Page 60 of Finding Her Strength

I’ve got a new inventory magazine for clients, some bills to pay, and something else I don’t recognize. The white envelope is plain with only my name handwritten on the front. My stomach drops as the cream cardstock slips from the envelope.

You’ve done well for yourself, Rosemary. I should be impressed. Unfortunately for you, I’m not. You should’ve known better than to go against my rules. You will be punished for it. I can’t wait. -A

With my heart in my throat, I jump from my chair and race to the bathroom. The contents of my stomach spew out of me with such violence, my entire body quakes. Terror has drenched me in sweat as I continue to heave.

When there’s nothing left in my stomach, I sit on the tile floor, willing my heartbeat to slow.

I never thought this could happen. I did everything I could to make sure it didn’t, but it seems my efforts were futile.

He found me.

33

LEVI

My hand slides across the bed, seeking Hope’s warm body. Instead, I find cool, empty sheets. As my eyes flick open, the room is still dark, the early morning light not quite bright enough to get rid of the shadows.

I stumble out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I make my way downstairs. A few lamps are lit, guiding me into the library, where I find Hope curled up in a chair, reading a book. Her dark hair is piled on her head, her knees tucked to her chest with my T-shirt stretched across them. I couldn’t love her any more than I do right now.

“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask quietly, making Hope jump a mile. Her book falls to the floor as her hand flies to her chest. “Sorry, I thought you heard me come in.”

She heaves out a big breath while giving me a half smile. “Um, no. I had a nightmare, so I decided to come down and read.”

I step into the room, kneeling on the floor in front of her chair. “I wish you’d have woken me up.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt your sleep. You’ve got a long day ahead of you.”

“Next time, wake me up, love. I don’t mind.” I lean in for a kiss and get a small one in return. “I’ll go make some coffee.”

I walk into the kitchen, my thoughts swirling. Over the last few days, it feels as if Hope has been… regressing. She’s been a lot more closed off with her emotions, as well as startling at the smallest things, even if I try to avoid it. There’s even been a couple of moments where she’s flinched if I moved too fast, which she hasn’t done since we went to the beach.

I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she shrugs it off or changes the subject. I wish she’d be honest about what’s going on. I just want to be there for her, help her in whatever way I can. I also know I can’t push her too hard, so I’m waiting for her to come to me when she’s ready.

When the coffee is done, I take two cups upstairs, having heard Hope go up a few minutes ago. I set the cup down on the bathroom counter next to her with a kiss on her cheek, then step to my sink. We both get ready for our day, the silence continuing. It’s not awkward, but it is strained. I can feel the tension radiating off Hope. I wish I knew how to make it better for her.

I walk out of the bathroom and into the closet to throw on my work clothes. Hope comes in as I’m buttoning my jeans, a distant look on her face. Unable to help myself, I pull her into me, happy she comes willingly. Her forehead lands on my bare chest as she melts into my arms.

It’s these moments that remind me we’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out because this matters. We matter.

“When you’re ready, I’m here. I will always be here. No matter what,” I say into her hair, pressing my lips against her head. She squeezes me tight, and I soak in the moment. “I love you, Hope.”

“I love you, too, Levi.” She kisses my chest, then drops her arms to finish getting ready.

“I thoughtmy house was a mess, but you’ve got me beat, man,” I say to Benjamin Crawford, the new veterinarian in town. He bought a disaster of an old farmhouse a few miles outside of town. He doesn’t even have a working kitchen right now.

“God, I know. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it. Mainly, get out of Mom and Dad’s house, whatever it takes.”

I laugh at the pained look on his face. “A little too close for comfort?”

“I love them, but, dude, I’m a grown-ass man. Having my mother smother me every day is about to kill me.”

“I would never be able to move back in with my mom, so I can imagine. We’ll get you fixed up in a few months, then you’ll be free as a bird.”

“If only that were true,” he mumbles, running his hand through his blond hair. From what I’ve heard from the gossip hens, his move home wasn’t his idea. His dad, Dr. Charles, has had some pretty serious health stuff going on, which forced him to retire as the chief vet at the Sonoma Animal Clinic. Ben moved back home to take over the clinic for his dad, and apparently, it was not his first choice.

“Give me a little bit of time, and we’ll get you set up. Let’s look at some of the design stuff.”

He nods his head, so I lead him over to the samples I keep in the bed of my truck. We go through all the options for his kitchen since we’re starting there first. Ben’s ability to pick matching designs is comically horrible, so he ends up giving me free rein. I lay out the ones I like the best for his farmhouse, and he gives me the go-ahead.

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