Page 43 of Spring Awakening

The laundry room door opens, and Zach looks right at her. She feels like she’s been caught, but she’s not even doing anything wrong. The light from the kitchen shines behind him, keeping his face in shadow. His silhouette is dangerous. She wants to trace it with her fingers. She wants to ask him if he likes training arms or legs better, just because she wants to know something. She wants to ask him if he knows wearing a vest at the dinner table is bad etiquette. She wants to ask him what his favourite time of day is.

“Hey,” she says instead.

“Hey,” he replies. “Is the lemonade too high?”

“Oh. Probably.”

“You alright?” he asks, leaning up to grab it from the shelf. “If you’re overwhelmed or anything, we can cancel.”

“I don’t want to cancel,” she replies. She doesn’t tell him that she’s wondering how to be his friend. “I want lamb so bad, and I need to show your mum the photo from earlier.”

Zach looks concerned, but he doesn’t comment on it. He just says, “Thank you, for doing the washing.”

Mali smiles at him. “Don’t mention it.”

“I’m going to mention it,” he says, smiling.

She pushes his stomach to get him to turn around and leave, and almost snaps her fingers. “Why are you so hard?” she groans, and he laughs. She ducks her head, hoping the fact she didn’t turn the light on in here will hide the blush on her cheeks.

“Blame Frankie.”

“She’s always to blame,” she replies, realising all too late that she’s still touching him. She drops her hands. Zach opens his mouth, and she waits for his words. Will he tell her to stop touching him, or beg her to put her hands back? She’ll never know, because the doorbell rings.

Zach’s face lights up, and it makes her smile. She’s excited to see a part of him again, even if she had to force it to come out. She lets Zach greet his mum as she pours the orange juice and lemonade into a jug.

“Where’s De?”

“Oh, he’s with a friend,” Miriam replies. “This place is so cute already! You two have really made it work.” It’s Mali’s favourite thing when someone comes to her house and likes how it’s decorated, even if they’re possibly lying. (She desperately wants to replace her staircase spindles but the last quote she got was for like three grand, and what is she, minted?)

Mali doesn’t know if Miriam’s comment about the two of them was a slip of the tongue or if she has no idea who Mali and Zach are together (nothing), and it hurts deep in her chest. She feels horrible for Zach, never knowing if his mum is going to remember him when he turns up. God, Mali’s awful for wanting him to stay with her when she knows it might help if he and his mum lived together. She just wishes he’d get some time for himself. She doesn’t even know what he does with his spare time. He’s always in his room or in the kitchen on his phone, doing something. Next time he’s sitting there, she’s going to get the courage to ask him into the living room. Like a grown-up.

“But he dropped you off, right?” Zach asks, showing her into the kitchen.

“I grabbed a taxi. Hi!”

“Hi,” Mali replies, loud enough that it distracts from the way Zach’s chest drops to the ground. “Nice to see you again.”

“Oh, you too, sweetie,” Miriam says, pulling her into a hug. Zach looks like he’s about to break down, which is pretty much his standard face whenever she hears him talking to or about his brother.

“Would you like a tour?” Mali asks, then looks into the garden. “It’s not too dark, if you want to see how I’m killing every plant we own.”

“Oh, yes!” Miriam replies. “Let me grab my shoes.”

“My slides are by the back door, Ma.”

Mali waits for Miriam to put Zach’s slides on, then looks over at him. He looks conflicted, and Mali wants to help but she doesn’t know how, or even if she should.

“Zach,” she whispers, and he looks at her. “You’ve got like five minutes to decide what to do about Devon. Then we’ll just have a nice dinner, okay?”

He blinks a few times, then nods.

“See you soon.”

Miriam seems mostly impressed with the state of the garden, which brings Mali more joy than she thought, especially considering she moved in in the depths of winter and has been in the garden less than a handful of times.

“This area will bloom beautifully in summer,” Miriam states. “There’s some plants in there already, but you could add more.”

“I like peonies,” Mali replies, with a light shiver. “Will they work here?”

---