Page 79 of Burn It Down

Door’s unlocked.

Ihave no idea how this is going to go. I’m nervous, but not as much as I think I should be. I trust Cora. I always have.

Dylan’s scent still lingers on my skin even after two showers and the gym. Perhaps it’s just in my memory, but either way, I’m drawing unbelievable strength from it this morning.

It’s a Sunday morning. Usually, I’d be on my way to the office because that’s what workaholics who love their job and have equally busy friends do, but today I’m parking outside my girlfriend’s house to have a conversation about my…boyfriend?

Justthinkingthe term makes me giddy. And then I remember that in order to be able to claim Dylan as my boyfriend, I have to break Cora’s heart first and my strength begins to waver.

Cora’s parent’s neighborhood is quiet and I definitely disturb the peace by loudly announcing my arrival when I shut my car door.

“Cor?” I yell, trying to decipher where she is as I step into her beautifully decorated foyer without bothering to knock.

“Kitchen,” she calls back.

I pass through the living room, smiling when I see trashy reality TV show reruns playing on the flatscreen.

“Coffee?” she asks.

I shake my head. “No thanks. I’ve already had several cups and been to the gym. I should probably switch to something else.”

Without asking, she opens her fridge and pours me a glass of freshly-squeezed grapefruit juice. Cora hates grapefruit, but she knows it’s my favorite. She slides the glass to me across the counter and puts the pitcher back in the fridge.

Just like me, she’s been up for a while. Her hair is in a stylish ponytail, she has glasses on — although I know they aren’t prescription — and she’s wearing a high-power pantsuit like she’s about to meet the CEO of Microsoft.

I don’t shy away from her gaze as she props her forearms on the bar and softens her eyes at me.

“How long?”

I don’t try to buy time by askinghow long what?We both know why I’m here.

“I’ve been attracted to him since the minute I saw him.”

“Were you ever going to tell me if I hadn’t caught you?”

I lick my lips to stave off the inevitable for a second longer before answering.

“No.” Her eyebrows shoot to her hairline, surprised by my honesty. “It doesn’t change anything. My family made it clear that being gay wasn’t an option for me. And regardless of my sexual orientation, Idolove you, Cora.”

She straightens up, replacing her forearms with her palms on the counter. “Maybe it doesn’t change anything for you, but it sure changes a hell of a lot for me, Jacob. And what do you meanyour family made it clear being gay wasn’t an option?”

Fuck.This was already hard enough without having to divulgethismuch truth. I swallow the bile rising in my throat and choose my words carefully.

“My father will have me removed from the company as well as revoke my inheritance if I pursue a relationship with a man,” I tell her plainly.

She reaches out and grabs my hand, skirting around the edge of the counter, and leads me through the patio doors to the couch outside on her brick pool deck.

Fall is slowly arriving and with it, such pleasant temperatures it makes being inside almost unbearable. The fountains spitting into the pool give us some background noise so the silence between our statements isn’t so deafening. Cora sits down, but keeps my hand in hers.

“What would you have done when it came time to get married?”

Goddamn I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t start lying now. “I would’ve married you.”

“Because your father was blackmailing you.”

“Because I love you and—”

“But you’re not attracted to me,” she clarifies.

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