Page 49 of Saving the Halfback

After a bit, Lachlan stopped tapping. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to push. Lying is…a coping mechanism.”

“It’s wrong.”

“It’s survival. If the truth hurts, why would your mind put you through that pain all over again? Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

I scoffed.

“It upset you…what Claire did to me. I could tell it upset you. I was fourteen.” I focused on navigating to Lach’s house. “You were fourteen when you met this guy. He isolated you, harmed you, made you someone you weren’t. Can you not see how upsetting that would make me? That he harmed you, and I wasn’t there to stop it… Bailey.”

Damn Sunday grandma drivers. It was a Friday night,go home!

“Bailey.”

Come on, lady, it’s a stop sign, not a traffic light. It’s not going to turn green.Finally, she made her turn, and I drove through, only doing a rolling stop as I rushed toward Lachlan’s driveway.

“Bailey, are you even listening?” Lachlan snapped.

I pulled into his driveway. “What do you want me to say? I don’t know. I’m trying to figure out what the hell happened with Chase, but that just means I have to talk abouthim. I don’t want to. That’s a boundary, okay?Heis off limits.” I turned to face Lachlan. “Did he rough me up now and then? Yeah, kind of, but he knew I was tough and could take it. He was a rough guy. He was a fucking cowboy, and they aren’t exactly known for being gentle. He said some things that cut deep, but I got it. I understood it.

“But you know what else he did? He stuck around, Lachlan. I couldn’t drive to the jailhouse to see you, and Dad was busy. Buthedrove me every time to see you, and every day you blew me off, he was there. He told me how special I was, how most people wouldn’t care about you the way I did. He told me young boys were just immature and, eventually, you would come around, and when you didn’t, he was there for me. He taught me how to barrel race. He was there when Ethan and Chase ignored me from the very first day of high school and every day after.

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t stand being yelled at—that’s a boundary. I collapse inside because, maybe, if I make myself as small as possible, I won't be a target. I can't stand the slamming of locker doors. It reminds me of the stupid garden shed outside my bedroom window, the one that slammed shut behind me and locked me in there with him. I can’t stand the fact that I lie. That I lie to myself and that I lie about—

“Damn it. I can’t. I don’t want to talk about it, feel it out, go to therapy. I just want…” I shook my head. “I just wanted to say hi to you. I just wanted to say hi to Chase because, for so long, Iwas forbidden to. I don’t want to be forbidden anymore. I want to benormal.”

Lachlan was…quiet. I was out of breath, all the words having stolen it from my lungs. In the frenzy of the moment, I wasn’t sure what I had even said, until I thought about it. Shit. I had basically said Lachlan was the reason for Ed.

Lachlan’s lips were moving ever so slightly, and it clicked that he was counting.

“Thank you for the ride.” His words were ragged, and then he left.

I jumped out of the truck. “Lach,” I called.

He stopped, his back to me as his hand rested on the front door handle. I held my breath, wondering if he would ignore me, if we were about to go back to the way things had been. But then he spun around and walked to me, his stride fast as he dropped his bag and pushed me up against the truck, his hand pressed against my cheek. Though his blue eyes were icicles, hard and cold, his touch was anything but. His body pressed against mine softly, and his hand touched my cheek tenderly.

“I promise I will no longer talk about him, but I will never forget what he has done to you. I will never forgive that I wasn’t there to stop it. But, baby, I will never allow it to happen again. If I ever find out who he is, I will end him. See my truth—it’s not a little one—I will never leave you again.”

I searched his face, his eyes, and I could see the conviction there. My body melted, a weight lifting from me, as though I could feel it being transferred to him. I collapsed into his arms, and he took me, wrapping me up while I buried my face into his chest. For the first time in a long time, I felt safe. I felt at home.

Lachlan was home.

As I pulledinto the driveway at the farm, the relief I’d experienced since the moment Lachlan drew me into his arms came crashing down. A police squad car sat by the house while my parents stood on the porch, talking to two officers. If Lachlan was the victim, had been a child, and received a year in juvie for what had happened, how much time would I get for committing murder?

19

Lachlan

Friday Evening

Icarried the cardboard box up the stairs and to the room on the left, where Nolan was waiting. When Bailey had dropped me off after school, I’d had no plans for the evening, but that was an issue. It had taken everything in me to hold back. I didn’t know why I’d pressed her up against the truck, but I knew I needed to cool down. I was either going to make her tell me the fucker’s name and where he was, so I could hunt him down and slit his throat, or I was going to kiss her.

I did the only sensible thing—I smoked a bud to calm down, then walked to Nolan’s.

“This is the last of the ones marked for your room,” I told him.

Nolan was sitting on the floor, looking at a picture with a frown. We had spent most of the evening unpacking the moving truck while his dad directed other movers to set up exercise equipment in the garage. The condo was small, only a two bedroom, and the garage was the only place large enough for all of it. No wonder Nolan was so ripped; he practically had a gym in his house.

“Hmm? Oh, thanks.” He set the framed picture on his nightstand, and my eyes caught it. Twins. Nolan…was a twin. The two boys in the picture were identical, one sporting the haircut Nolan had now, and the other had longer, shaggy hair, pushing it out of his face so he could see the camera. At first, I thought it was Nolan with the clean-cut hair, but I was wrong—it was his twin. Nolan didn’t smile like that, like prince fucking charming. No, Nolan smiled when forced and when necessary. Nolan’s real smile was small, and when he did smile big, he was awkward as hell. I only saw his real smile when we were around Bailey.

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