Page 106 of Burn It Down

Surely, I didn’t hear him right. I pull back, searching those blue eyes I love so much and I see him fighting to not look away from me.

“I’m not asking you to change, Dylan.” Do I want to sink into his tight ass? Hell, fucking, yes, I do. But not at the cost of extreme inner turmoil or an existential identity crisis.

“I know, but I’m trying to embrace some personal growth,” he jokes.

“And you think having my cock in your ass is the best route to take for that growth?”

“Are you trying to talk me out of it? Because if you don’t want—”

I cover his mouth with my palm, holding him to me with my other hand. “Don’t even finish that fucking sentence. Ofcourse,I want to experience this with you, but there’s alotgoing on in our lives right now. Do you really want to add processing losing your ass virginity to the mix?”

This gets a laugh from him.

“Let’s continue this conversation in the car. It’s getting cold and I think we should count our blessings that we haven’t been caught out here yet.”

“It’s just a big step,” I explain, clicking my seatbelt back into place.

He gives me the side eye. “I know how anal sex works, Jake.”

“Correction. You know howtoppingduring anal sex works, Dylan. Bottoming…well,enjoying bottoming,takes a level of knowledge and comfort with yourself that I’m not sure you have. Not to mention, a level of comfort withmethat I’m not sure one blow job — regardless of how good it was — has achieved.”

I’m trying to be honest, not discouraging, but I can tell he’s in his head, so I try again.

“Look, I want nothing more than to take this step with you and if you’re sure you’re ready, then I’m all in. I just don’t want it to be something you regret. This is a lot of first steps in one night.”

He chews on his bottom lip as he stares at the road, only visible in the beams of the headlights. His speed is controlled, well within the speed limit. His shoulders are relaxed, but his eyes are alight with excitement, like he’s a kid on Christmas Eve.

“I want to do this. I want to do this withyou. And I want to do it tonight.”

“What’s the rush, baby? I’m not going anywhere.” I rub my hand back and forth across his thigh for reassurance of my presence.

“The rush is because I’m ready. My body craves you…Icrave you…in a way I’ve never felt before. Back there, just now, I loved having you inside my mouth. Bringing you pleasure like that was a heady feeling. And now I want to try this.”

I pull my hand back to rub along my jaw, while my other adjusts my growing cock in my pants. The prospect of sinking deep inside him is overwhelming. I didn’t last long with just his mouth wrapped around me…I can’t imagine—

A low groan escapes my parted lips without my permission.

Dylan looks over and sees my hand trying to tamp down this erection. Getting hard again after just coming so violently is actually painful.

“Your cock seems on board with my plan,” he says, not trying to hide his haughty smirk.

“Yeah, well, my cock has an invested interest since your plan directly affects him.”

“You said you’d give me whatever I want,” he says seriously.

“And I meant it.”

“Well…I want this. So much is changing in my life and in some ways, it feels like I’m losing everything I know. I need to feel like I can control some of that change and I need to feel like I’m gaining something too.”

“And my cock buried in your ass will give you that control?” At this point, Iknowit will, but I keep asking questions to make sure his line of reasoning is sound. He’s fighting a lot of demons and there’s no better weapon to do that with than the truth. Breaking through cultural norms and schemas you’ve believed your whole life is no easy feat.

“Yes. While I was on my knees, I realized I’ve had it all wrong, or rather, the beliefs that were ingrained in me from a man I respected were wrong. Being the receiver doesn’t make you powerless. It makes you the greatest source of pleasure for the person you love and that is powerful.”

I understand what he means all too well and I’m so damn proud of him for arriving at this conclusion, so blowing out a deep breath, I commit to fulfilling his request.

Doing this with him tonight is a really big fucking deal and my mind is in overdrive working through a few details.

On our way back toward his house, we pass a drugstore.

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