Page 40 of Burn It Down

“Again?” he asks, quizzically.

“Yeah, after my bad joke about the nerdy firefighter thing you kind of went all robot on me and I figured I’d crossed another line since earlier I joked that I was turned on by that.”

“Are you suggesting you find me attractive?” he asks playfully, appearing unfazed as he opens the oven and pulls out a baking dish containing two seasoned chicken breasts.

I need to stop this right now.

I’m tired of having my hopes crushed. Maybe this is why so many gay guys have girls as best friends. It’s hard to stay neutral around people you’re attracted to and shit gets messy fast. I’ll give it one shot over the bow just so I can tell Cassie I did, but after that, I’m done.

“Don’t insult my intelligence, Jake. I’ve been trying like hell to play it cool all afternoon, but I know you’re not blind. I’m gay. You’re not. I’ve been fighting an erection all fucking day and you got pissed when you’re friends got too close.Now,you’re shirtless and cooking me dinner in your penthouse. So, tell me…what are we actually doing here?”

He sets the dish on a potholder, closes the oven door, and plants his hands on the counter, keeping his back to me. His head falls forward and I know I’m pushing him, but damn it, he’s been pushing me all fucking afternoon.

“I don’t know,” he answers quietly.

“Come on, man. You have to knowsomething.Is this really just an attempt to befriend me because you think I work too much? If it is, that’s cool, but can you at least do it with all your clothes on?” I go silent waiting for him to answer and am rewarded when he starts talking again. His back his still to me so I can’t read his facial expressions.

“What I know is that I enjoyed hanging out with you today. I enjoy every time I get to talk to you. Hell, I’ve been trying to invent reasons to talk to you since the day I saw you.” He exhales harshly. “And on days we don’t talk, my world feels darker.”

My sister’s words fill my mind.If Jacob is straight, I’ll eat my shoe.

Needing answers, I press forward, knowing it might cause him to shut down instead of open up, but I need more. “Do you feel that way about people often?” I take a step closer to his back.

“No.”

I hear his ragged breath and I move in another step, close enough to feel the heat radiating off his bare skin.

“Why do you feel that way about me?” I desperately want to hear him admit he’s attracted to me, but when he doesn’t answer, I switch gears and point to a framed picture on his counter of him and the woman I saw in the Audi. “Who is she?”

Finally, he spins around to face me without even looking at the picture to see who I’m talking about. He jolts slightly when he sees how close I’ve gotten. His eyes waste no time trailing the lines of my tattoo over my chest and shoulder. As if he doesn’t realize what he’s doing, he reaches his index finger forward to trace the ink on my side and I feel my abs contract in anticipation.

“Her name is Cora.” Oddly, he winces as he says her name while my skin burns under his featherlight touch.

“Your girlfriend.”

He blows out a sigh and pulls his hand back to run it through his wet hair. “It’s complicated.”

In the picture, his arms are around her waist and he’s kissing her under Christmas lights. Her hand rests over his heart and despite being in the middle of an open-mouthed French kiss, I can tell she’s smiling. At best, he might be bi, but either way, he’s still in a relationship.

“How complicated can it be, Jake?” I don’t mean to sound angry, but my emotions are all over the place. The more I realize I want this man, the more I realize I can’t have him and he’s pushing all my fucking buttons.

Without warning, Jake pushes off the counter, forcing me back with his body until I hit the wall separating the kitchen from the foyer. Our bodies are now connected from our chests to our toes and his thigh wedges between mine as he growls, “Reallyfucking complicated, Dylan.” Then he’s kissing me like his soul is on fire and I’m the only thing that can put it out.

I don’t think, I just react. My hesitation, and anger from a second ago, vanishes as his tongue fights its way inside my mouth. I kiss him back,hard, fighting for dominance as I grind my hips against his thigh, my body already begging for release again. His hand skates across my abs under the t-shirt I’mwearing, causing me to shudder under his touch for the second time today.

“Holy shit, you feel so fucking good. I’ve wanted to do this all goddamned day,” he mumbles against my lips.

My brain goes fuzzy. This doesn’t feel like the touch of a man who’s making out with someone from the same sex for the first time. This doesn’t feel like curiosity. It feels likeneed,desire, sexual deprivation.This man is starved for the affection he craves.

He moves his mouth to my neck, literally biting me and inhaling my skin. Breathing hard as his tongue lashes against my flesh, I drop my head back against the wall I’m still pinned to and tilt it to the side to give him the access he wants as he fights with my shirt.

“Get it off.Please.”

How far is he wanting to take this tonight? And what about Cora?

He’s already pushing my shirt up to my chest so I oblige and help get it off the rest of the way.

Before it even lands on the floor, his chest hits mine and his hand comes down to rub the steel rod in my sweatpants —hissweatpants — and I pull a hiss through my clenched teeth.

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