Page 15 of Finding Her Strength

Her hands slow down as she sits back on her heels with a deep sigh. Then to my utter surprise, she starts laughing, too. “I can’t believe this would happen to me,” she says, dropping her head into her hands, giggles still filtering through her words.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like I saw you naked,” I tease as the image of her naked filters through my brain, her smooth, olive-toned skin glowing against my work-roughened hands. I have to clear my throat again in an attempt to remove the visual. I quickly stand, leaving the bedroom to run to the kitchen to get the tape dispenser.

Returning to the bedroom, Hope holds out her arm, and I place the tape into her hand. Once she gets the box back together, I move to help her put her clothes back into the box.

“Don’t you dare!” she says, and I freeze where I am.

“I’ve already seen them.”

“You don’t need to touch them, too.” She huffs, and I laugh.

“Fair enough.” I grab the next box and start toward the truck, leaving her to clean up her clothes. It’s probably best if I don’t see what they look like in any detail. It’s going to be hard enough to get the fantasy of a naked Hope out of my head. I don’t need any additional information to add to the vision already forming.

On my way back up the stairs, Hope passes me with a box in hand. She keeps her eyes averted from mine, and I inwardly sigh. We’re back to the distance again. I was enjoying getting to know her. The longer we talked, the more she opened up, giving me a small glimpse of the woman underneath the steely exterior.

There are only a few boxes left, and we get them loaded up quickly. When we’re back in the truck, headed to the house, silence descends, the only sounds coming from the hum of the engine. I give her a few minutes of space before Ido what I’ve been wanting to do from the moment I met her.

“Hey, Hope…” I start, waiting for her gaze to meet mine before I continue. “I want to put it out there that I am very attracted to you and would love to take you out to dinner sometime. I think we would have a blast if you’d be interested in going out with me.” When she doesn’t immediately answer, I glance over at her again.

Her eyes are wide, and her mouth is gaped open. I’m not sure if she’s surprised or freaking the fuck out, so I quickly try to follow up my statement with an out. “You don’t have to say anything right now. I just wanted you to know how I felt. I mean, I have horrible table manners, so you may not even want to be seen with me.”

I look over at her to see how much damage has been done. Her lip is pulled up at the corner as she bites the side of her thumb. Almost like she’s hiding a smile from me. She still hasn’t replied, and I let her get away with keeping silent for now. I’ll let her come to me when she’s ready.

In any other circumstance, I’d probably take her silence as a no, but there’s something about Hope. Something calling to me I’m not sure I can ignore. I want to get to know her on a deeper level. I don’t just want to sleep with this woman; I want to learn everything I can about her. What she likes and dislikes, what she wants from life. All of it.

Every time she looked at me today, I saw a longing in her eyes as if she wanted something she could never have. Each of her reactions to me was so inconsistent. She couldn’t stand for me to touch her or get close, but the attraction was shining in her eyes every time we made eye contact. She started to relax while we were by ourselves today, then immediately closed herself off after a minor incident.

She’s an intriguing puzzle. One I’m willing to do whatever it takes to figure out because I’m pretty sure her pieces are going to fit my own.

I’ve never felt something like this with anyone before. The women I’ve dated were more like a distraction than something I wanted to pursue seriously. I know it’s going to take patience to get Hope to open up to me again. I’ll need to give her space to decide if I’m worth her time, even if it goes against what I normally would want to do.

In the past, it’s taken all of a perfectly timed wink to get a woman to go out with me. Granted, the women I went out with before weren’t anything like Hope. Which means, this matters a whole hell of a lot more.

It’s all new territory for me, and I know if I mess it up, I’ll lose any chance at finding out what Hope and I could truly become.

10

HOPE

The bright sunshine warms my skin through the window, creating a feeling of utter contentment I haven’t felt since I was a child. I close my eyes to better soak in the moment as images of my grandmother and her flower garden come into my mind. A small smile pulls at the corners of my mouth at the memory. I can almost smell her roses.

God, I used to be so carefree. Running circles around my grandmother, keeping her constantly on her toes. She always hated how curious I was because she could never find me. I’d follow a butterfly across the backyard and end up under a bush, pretending a fairy family lived there.

Then one day, I woke up, and my entire life changed within hours.

I open my eyes again before I get too lost in my past, focusing back on my book. The library in Quinn’s rental house is one of the best things I’ve ever gotten to experience. Since the house came mostly furnished, the space is perfectly decorated with comfy gray reading chairs, a couch, a yellow and gray patterned rug, and an entire wall of books.

The French doors are to my right and the chairs sit across from the couch in front of the wide window. It’s the perfectplace to read, and I’m taking full advantage of the house I now get to call mine.

As the week has progressed, I’ve slowly started to feel comfortable here instead of like a guest. I need to get some decorations to make the space a little more to my tastes. Not that Quinn’s decorating is bad, it’s actually gorgeous, but I think adding things I picked out myself will make it feel more like my house instead of someone else’s.

My stomach rumbles, reminding me I haven’t eaten anything all day because I haven’t gone grocery shopping. I haven’t decided what I want to make for the week, therefore, I have no motivation to go to the store.

Walking out of the library, I take in the space around me again and feel like pinching myself for the umpteenth time since I moved in. The large gray sectional and navy blue rug in the living room invite me to cozy up for a nap, the white six-person dining room table has me wishing I had friends I could invite over for a meal, and the white cabinets, granite countertops, and silver appliances in the kitchen have me itching to create an extravagant meal.

The parties you could host here would be phenomenal, and for the first time since I moved to Sonoma, I wish I could be more outgoing and create friendships with people I would want to invite over.

For so long, I was taught to not be seen or heard. It’s hard to suddenly break out of that mold when you spent years being conditioned to expect a certain response if you slipped up.

---