would be here. I would always have her back.
She grabbed her backpack, pulling it up onto her lap. “Want some muffins?”
“Yaaaaassss!”
26
Bailey
Shit… was he looking at me again? Or was he looking at me still? Had he always been looking at me? Was still, again? Damn it, I should’ve listened to Lachlan when he said slow and low. I’d been having a good time chatting with him, after the heart-to-heart stuff, though I’d forgotten most of the random stuff we had talked about. We came up with a few new plays for the team and decided I would be fine to return to class, so we slipped into the cafeteria during lunch because Lachlan needed food and I needed to run the plays by Nolan.
I peeled my eyes off my plate, avoiding Ethan’s piercing gaze. He hadn’t removed his eyes from me, as if he were trying to figure something out. I turned to Nolan and pointed my fork at him, but the second I opened my mouth to tell him the new game plan we came up with, Ethan smacked the table.
“Are you fucking serious, Lachlan?” he growled.
Lachlan laughed, and it was at that moment I realized why he was usually so carefree in art and during lunch. Ethan had a murderous look, and it really didn’t bother me. Lachlan held up his hands. “Her body, her rules, her choice.” I would never understand how he so easily put coherent thoughts andsentences together when he was high. Most of mine felt jumbled, and I’d smoked less than half of what he did. Lachlan was like a philosopher on weed.
I turned my attention back to Nolan. “Touchdown.” It was the ending to what I had meant to say and the only word to come out. Nolan burst out laughing so hard, tears were coming from his eyes, which had me laughing until I was coughing.
“This is why you don’t do drugs,” Ethan mumbled as he pushed a bottle of water toward me.
“I’m sorry, Bails. You just looked so serious. What were you trying to say?” Nolan asked in between fits.
“Ugh.” I gave up and went back to my crispy chicken nuggets. Lachlan slid over his breadsticks, and another lightbulb went off as to why they always held breadsticks in the back for him. The guy had everything planned. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Sauce or no deal.”
With a grin, Lachlan slid over the marinara sauce.
Ethan leaned forward, whispering, “You realize, if you get caught, you’ll be kicked off the team.”
I sighed, yeah…that had crossed my mind. I just wanted to see if it would help. Ed had been in the locker room after practice, and even though he wasn’t yelling or talking to me, I felt his eyes on me, and it was enough to cause me to throw up. I just wanted to see if it would make me think more clearly, see my past as it happened and not through muddled memories. It didn’t… I wished it had. If anything, it had caused me to mourn some part inside I didn’t think I was ready to feel.
“Hit her with the real-world shit when she comes down,” Lachlan snapped, his eyes suddenly piercing Ethan.
“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t fight,” I said softly.
Lachlan’s icicle eyes softened as they swung back to me.
Ethan stood up. “Both of you are putting the whole team in jeopardy. You’re better than this, B.” He stalked out of the cafeteria, taking his food with him.
Damn it, he had to hit me with the nickname. “I should probably see if he’s okay.”
“He’s fine,” Lachlan assured me.
I could feel myself sobering up as Lachlan told our big play idea to Nolan. I didn’t hear any of it, though. Guilt filled me, causing my heart to skip beats and my stomach to flop. The look in Ethan’s eyes was sheer disappointment, and I so badly felt the need to talk to him. To ensure he was okay, that he wasn’t mad at me. Even though Ethan was sitting with us and talking to me more, even using my nickname…we still weren’t close. Not like we had been before. So, what right did I have to check on him? Who was I to think he would even want me to?
“Hey.” Lachlan took my hand and flipped it over on his lap, tracing circles in my palm. “You okay?”