Page 14 of Burn It Down

And what a long fucking day it’s been. Work dragged on forever once I got back from Dylan’s shop and I found myself struggling to concentrate. All I kept picturing was that left arm on my console and I swear I got whiffs of his shampoo all afternoon.

Daydreams about what he would’ve done if I’d run my fingers through his hair and gripped the roots, locking him in place, filtered through my mind, distracting me from everything I should’ve been working on.

“In the kitchen!” Cora calls back, her feminine voice instantly causing my lust to abate.

We don’t live together, but she has the code to my place. Cora is six years younger than me which is probably the only reason our parents haven’t forced our marriage just yet, but every time we’re out with them now, I sense the inevitable drawing closer. With her recent uptick in interest in the same topic, I wonder if her father has been applying pressure.

Either way, I feel on-edge around her in a way I haven’t before.

It would seem Dylan’s appearance in my life is upsetting the careful balance I’ve managed over the last few years. The mask I’ve kept in place continues to grow more uncomfortable by the day.

I kiss Cora’s cheek and give her a sincere smile. “Cor, you know I don’t expect you to have dinner ready every day when I get home, right?”

“Mmhmm,” she sings, while happily dancing around the kitchen, managing a thousand burners and whatever’s in the oven. She’ll make a great wife because she loves it. She revels in traditional roles, but respects that not everyone feels the same way she does. She loves pearls and throw pillows, and having her nails done. And she’s an excellent cook.

The perfect life for Cora involves a nursery full of kids, dinners at the country club, and Christmas cards with everyone in matching outfits. It’s not a bad life, it’s just not the life for me and I’ve begun having panic attacks every time I try to imagine it.

“Why don’t you go change and I’ll have the table set when you get back?” She kisses my cheek and wraps her arms around me in a hug. Cora’s kind and empathetic to a fault and although I don’t love her the way I’m supposed to, I still buck at the thought of someone else’s ring on her finger.

She’d be so easy to take advantage of. To manipulate. To trap. Her family was wealthy prior to her dad’s election and he’ll eventually make a run for the presidency, making her a potential target to be used as a political bargaining chip.

She stands on her toes, kissing my neck, and her lips brush the cut there.

“Oh my gosh, Jacob! What happened?”

I give her the rundown, relieved just to be able to say Dylan’s name aloud.

“That’s terrible! How can people be so cruel?”

My heart pinches at her kindness, wishing, not for the first time, I could be the man she deserves.

After dinner, I clean up while Cora works on something for a silent auction she’s putting together. It’s a muscular dystrophy charity at our country club that has kept her busy over the last few weeks.

It’s a comfortable routine. While I load the dishwasher and wash my cast iron pans by hand, my mind drifts back to the drive this afternoon once more and it isn’t until Cora comes into the kitchen and rubs her hands up my back that I snap out of it.

“I’m done working,” she informs me as her hands travel to the thin brown belt on my jeans.

Immediately, I still her hand.

“I’m sorry, babe. I still have a few things I need to wrap up. Besides, I have to be at the office by six-thirty tomorrow and I need to hit the gym before that,” I tell her, trying to let her down gently. “I’ll make it up to you. Raincheck?” I just don’t have it in me to fake it tonight and my resentment of that fucking blue pill is growing exponentially.

Because I certainly don’t need it when Dylan’s around.

When Cora leaves, obviously disappointed, I can’t get rid of the crawling sensation on my skin. Knowing there’s only one person who can eradicate the feeling for me, I reach for my phone and send Dylan a text.

Jacob 8:57pm

Did Knox get everything sorted out?

My heart hammers in my chest as I wait for his answer. Thankfully, he doesn’t keep me waiting long.

Dylan 8:58pm

Yeah. Dude works fast. Doesn’t talk much though.

My laugh fills the silence in my condo. Knox reserves his words for social settings and even then, he’s more of an observer. Older than the rest of our group, he chooses his words carefully and makes sure they always count. Unlike Phoenix, who says dumb shit all the time just to hear his own voice.

Jacob 8:58pm

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