Screw it, my dad wasn’t here. “Sure.” I reached in and grabbed the biggest one. If I was going to cheat, why not go big or go home? The minute I took a bite, I was workinghard to suppress a moan of my own, completely understanding Lachlan’s reaction now. The brown sugar, caramelized apples, and cinnamon hit my taste buds all at once, and I was a goner.
Lachlan and I were silent as we ate our muffins. A few other players reached out for some, and when there was only one left, Lachlan snatched it away, tucking it close to him so no one would take it. I finished the last bite of mine, having savored it instead of devouring it like he had, and turned to Bailey. “So, like, is your mom married?”
“Happily.” She stuck her tongue out at me, and I laughed. So, the quiet girl wasn’t so quiet after all—go figure. I guess she’d just needed to warm up to me.
“Damn.” The first bell rang, and we collected our things, tossing our garbage. I wanted to walk Bailey to class but had no idea where she was going. She paused, almost like she didn’t know what to say to me. “See you in art?” I asked. She looked relieved that I had said something.
“See you then.” Bailey smiled and my heart sputtered. I was holding my breath as I waved to her, only letting it out when she turned away. Something about her awkwardness called out to mine.
“See you in art.” Lachlan mocked me. I lightly punched him on the shoulder, and he laughed. “Was it the muffin that sealed the deal, because I will tell you that Bailey bakes nothing like her mother. Unless she’s gotten better over the years, she makes pie taste like sweaty feet.” Lachlan wrinkled his nose.
I narrowed my eyes on him. “You’re just trying to turn me away from her.”
“Why? Are you interested?”
I shrugged. “She doesn’t have a boyfriend or anything?” I knew the answer—guys barely knew she existed in this school. I played naive with Lachlan, though.
He stepped a bit closer to me as the halls became busy with everyone heading to class. His face fell as he became serious for a moment, and I leaned forward, wanting to hear whatever he was about to say. But before he could say it, a girl I recognized from my biology class walked up and embraced him in a hug. All at once, Lachlan became stiff, holding his breath, his face going ghost white, and then he grabbed my arm. He was holding on so tight, I was sure he would leave bruises.
“Lachlan,” the girl whimpered to him, looking up into his face. “You didn’t call me all summer.” Did she not see that he looked physically pained? There was an obvious boundary she was crossing.
“Maybe there’s a reason for that.” He released my arm, grabbing hers and effectively shoving her aside. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” His words were curt, his eyes vacant, and I could feel the icy animosity rolling off him. Even though it wasn’t directed at me, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
She frowned at him. “Seriously? After last year, you still treat me like this? You really are such a dick.” She shoved at him and walked away down the crowded hall.
“Lach? You okay?” As much time as we had spent in football together, I had never seen this side of Lachlan before. He was clearly fighting something. His body shuddered as he blew out a slow breath, then his lips were moving, as if he were counting, but no sound came out.
Was he…having a panic attack?
My brother used to get panic attacks, usually right before a game. He was a huge overachiever, and sometimes, it had gotten the best of him. What had worked with my brother was compression therapy, but I wasn’t sure if Lachlan would like it, judging by how he’d reacted when that chick had hugged him.
He looked on the verge of freaking out. The hallway was loud, and I knew the sensation overload wasn’t helping the situation. Itugged at the sleeve of his shirt, careful not to touch him while I pulled him behind me, searching for an empty room. Any room would do, I just needed the chaos to cease.
I briefly looked back at him and saw in his expression that he was not there at all; his eyes were empty, and he moved wherever I pulled him like a vacant doll. His breathing told me he was about to lose it. He was no longer counting as his chest moved rapidly.
Watching as the janitor pulled a cart from a closet and headed off into the sea of students, I quickly grabbed the door before it could shut and stuffed Lachlan inside. I hoped no one had seen me do it. Darkness descended upon us as soon as the heavy door shut, and I let go of his arm and felt along the wall until I found the switch and turned the light on.
“Lachlan, can I help?” I asked him. “I used to help my brother through panic attacks. Do you want my help?”
Lachlan appeared unsure at first, but once his eyes met mine, taking me in, he nodded his head in sharp, fast movements.
The way I helped my brother was by touching him, hugging him, but I was nervous because it seemed this panic attack was brought on by that girl touching him. Before trying my brother's method, I asked Lachlan if there was something he did for this. I got no response. Instead, his lips moved again. One hundred twelve. One hundred thirteen… He said nothing out loud, but I could read the numbers he must’ve been saying in his head. His fingers twitched, his body began to shake… I was losing him.
I clasped his hands in mine and tugged him down until we were both sitting on the floor. I never took my eyes off him. My hands slipped up his arms until I held his elbows, his hands falling to my lap. “Lach.” I got his attention, keeping my voice calm, even, and low. “You are safe. You are here.” That’s what helped my brother, but maybe Lachlan needed something different. He had been counting. I nodded. “Five…” I squeezedhis elbows. “Four…” I gave another squeeze. “Three…” Another, and this time, his shaking slowed. “Two…” Squeeze. “One…” Squeeze. “Say it with me, Lach. Five…” This time, his hands came up, holding on to my elbows.
“Five.” His lips moved, but no sounds came out.
I nodded, encouraging.
“Four.” His body relaxed as his lips mimicked mine. By the fourth round, I could feel the tension leaving his arms as his voice finally whispered the numbers, and he squeezed my elbows at the same time I applied pressure to his.
Lachlan stopped counting and dropped his hands as he sat back. I pulled away, giving him space. “You okay?” I asked, since he was refusing to look at me.
“I, uh, have to go.” His voice was broken and raw. He jumped up off the floor and left the room.
Shit. I sat back, leaning against the shelf behind me, dropping my head in my hands.
My hands moved from his elbows up to the back on his neck, pulling Nick in close so our heads touched. “Look at me, Nick,” I demanded of him. His eyes, identical to mine, flashed open.