Page 29 of Saving the Halfback

“I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to bother you.” I dropped into the submissive voice I knew calmed him.

Ed’s eyes darted around, taking in his surroundings. He knew both my parents were gone and the other farm hands were out in the fields. This was a stupid time to approach him. Why couldn’t I have just left it? Continue ignoring Chase,continue pretending not having friends was exactly what I wanted.

His grip tightened, and I swallowed a whimper. “What do you need, princess?” His voice was sweet, nearly nurturing. I knew Ed loved me, and I loved him, but I wasn’t stupid. From experience, I also knew he was anythingbutnurturing.

“It’s okay, we can talk later.”

His fingers constricted, meaning I would have another bruise I’d have to cover up. My knees threatened to buckle.

“It… I wanted… I just…” I tried to talk, but as the sharp pain grew in my wrist, my breaths started coming out short and rapid. A small smile spread along his lips. He wouldn’t let up on the grip until I got out whatever I had to say, and my struggle would always keep him going. He loved it when I struggled. I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “I saw a friend today, and I thought, maybe, I could talk to them at school.” I quickly let the words fall out. They weren’t anything like what I had planned to say, but the pressure I was under had my rehearsed words fleeing from my mind without a second thought.

Anger flashed behind his eyes, and he let go.No.

“Friend? Them? It’s those boys, the ones that always came around here, trying to take you away from me.” He let go as he shoved me to the ground. Pain bloomed at my elbow and hip.

“No, sir, I promise.” I scrambled to my knees. “I haven’t talked to them in years. It’s my last year of high school, and I just wanted to talk to them, that’s it. I swear it, I don’t love them.” Could he even hear what I was saying? I was talking so fast.

“Because you love me.” His eyes were wide, his pupils constricted.

“Yes. I love you,” I repeated in my submissive tone, my body refusing to move a muscle. My mind registered the threat, but instead of a fight-or-flight response, I just froze. “I belong toyou, Ed…only you.”Please hear the desperation in my voice. I needed him to understand this. If he understood this and felt my sincerity, then my punishment wouldn’t be so harsh. There was some part of me, in the back of my mind, that was so ashamed of what I had become. But this was normal, right? This was how relationships worked. I didn’t want him to leave me too.

A muscle ticked along his jaw, and he stepped away from the fence, the bull still in the head gate.I fucked up.His hands went to his belt buckle. “Perhaps…princess. You need a reminder of who you belong to.” He unclipped the buckle, then walked forward, grabbing me by the hair, not stopping to make sure I was walking with him.

I screamed out but bit my lip, cutting the scream short. He hated it when I screamed, he wanted me to enjoy this. My feet were dragging as he pulled hard on my hair for me to follow. I scrambled to gain my footing and kept up with him as he led me to the old saddle shed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Ed, sir, I’m sorry. Please. I promise I won’t talk to them. Please, I swear, I won’t.” He twisted his hand, and I thought my hair would be ripped from my scalp, for sure. I couldn’t stop the scream this time as I cried out.

Ed opened the door, which creaked loudly, and threw me onto the dirt ground inside. He stepped into the shed, allowing the door to bang shut behind him. “It’s about time I taught you some manners.”

I closed my eyes, going numb, allowing my senses to shut off. In the distance, I could hear Marley, my dog, barking… I focused on that.

The dog’sbarking grew louder and louder, so close, I had a fleeting fear she was outside my window. I bolted up in my bed, my eyes frantically searching the room. As it normally did,the barking stopped. I took a few minutes to steady my rapid breathing before crawling out of my sweat-soaked bed.

The cold air chilled the damp clothes that clung to my body.He let me,I told myself. I had to think it, because if I thought it, I could see it. I could make the scene play out differently in my head. And if I thought it, I could believe it, and the more I believed it was the truth… the more it would become true, right? Because it had to be true. I didn’t hurt him.

I walked over to the open window in my room and pulled it shut. My eyes fell on the empty shed as it sat not far from the house. Ed was there, staring up at me and smiling as he waved. Blood poured from the top of his head, streaming down his face and covering his shirt. A sob escaped my mouth. “I’m sorry,” I gasped. “I’m so sorry.” Stumbling away from the window, I closed my eyes, backing up until I hit my bedroom door, knocking my backpack from its hook as I slid to the floor.

He would never leave me. I could never get away from him. No matter where I went, he was determined to haunt me for my crimes. Another sob escaped my throat, followed by another, and then another.

Until my eyes fell on the playbook that sat in my open backpack. Sniffling, I wiped away the tears and pulled out the playbook. “Wide Back Yellow.” I cleared my throat. “Hook and ladder: wide receiver takes the forward pass, flips back to half back, half back runs down center…yellow…” I sniffled again, tracing the play with my finger while I tried to imagine it. They were all Xs and Os, with dotted lines and solid lines showing the play. I got lost in it. Filled my mind with it, soaked up the information, allowed it to consume me until, finally, my alarm went off.

I went through the motions of getting ready, but I wasn’t really there. My mind was floating. I barely felt the floor beneath my feet as I moved about, focusing on football and goingover plays in my head. It helped keep me moving as I tried desperately to bring myself back to reality. On my way back from barn chores, I was thinking about the position I would be playing when acreeeakbang, caused me to jump out of my thoughts. My eyes swung over to the old saddle shed. It was as if it demanded my attention. I bit my lip.

The door swung open as the wind picked up again and then swung back shut.Creeeak, bang!

“Princess,” Ed called from within.

I covered my ears as I beelined for the porch.

I took a few deep breaths to settle my pounding heart and shaking limbs while I grabbed my backpack and playbook, nearly running to my truck. But he was there, staring in the rearview mirror, waiting for me.

“Miss me?” he asked, his voice almost manic.

“West Wing Wrangler,” I whispered.

“Oh, princess, I never meant to hurt you. You know that.” He laughed. “Your mind always did play tricks on you. You are my future bride. I will always love you and guide you. Guide you toward the right path. Remember?”

I ignored him as I pulled out of the driveway and toward town to pick up Lachlan.

“Are you thinking of me?” Ed asked.

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