In my head he answers her and saysI can’t seem to help myself, and then professes his love for me. In reality, he says, “It won’t happen again.”
His response has me sitting up straighter.Thisis the most frightening news out of everything I’ve heard tonight. “Do I get a say in that or is this another one of those times where someone makes my choices for me?”
“Until you have all the facts, I’ll be making them for you,” he growls, growing impatient.
“Then give them all to me!” I shout. How much more can there be?
“We don’t have them all yet!” he shouts back matching my tone and volume. Dragging a hand down his face, he turns his attention to Bea. “She’s going to have to stay here. Around the guards, on lockdown until I can get him off this island…preferably in a body bag, but even then, I can’t guarantee they won’t come after her until we know more.” He’s talking like I’m not even in the room.
“Body bag?” If I said it out loud, it’s so low that no one even registers my words. I’m mortified and I can’t tell if I actually spoke the words or simply thought them.
Bea nods. “You know she’s welcome in any of the guest rooms, I can have Jess make one up for her as soon as you say the word.”
“Do it,” Casper says solemnly. “We’re out of time.”
“So soon?” I ask, whipping my head back and forth between the two of them.
Cas’s voice is grave when he starts speaking. “We’ve already established that you don’t want to stay with Will. It’s no longer safe anyway. You can’t stay with Johanna and endanger her. That’s the first place Willem will go looking for you. This house is the best place for me to protect you. And Richard. And Bea. So, tonight, you have to go back one more time. Play nice. Act normal. Tomorrow, when he goes to work, pack your shit. Leave your ring and your phone. Send him a text message just before you walk out the door at 9a.m. that says you’re unhappy and you want out and you wish him the best. He’ll be able to trace your laptop so we’ll have to give it a new IP address before we leave. I’ll be in the vacant lot two doors down from your house at 8:50. Once you hit send, you get the hell out and don’t look back. Do you understand me?”
I nod.
“Your words, Libby. I want to hear them.”
I don’t know what makes me say it other than the authoritative tone of his voice but it feels right.
“Yes, sir.”
I’m officially terrified for the first time in my life. Everything I’ve been through has been tragic and sad and has required strength I didn’t think I had, but this? This feels impossible. Despite what I feel for Casper, and what I’ve learned about Will, I hate the idea of hurting Willem. We’ve lived two and a half years of our lives together. He was there to help guide me and support me when I had no one else. When I had to make the transition into adulthood and I floundered more than once, it was Will who told me to take my time and pick something I loved. His motives may have been corrupt, his family may be dirty, he may have blood on his hands, and I may not want to spend my life with him, butI’mstillmeand hurting people doesn’t come naturally to me, even if I haven’t been the best partner of late.
“Once I get you up here, you won’t be able to leave until I deem it to be safe. Even if we get your passport back, Will can get to you anywhere. We need to find out if he’s going to let you go or if he’s going to fight. If he fights, prepare to spend a long time on this hill.”
I look at Beatrice whose eyes of concern match Casper’s but where his jaw is clenched, she’s sporting a sad smile. “I don’t like playing jailer, but if it will keep you alive, then I’m happy to have the company.”
I nod again on autopilot this time, as I start to think about everything I need to pack tomorrow morning. Once again, I’ll be uprooting my entire life only this time everything will fit in one suitcase.
~
WHEN I LEAVE THE governor’s house, it’s 5p.m. and my hands are shaking so badly I’m afraid I’m going to accidentally drive my car off the road. The sun is still casting light across the island and the water that surrounds it. You’d never think such sinister things are moving about on this small patch of land. I try every trick I can think of to calm my mind but I’ve been a trembling mess since Casper pulled me to him in Bea’s driveway and whispered, “I’ll come for you” in my ear before tucking me in my car.
Of course my stupid hormone-addled brain is singularly focused around him and despite being in honest-to-God, life-threatening danger, I couldn’t help but wonder if his words were meant as a double entendre.
Of course not. He told Bea it wouldn’t happen again. He was just trying to reassure you.
Fighting an incredible wave of nausea as I pull up to the house. Unsurprisingly, Will isn’t home from work yet. I change into workout clothes - thinking if I need to run, they will be much easier to manage - and set to work getting dinner ready. It helps to have my hands busy.
I’m pulling chicken and roasted vegetables out of the oven when I hear the front door open and I almost drop the pan in the floor.
How in the hell am I going to make it through the night?
“Libby?” Will calls from the foyer.
“Hey Will, great timing! I’m just pulling dinner out of the oven!” My voice is too high and I’m talking too fast.
He comes around the corner and I am not prepared to see him face-to-face after everything I’ve learned today. I can’t stop the audible gasp that leaves my mouth.
“Lib? You okay? You seem kind of jumpy.” Of course he would choosenowto start paying attention.
“Yeah, sorry, I had the patio doors open earlier and a bird got in and it was a whole thing and now I’m a little frazzled.” The lies come even easier now that I feel backed into a corner.