Page 48 of Finding Her Strength

He jumps off the bed and saunters into the bathroom, comfortable in his nakedness. He’s magnificent in so many ways, but tonight, he’s shown me how a man is supposed to treat a woman. He’s proven there are truly good men in the world. No matter what happens in the end, I’ll be forever grateful to him for giving me that.

27

HOPE

“What do you mean, you’ve never been to a football game?” Levi asks incredulously.

“I don’t know how else to say it. I’ve never been to a game.” I glance over at him; he’s got one hand on the steering wheel, the other gently holding mine on his lap.

“Not even at your high school?”

“Nope.”

“Absolutely crazy. Football is intense here. We’ll go to a game when the season starts in the fall so you can see what I mean.”

A warm, fuzzy feeling flows through me at the thought of still being with Levi in the fall. There’s something comforting about him planning things out so far in advance when we’ve spent very little time together. I think it’s the idea of Levi wanting to still be with me in the future, even after finding out how big of a mess I can be.

We left for home an hour ago, which turned out to be a lot more difficult than I expected. I wasn’t ready to leave the beach yet, wanting to enjoy the little bubble we’d created in our cottage for a bit longer. We spent most of last night lyingin bed, going from talking about anything under the sun to feeling each other up to distraction.

It was absolute bliss to feel so comfortable spending an entire night naked and getting thoroughly ravished.

This morning, we slowly made our way downstairs, had a small breakfast, then packed up our things to go home. Levi promised he’d bring me back again, which helped make leaving a little easier. I’m not sure what awaits us back home or what our relationship will look like when we get there, but knowing he’ll be by my side gives me the confidence to handle whatever comes at me.

“I’m sure I’ll enjoy it, as long as you’re there with me, but I still think baseball is better. There was a field around the corner from the apartment I lived in when I was in high school. I’d go to the games in the evenings if I wasn’t working.”

“I played baseball in school. I wasn’t good at it, but I enjoyed it.”

“I bet you looked hot in those pants.”

Levi throws his head back and laughs while shaking his head. “Did you play a sport?”

“No. For a lot of different reasons.” I say a little more seriously.

“I don’t want to push you, but I’m ready to listen if you’re ready to talk.”

I sigh, hating how dark my life was before I moved to Sonoma. Having opened myself up to making new connections with people, I don’t want to bring the dark into the sunshine despite knowing it’s time. “My life has never been happy, Levi. Are you sure you want to ruin the view you have of me?”

“Hope, nothing is going to ruin my view of you. No matter what happened in your past, it’s still a part of you. It’s turned you into the woman I’m falling hard for, and I want toknow everything about you. Even if it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.”

Emotions swallow me up, closing off my windpipe. Levi lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles in the way I love. “Okay… you asked for it,” I say as I try to figure out where to start.

“You know my mom died giving birth to me,” I start as Levi nods his head in response. “I was given to my grandmother because my dad wasn’t in the picture at the time. She was always loving towards me, but there was very little in the way of parenting from her. She suffered from severe depression, which was compounded by the deaths of my mom and grandfather, so I learned to be self-reliant very early on. I didn’t mind because, like I said, I knew she loved me. We spent a lot of time in her garden, tending to her roses, which, of course, I loved. We had a good life.

“Then, when I was fifteen, she died. I woke up one morning, got ready for school, and when she didn’t come to say goodbye to me, I found her in bed. I’m still not sure how she died; I was too young for anyone to feel the need to tell me. A social worker came, did some digging, and managed to find my father. From that point on, my life was a living nightmare.”

Levi clears his throat, then squeezes my hand. “He was the one who hurt you? Made it difficult for you to handle physical touch?”

“He was my first experience with abuse, yes. He took a lot of his anger out on me. He didn’t want me. I was a burden to him, which he reminded me of regularly. Mostly with his fists. Never with… anything else.

“In high school, I worked at a flower shop because we didn’t have any other income. Dad was a gambler, and even when he won, the money would go straight into the next bet. If I had to guess, that was the reason he kept me instead of letting me go into foster care.”

“Did you go to college after you graduated school?”

“No, I didn’t have the money. I also couldn’t get a scholarship because my grades were horrendous. I worked so many hours to make ends meet, my schoolwork ended up coming last.”

“Jesus, Hope. You’re Wonder Woman.” He shakes his head, and I look at him like he’s crazy.

“I’m not even close to Wonder Woman. I barely kept a roof over our heads. I think the flower shop owner paid me more than was typical for a high schooler because he knew a little about my home life.”

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