Page 95 of Burn It Down

“Cass, your brother’s on the phone.”

“I’m busy.”

She’s crying.

“Cass, he’s gonna climb through the damn phone if you don’t talk to him,” my dad says and fuck does he sound tired. I’ve been gone less than forty-eight hours. What the hell happened?

“Hi, Dyl.”

“Twin talk, Cass. I need to know what’s going on.”

She sniffles into the phone. “Carl Rogers was killed this morning.”

I grip the door handle even though I’m already sitting.Christ, first Glynda, now Carl?

“How?” It comes out as a whisper.

“Hit and run,” she cries into the phone. “There’re tire marks like the car tried to stop, but when they hit him, they just left him. Betty said he wasn’t even supposed to be there, he was just trying to get something out of the truck before they had it towed before the new owner took over.” She sniffles again and I hear her zip her bag. “Mom wouldn’t want any of us to stay here, Dyl. The shop isn’t worth it, and you know it. I’m moving out. I can’t drive down that street one more day.”

“Cass, I’ll be home within the hour. Please, don’t go anywhere yet. Home is still safe. No one has attacked our home. Don’t go to the office, but don’t leave.” At this point, I don’t even know where my sister would go, but it’s clear she’s hit her breaking point. “Cassandra Isabella Ryder, did you hear me?”

“Yeah, Dyl. I heard you.”

My dad’s voice comes back on the line. “It could’ve been you, Dyl. Or your sister. Or me. This street isn’t offering us anything but heartache anymore.”

“I’ll be home in forty-five minutes. Make sure Cassie stays put.”

It’s Jake’s turn to squeeze my thigh as I end the call.

“Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry. What the hell is going on over there? Gang violence? Drugs?” he asks.

“Hell if I know.” Losing Carl feels like losing a piece of my mom simply because he knew her. There aren’t many people still here who did. I sigh and stare out the window as the exits pass by. Jake keeps his hand on some part of me for the remainder of the drive home, but I feel numb even to his touch.

When we pull into my driveway, I lean over the console to give Jake a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

He grabs my forearm in a vice grip, halting my exit and a sense of déjà vu washes over me from when he prevented me from gettinginthe car only two days ago.

“Look, I know it feels like we’re getting hit from all sides, but from here on out, I’m onyourside. Always. Please don’t ask me to drive away and leave you to your grief. I want to help.”

I know what he means, but, “Don’t you need to talk to Cora? Or your father?”

Without answering me, he gets out of the car.

Okkkay then.

I grab my phone charger and my coffee cup, but when I go to open the car door, Jake is already there, pulling it open for me.I look up at him, climbing out slowly. He doesn’t back up to give me any room, so our chests are only an inch apart as he reaches up to cup my face with both hands the way he does when he wants to tell me something important or wants to make sure I’m paying attention.

He never makes jokes in this position.

It’s like our own version oftwin talks.

“Dylan, I love Cora. Part of me always will, but I’ve never lovedanyonethe way I’m in love with you. And right now, there’s nowhere I’d rather be than with you and your family. Cora can wait. My father can wait. The entire fucking world can wait.”

His words settle over me bringing with them a torrent of emotions. Sadness, resentment, bitterness, joy, and gratitude all cascade through my synapses.

I’m so sick of the shit that keeps knocking me off the ladder every time I try to climb.

The front door opens on my dad’s ranch-style house. Jake drops his hands from my face and steps to the side, giving me a chance to go to my dad.

---