Page 26 of Submit

Or maybe he’s dirty. But why would Casper be protecting him if that was the case? And I definitely don’t get that vibe.

Let’s not forget the part where Casper complimented me. And let’sdefinitely notforget the part where he admitted that he wanted to do “more” than compliment me. I don’t know what “more” means exactly, but he can do it all. For the foreseeable future, every time I close my eyes, I will see Casper in the shower, one hand braced on a glass door and the other wrapped around himself. That knowledge awakened a part of me that has been dormant for quite some time and as bad as I should feel about thinking it, I can’t seem to help how my body responds to Casper’s touch.

His words.

Him.

I can see it in his eyes and hear the anguish in his voice when he lowers his guard just enough to allow me to peer over the edge. There’s so much more to him and I intend to find out all there is to know. But first, I should probably focus on the secrets my own fiancé is hiding.

When I return from the “restroom”, I’m restless and my hands shake as I set my tea cup back on the saucer. I see Beatrice flash me a look but thankfully she doesn’t comment on it when I give her a reassuring smile.

Before we leave, she and I make plans to meet again this week to work on our new collaborative project through the CAC - Cultural Arts Center.

Unfortunately, I don’t see Casper again until we’re headed out the front door. It’s dark but the front of the house has plenty of security lights which allow me to see Casper’s jaw clenched tightly and his eyes narrow as Will’s hand grazes my exposed lower back, guiding me to the car.

Casper shakes his head and closes his eyes like he can’t believe what he’s about to do as he steps forward, gravel crunching under his boots. His voice is loud and clear as well as extremely commanding when he says, “Gentlemen, are you both sober enough to drive?”

Marcel looks at the governor and raises an eyebrow, his tone condescending. “Your hired help always interrogate your guests, Governor?” He gives the governor a slimy smile. I’d say he probablyhashad too much to drink because he seems to be forgetting that he’s supposed to be schmoozing this man, not insulting his staff.

Casper speaks before the governor has a chance. “I’m not hiredhelp. I’m head of his security detail, which would do you well to remember, and if you get into an accident after leaving the governor’s home drunk, that’s a problem for me. Not to mention your passengers.”

“Stand down, Cas. These gentlemen are fine.” The governor gives Casper a pleading look. It’s not lost on me that he calls him Cas instead of Casper. I wonder if they’re close.

The two men stare each other down for what feels like a very long time while everyone else stands waiting for the all-clear to get in their cars.

Finally, Casper nods, his eyes on mine and never leaving. “Be careful,” he warns again. I don’t think he’s talking about the car ride home. A small shiver escapes, causing my shoulders to shake.

Will notices and takes it as his cue to get me home. “Mr. Governor, thank you for a wonderful evening, Mrs. Von Hoff, dinner was lovely. I’ll be in touch.” As he slides into the driver’s seat of the used Land Rover we bought when we got here, I follow suit and buckle my seatbelt, shifting my attention back out the window. I give a wave to Beatrice, already looking forward to our plans on Thursday and then allow my eyes to slip to Casper. He looks unhappy at having to watch me drive out of the gate with Will. He nods at me once before disappearing back inside the house while two statuesque guards remain out front.

Not wanting Will to perseverate on Casperat all, I try to engage about the rest of the evening. “How did it go with the governor? Did you guys get what you wanted?”

Thankfully, Will is just buzzed enough to be a little chatty. “Something seems to be holding him back and I don’t know what it is. It’s got to be more than the reelection because quite frankly, he didn’t seem all that excited about keeping the office. He’s held it for quite a while and he isn’t getting any younger. But hedidsay that he would move this thing forward quickly if we were willing to build away from the coastline.”

“But, they’re wind mills, isn’t the wind the strongest on the coastline as it comes directly off the water?” My curiosity here is genuine.

“Yes, but the money is in the contract to build. If the mills don’t produce that much power inland, it doesn’t really matter because I get paid as long as they go up. Hell, I’ll build them underground if they want me to.”

“Will, that’s terrible!” I know it’s the wrong thing to say, especially with so much conviction behind my voice, but it’s out before I can stop it.

“We came here for the money, Elizabeth.”Speak for yourself.“The only way we get that money is if the wind farm is built. The plan was always to give the energy to the people and we would just get a cut of the revenue but no one gets anything if the damn things don’t go up! So, if we have to build in-land, they screw themselves, but we still get the money. If they want to be so damn hard headed about their coastline then let them.”

“Don’tElizabethme, Willem. I’m not an idiot or a child. I know how much money is on the line, I just don’t think it’s right to agree to build the wind farm if they don’t want it and it’s especially not right to knowingly build it in a subpar location just to take their money! Whoareyou anymore?” I’m close to tears with how angry I am at him. “Will, I barely even recognize you these days. There’s more distance between us now than when we arrived…and there was already an unbearable amount of space between us. Now, I’m supposed to be planning this wedding but I don’t even feel like youlikeme, let alone want to get married and tie yourself to me forever.”

It’s unfair wording. I don’t want to tie myself to him either, but it’s the easiest way to throw the shot over the bough. The first step into starting the conversation that will end with the dissolution of our relationship.

He looks stunned for a half a second before the emotion is gone from his face. “Lib, how can you say that? I brought you down here with me because I want to start a life with you. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t mean it.”

I see his lips form the words but I don’t hear any trace of conviction or emotion in his voice. In fact, he looks like he’s sneering as they tumble from his mouth.

~

WE HARDLY SPEAK THE rest of the night and fall asleep facing away from each other instead of curled up with intertwined limbs like usual…well, like we used to. It’s a strange feeling lying in bed next to Willem and thinking about Casper’s thumb on my lip.

For the next couple of days, I wait for the other shoe to drop and for Willem to tell me this isn’t working and to pack my bags after our argument in the car, but the problem now is that I’m already invested in this community. I have friends I’m getting to know, a gym routine I love, I’m enrolled in classes. Hell, I’ve made plans with the governor’s wife! The project we have come up with isexactlywhat I want to be doing with my marketing degree and I’m finally starting to feel like things are coming together. The only problem is that Will isn’t involved in any of these aspects of my new life and I no longer want him to be.

Thursday morning, I’m bouncing on the balls of my feet as I leave the CAC, excited to get showered and changed and head to meet Beatrice. I’ve spent the last few days creating a marketing plan for any items the craftspeople may make - i.e. have you ever seen a hand woven basket from Morocco, Ghana, or South Africa? They areincredibleand easily worth two hundred bucks. If we could get that money into the hands of the creator, it would allow them to expand their own business… and that’s where I come in.

In case marketable crafts aren’t their thing, I’ve also put together some ideas for advertising and promoting local business owners: hairdressers, seamstresses, taxi companies, car maintenance companies, etc…

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