Page 25 of Finding Her Strength

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” Levi groans, which makes me laugh.

If I’m being honest with myself, I didn’t call Levi because I’m afraid of my feelings for him. Ever since dinner a few nights ago, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how amazing it felt to have his arms wrapped around me. Being surrounded by Levi’s strong embrace made me feel safe for the first time in a very long time. Naturally, I freaked the frick out as soon as I got home. Despite having given myself a few days to calm down, I still couldn’t gather enough courage to call him to help me with the paintings.

I should probably thank fate for letting us cross paths again.

After I finish checking out, I grab my small paper bag and step out of the store with Levi following close behind me. “I’ll meet you at your house?” he asks, his own bag hanging from his fingers.

“Sure. See you in a minute.” Once I’m in my car, I pull out of the parking lot to head home. Driving down Main Street always makes me smile. The sidewalks have wooden awnings covering them, and timeless black lamp posts are stationed between beautiful flower boxes. One of my favorite things is how the city changes the flowers for each season. Each box isalways well maintained, which makes my flower-loving heart happy.

I pull into my driveway, opening the garage door as Levi pulls in behind me. Once I’m out of my car, my stomach starts to quiver at the thought of being in my house alone with him. It’s not like I haven’t been alone with him before, but something feels different this time.Ifeel different. The resolve I’d been holding on to so strongly seems to have evaporated with the bubbles of dishwater.

I wait for Levi to get out of his truck, his muscles flexing under his T-shirt as he lifts his toolbox out of the back. His tight jeans highlight his butt so well that I find myself wanting to give it a firm squeeze. The paper bag in my hand crinkles when my body tightens at the sight.

There have always been men I found attractive, but no one has ever made my body heat with only a flex of muscles like Levi does. I wish I had the gumption to make the first move. I don’t possess that amount of courage, though. Plus, I have no idea if he still has any desire to date me. Why would he when I’m an absolute disaster? I mean, he could have his pick of women; picking me would be a bad bet.

Levi turns around, catching me staring, and a cocky, little smirk grows on his face. I quickly turn to walk inside so he won’t see me blush. The garage door leads into the kitchen, and I set the hardware bag on the counter as Levi comes in behind me.

The three paintings I picked out lean against the wall in the kitchen where I want to hang them. Each painting is a part of a whole picture, and when they’re hung, you’ll see a full sunrise coming up over the lake here in Sonoma.

“These are great,” Levi says, walking over to the paintings. He sets his toolbox down on the floor, the tools rattling against the metal.

“Quinn painted them. I thought they were pretty fitting.”

“Definitely.” Levi smiles at me, and I have to turn awaybefore I get pulled into his magnetism again. Grabbing the kit from the bag, I hand it over so Levi can hang the paintings.

His large hand slides across mine as he takes it from me, his eyes gauging my reaction. Instead of feeling the need to pull away, a tingle races up my arm. I grit my teeth to keep from gasping at the sensation. I wish I understood this connection between us. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. My body and mind are in turmoil, pulling in two different directions.

I want to know how it would feel to touch him completely uninhibited. To kiss him with the passion I’ve only dreamed of experiencing. At the same time, I am terrified of the consequences of getting too close, of allowing a man into my life when they’ve only ever led to pain. There’s something about Levi that’s pulling me in so hard, I’m having a hard time fighting it. What would happen if I gave in?

Levi's eyes shine with an emotion I can’t read before he turns to the paintings, turning them around, then grabbing what he needs from the kit.

“Can you hold these for a second?” he asks, holding out the gold hooks. I take them from him and watch as he measures out where each painting will go. He double-checks the placement with me, then hammers the nails into the wall.

After hanging the paintings on the hooks, he steps back. They look perfect. I take a photo to send to Quinn, and she sends me the heart-eye emoji in return.

“Thank you for helping me. I would have made a mess of that.”

“I know.” Levi winks. My hand snaps out, whacking him in the arm. My eyes go wide at the move, and I freeze. Fear races through me so fast, I’m almost dizzy.

Levi chuckles as he rubs his arm. He turns to look at me, the smile dropping from his face. “Hey, what happened? Are you okay?” Concern is laced through his voice as he stepscloser to me. My brain is moving in hyperdrive, trying to predict the outcome of the moment. I don’t know how he’ll react to my brazen move. I’m frozen in place as self-preservation takes over my body.

“Hope,” Levi whispers, desperation lacing his words. His hands come up to my face, and I cringe into myself, keeping my eyes closed in preparation. The moment his soft touch runs across my cheeks, my eyes fly open in surprise. “You’re safe with me.”

His hazel eyes are full of concern as they implore me to hear his words. His thumbs rub across my cheeks, making my body relax. The adrenaline pumping through my system begins to dissipate, and I have to close my eyes as embarrassment floods me. When tears burn behind my eyelids, I grit my teeth to keep from letting them fall. I can’t believe how quickly I was triggered. He didn’t even do anything wrong. It was my own body reverting back so fast, there was no stopping it.

Levi’s lips press against my forehead, his words whispering against my skin, “I will never hurt you. Ever.” His arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling me into him. My head lands on his chest, his comforting scent surrounding me. All I can do is lean into the embrace.

It’s been so long since I’ve been held like this. So long since I’ve felt the gentle touch of someone who cares about me. It’s overwhelming. I sink further into Levi, deepening our connection. As his hands soothingly run up and down my back, a few of the shattered pieces of my soul begin to mend themselves. Even though the cracks will always remain, they’ll serve to remind me of how strong I am.

15

LEVI

My headlights illuminate the front of Max and Lucy’s little cottage as I pull into their driveway. I turn my truck off, grab the six-pack of beer I bought, and walk into the house. After so many years of friendship, knocking is sort of pointless.

The smell of food permeates the open living space, making my mouth water. I slip off my boots, then make my way into the kitchen, where Max and Lucy are moving around each other with an ease I’ve always found fascinating. It’s as if they know each other’s moves before they make them, creating this intimate interaction I will never be a part of.

“Hey, guys!”

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