Page 110 of Saving the Halfback

I walked into one stall, filling the hay net, before walking back out. Ethan was there, waiting. My eyes met his dark brown ones, and I thought,could I?Could I let go of another truth? Ethan was safe, so maybe I could let go of one small truth I’d been holding in for so long.

“I’m scared to.” It came out as a whisper. I’d been so afraid to admit it to myself, but just saying it out loud was enough to liftthis massive weight off my chest. Riding had been such a strong passion of mine, and it had turned into me not even being able to touch the horses. “I’m scared ofhim,” I admitted, lowering my eyes to the ground. “He always came into the barn when I was alone. He told me what a great rider I was. He told me he could make me better, and then he would…” I didn’t realize how fast I had been breathing, how hard my heart was pumping. Just talking about it, not even anything specific, but telling him something that I’d never realized had hurt me so deeply, threw me into a panic attack.

“Bailey, look at me.” Ethan placed two large hands on my shoulders. “Look at me,” he ordered. I raised my eyes to his. “It’s not going to happen again.” His voice was low, threatening, a promise, and I desperately wanted to believe it. “Do you want to ride?”

“I miss it.”

“And if you had someone here, watching your back, would you ride?”

“It’s easier when you’re here,” I admitted. “I’m not as jumpy.”

“Well, anytime you want to ride, you can call me. Would that work? I’ll stay here in the barn, and you just do your thing.”

“Why? Why would you do that?”

Ethan dropped his hands. “Same reason you put yourself between my father and me.”

38

Chase

Sunday

The perfect day.

It was goingto be today. I thought I could leave without spending any time with them. If I could distance myself, cut off any ties, it would be easier for all of us. Part of me wished I had done it that day back at the bridge, before school had even started, but I had pushed and pushed until the deadline was imminent.

My father’s texts were getting more and more aggressive as my birthday drew closer.You’ll be nobody. You’ll have nothing. On the streets. Homeless.Though he never said it directly, I felt driven toward this being my only option.

It started off at midnight. Lachlan and I were already thrown into our game. The house all around me was silent, empty as always. The glow from my computer was my only light.

“Owned!” Lachlan shouted into the mic, talking in our private chat. I laughed. I fought alongside him as we battled a group of ravenous banshees. They were level fifties but still no match for us.

“Shit. Heal, heal, heal!”

“I got you,” he said, fixing my quickly depleting health.

“My trigger finger is cramping.”

Lachlan burst out laughing again. As the last banshee fell and the golden scepter of Ichmar was revealed, we burst out into a round of whoops andahhhh yeahs.

“That only took, what? Four hours?” I shook my head.

“Yep. All for an imaginary scepter,” he said.

“Agoldenimaginary scepter.” We wandered around for a bit. Lachlan was looking for another quest, but I figured now was the time. “Hey, Lach…we’ve been playing this game for a long time.”

There was a stretch of silence, and I could almost picture Lachlan’s mind churning as he computed what I had said. That I hadn’t called him by his gamer tag. But, really, it came as no surprise to me when he responded, as if he had known all along. “We have, Chase… When did you find out?”

I smiled. “From the beginning. I found out that they allowed some inmates to play online games as rewards, so I just kept cycling through random games until I…heard your voice.”

“All this time? Why didn’t you say something?”

I was afraid. I had lost Ethan and Bailey, and this seemed like the only way I could keep him. How did I tell him that, though? I had no hold over him. Who was I to him but an old friend? “How long have you known? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Would you believe me if I told you I was afraid?” I smiled in disbelief. Of course, Lachlan would be the one to tell me how he actually felt, instead of being like me and refusing to admit it. “When I was first put into juvie… Imagine everything being stripped from you. You are nobody. I felt like I was screaming my story, trying to tell my truth, and no one was listening. It was nice, hearing your voice. Playing this game. It was nice just to have an hour of normalcy. And when I got out, I thought I would tell you, but…everyone had changed in a year. Before I knew it, it had been three.”

“It’s crazy how people can change in a day. In an instant.”

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