Page 158 of Saving the Halfback

“Bailey!” Lachlan called from an open window. “Where you going?”

I looked up at him. “This one is full. I have to go to the other bus.”

“Wait.” Lachlan moved away from the window for a second and then was back. “Sam’s going to switch with you.” Relief flooded me, and I could suddenly breathe again.

I walked back to the door, and Sam was there. He held out his hand, and I slapped it, then he pulled me in for a hug, like the guys normally did when they greeted one another.

“Thanks, Sam.”

“Switch and sit in a bus full of cheerleaders? Have your sweaty jocks all you want.” He laughed, and a bit of my panic eased.

I walked onto the packed bus and down the aisle. Ethan and Nolan were together, and behind them was Chase and Lachlan. Across from Nolan was an empty seat next to Hadley.

“Sit down, everyone,” Coach called.

I sat next to Hadley, but Nolan jumped up. “Nope,” he said, grabbing my hand and spinning me around so I was sitting next to Ethan.

“Hey, Noley,” Hadley said, batting her eyelashes and biting her lip. Oh god, did I look like that when I bit my lip? I did it outof nerves, instead of trying to seduce someone. Not that Nolan was falling for it; he just looked uncomfortable.

There was a sigh behind me, and Lachlan stood up. He grabbed Nolan’s hand and pulled him up, using the same spinning maneuver so Nolan was sitting next to Chase, and Lachlan was now next to Hadley.

“Ew, freak,” Hadley said.

Perhaps it was the news I had just received, perhaps it was the panic attack that threatened in my chest, but whatever it was, it had my fists clenching and my teeth grinding. I shifted in my chair, and Ethan grabbed hold of my wrist.

“Thanks for the endearing sentiments.” Lachlan grinned at her, though there was no warmth like he held for me. Lachlan was stiff, distant, and cold. Murderous would be another way to describe him. Hadley better shut up and keep her distance.

I looked up at Ethan, who still hadn’t let go of my wrist, even when the bus started moving.

One look, that was all he needed. “Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” I lied, but of course he caught it.

Ethan let go of my wrist. “Are you hurt?”

“No.” Not yet.

“In danger?” He was scrutinizing every move I made, every twitch of a muscle.

“No.” Lie.

Ethan nodded and moved his hand, placing it on my thigh, giving it a little squeeze. With a sigh, I leaned into him, finding a way to calm my nerves.

Ethan was on his phone for a moment before Lachlan pulled out his phone. Lachlan raised his head and whistled to Nolan, indicating his phone.

“What are you doing?” I asked Ethan.

“Letting the others know to keep an eye on you.” He had his head bent, so he could talk to me without being overheard. “You’re safe, Bailey. It would be easier if you told us what was wrong, after all we’ve been through.”

He was right, I should tell them. After everything between us and after the lecture my father just gave us about communication and always talking to the family. But I couldn’t. I had a game to play, and there was no way I could let the team down and give up the one shred of my teenage self remaining. If I thought of Ed any longer, I knew it would be the end.

I leaned over in my seat and put my head against Ethan’s chest. He moved to wrap his arm around me. Through the crack in the seat, I could feel Nolan reach through and rub my back. I closed my eyes and tried my best to focus on football plays.

Nothing else mattered. Nothing in the world, except the play, because if something did matter more than the play, then obviously I would think of it. And if I thought of it, it existed, and if it existed, it happened. But nothing had happened. Ed was gone. Nothing was real except…football.

So, I pictured all the plays that involved me running, and then the ones I was catching. I ran through the plays that involved Lachlan, then I imagined Lachlan catching the ball and running touchdowns. I pictured Chase making runs while Ethan blocked him. I envisioned Ethan tackling some guy and laying him out flat while Nolan jumped over them. I pictured Chase and I stepping in for Nolan. I pictured myself being quarterback, the crowd going wild!

All was sunshine and fucking rainbows because, in all the scenarios, Ed didn’t exist. Ed wasn’t alive. Ed never happened. I was never torn from my family. I was never torn from the guys. I was still a child, an innocent fucking child just playing a goddamn game of football. No one chastised me for wearing unladylike clothing, no one picked at my hair or how I acted. Iwas just a fucking child playing a fucking game! No expectations. Just a game.

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