Page 24 of Burn It Down

My mom said,Hijo mío, no quiero que sufras por quien amas como lo hemos hecho tu padre y yo. La gente puede ser cruel pero nosotros siempre estaremos a tu lado.

My son, I don’t want you to suffer because of who you love like your father and I have. People can be cruel, but we will always stand by your side.

Despite my parent’s acceptance, other members of our family didn’t feel the same way. My mom’s dad was probably the worst because he already resented my Caucasian father for keeping my mother in America. It didn’t take long before my abuelo was poisoning my perception of reality with statements like,La vergüenza ya está ahí. Lo mínimo que puedes hacer es asegurarte de estar en la cima. Un Mendoza se arrodilla por nadie.

The shame is already there. The least you can do is make sure you stay on top. A Mendoza gets on his knees for no one.

I’d always been taught to value my family and I watched as my parents devoted themselves to each other and put my sister and I first every time, so it was hard to reconcile the disappointment I’d caused in my grandfather simply for loving the wrong person.

Wanting to change his opinion of me and not bring shame to our family, I nodded and saidsí, señor.And because family is everything, I’ve kept my word even though it’s cost me several relationships.

Staring at the tattoo now, I whisper a promise to both my deceased mother, and my living father, who only ever wanted me to be happy, safe, and loved.

“I’ll try.”

Looks like I’ll start working on keeping that promise by making some new friends.

God, I hope they don’t suck.

I throw another Beautiful Deceit t-shirt on, grab my bag, and head for the shop.

Somehow Cassie and my dad have beaten me here, no doubt wanting to be present for an unnecessary send-off.

Jake pulls in right at nine and be still my heart, his Corvette is fucking gorgeous. Black and sleek as hell. The shine making it look like it just came out of the car wash. My fist flies to my mouth in an attempt to cover my groan, which gets significantly harder to hide when Jake steps out of the car.

Since when have white, v-neck t-shirts done it for me? Apparently, since the second I saw Jake Ellington in one of them. His short, gray swim trunks show off his quads and immediately have me thanking God for men’s current fashion trends.

He’s definitely the most relaxed I’ve ever seen him. Jake doesn’t slouch, ever — probably a byproduct of his upbringing — but standing here now without his suit to hide his muscular frame, I can’t pull my eyes away from his chest and shoulders. His shirt is untucked and loose at his stomach but as he moves, it draws tightly against his abs making them pronounced through the fabric.

Unknowingly, he’s going to keep me in my own personal hell all day long.

When I finally bring my eyes to his face, he’s wearing an easy smile and his eyes are hidden behind black sunglasses. He’s striding toward me with his hand out. Thinking we’re goingto shake hands formally, like usual, I’m prepared to clasp and release. I’mnotprepared for him to pull me in, slamming our chests together, and patting me on the back.

“Hey, Dylan.”

I am so fucked.

I swallow hard. “Uh, hey, Jake.”

He releases a breathy laugh like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Maybe he doesn’t.

“Should I just pull Joany around back?”

“Joany?” I ask, confused.

“Yeah, the car. Her name is Joan Jett but it’s faster just to call her Joan or Joany.”

“You name your cars?”

He looks at me like I just asked if he needs air to breathe. “Doesn’t everyone?”

I’m pretty sure I just fell in love with Jacob Ellington.

It takes me far too long to recover my voice.Real smooth, Dylan. Get it together before you fuck this all the way up.

“I mean, they do if they have any respect for the machine they’re driving.” I laugh, trying to relax into this different, carefree version of the man in front of me.

He slides back into the driver’s seat, still wearing a smile and I watch in awe as his right shoulder moves when he puts the manual transmission in reverse.

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