Page 27 of Submit

As I get closer to the Von Hoff house, the thought I’ve shoved to the recesses of my mind at least three times since starting this drive finally claims me wholly:Is Casper here?

I get waved through the gate easily after a quick glance at my license. No one performs a search of the trunk of my car or requires that I give a reason for my visit. I discover that theydohave an announcement protocol, however, because Beatrice is already waving frantically as I pull into their circular driveway, a smile on her friendly face.

Nearly toppling me as she hugs me before I’m all the way out of the car, I giggle at her enthusiasm and hug her back, her long gray ponytail sticking to my clammy fingers. Thankfully I ditched the heels for this trip, otherwise her energy would have just landed us both on our asses.

“Oh, Elizabeth, I just cannot tell you how excited I am about this!” she gushes, now holding me at arm’s length.

“Please, call me Libby.” For some reason I feel myself blush. Bea has looked so put-together each time I’ve seen her and I should have chosen my outfit with more care instead of just shorts and a t-shirt.

She nods sweetly as she continues, my outfit not seeming out of place to her at all. “I’ve already reached out to Serafina to see if she could do some recon for me and see if I’m totally off the wall with this idea, or if there are others who would be interested and she said the desire to work with us is overwhelming!”

I can’t help but try to discreetly scan the area as she leads me inside to the library and begins to go over her plans. They are similar to mine but she is missing a few key strategies to make the plan effective. I’m glad to know I learnedsomethinguseful while obtaining that fancy degree after all.

When a knock sounds at the door about an hour and a half into our meeting, I can’t stop my head from snapping up or my heart from skipping a beat in hopes of seeing Casper. My disappointment must be evident on my face when it’s just the young maid bringing more tea because when she leaves, Beatrice pats my knee and gives me a knowing look. “Cas is working off site today.”

I feel my eyes widen but before I can protest, she says, “You don’t have to explain anything to me, dear. I may be getting older but sometimes a woman’s intuition is the most wonderful superpower we have. Richard and I have known Cas a long time and never once have I known him to speak out like he did the night you all left. He was concerned for you. I could see it in his eyes and I could feel it radiating off of him in waves. Not to mention, once I caught on, I saw how your eyes were drawn to each other all night.”

I’m shocked and conflicted at her admission. I’m engaged to Will. At least I think I am. We seem unable to get out of this rut we’re in, but even still, I’m definitely notavailable.

Tell that to your heart…and the ache between your legs.

I feel my cheeks flame with embarrassment and shame as she continues, “Cas has a bit of a dark past but he’s a good man and I trust him with my life. Literally, every day. I would love to see him find happiness, but I appreciate that your situation is a little complicated.”

I already know that Casper is trustworthy. As crazy as it sounds, I can justtell.

Talk about having a gut feeling.

But there is no denying that he’s also very mysterious, so it’s nice to hear someone else confirm my thoughts. Especially, this kind woman who has a quiet wisdom that permeates through her words and demeanor.

“I don’t know what to say,” I admit sheepishly as I continue twisting my fingers in my lap. I’m afraid I’m going to rub my knuckles raw before I leave. Deciding my options are limited, I take a leap of faith and I say it all because I’m down here on this island with so few people in my corner while my life with Will falls apart. “I met Casper when I started kitesurfing lessons a few weeks ago. He’s broody but in a lovable way, I guess. Our paths keep crossing and the more they cross, the more I want them to.” It feels good to admit it out loud.

“My mother always used to tell me, ‘Never burn a bridge unless you’re 100% sure you’ll never have to cross it again and since we can’t predict the future, it’s best not to burn them at all.’”

She chuckles softly when I look at her confused, wondering how that relates, and then she explains, “Cas is a force to be reckoned with and it’s safe to say that he’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants. He’s the most determined man I know, including my husband, and that’s saying something. The point is, I think he wantsyou,dear. Maybe give him a wide berth until you figure things out with Mr. Van Den Tweel just in case you need that particular bridge in the future.”

Well, shit. She hit the nail on the head there, didn’t she?

Although her warning to proceed with caution is taken seriously, I can’t help the spread of warmth filling me up at the fact that she thinks Casper wants me. However, it’s not lost on me that she didn’t clarify forwhator forhow long.

She must be able to tell that my mind has taken a nose dive straight down a rabbit hole, but before she tries to get me back on track, she says something I’ll think about for the next two days. “Casper hasn’t opened up in eighteen years, Libby. Richard and I are the closest thing he has to family because he doesn’t put himself out there. I know his past, so I understand, but don’t lead him on if you don’t intend to follow through. I’m afraid he’d never recover. I was beginning to lose hope that he’d ever even come this far. It’s cruel that when he finally connects with someone, they’re already committed to someone else.” She looks lost in thought as she muses out loud.

No pressure or anything.

Eleven

FRIDAY NIGHT AT DINNER, Will and I eat at the table mostly in silence. He has his iPad with him as he scrolls through even more documents and fields a call from Marcel. He leaves the table to take the call and answers in Dutch, which speaks volumes.

He doesn’t come back to the table for twenty minutes. In that time, I’ve decided that I need some space to sort through my thoughts. I’m a visitor in this country and right now my fate - not to mention my passport - is in the hands of Will and Marcel.

It’s time I get them both back.

Will offers no explanation for the abrupt departure or the reason for the call when he returns, so I take the opportunity to put a plan in place. Uncomfortable with lying, but running out of options, I say a quick prayer that it doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass.

“Will, Johanna is having Alida and Elke over for kind of like a grown-up slumber party tomorrow night and they invited me over as well. You remember the girls from the gym? I’d like to go.”

He shrugs his shoulders, his eyes never meeting mine. “Sure. You could always invite them here. We have plenty of space and I guarantee our view is better.”

Is he even aware how arrogant and entitled he’s become? Has he always been like this but I overlooked it because I was in love?

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