Page 33 of Reign

Libby/Daniella/Isabel

IF YOU’D ONCE TOLD ME that I’d be attracted to known killers and members of the actual mafia, I’d have called you a liar. If you’d told me I would one day find myself lustingfantasticallyover the man who murdered my parents while simultaneously being in love with a member of the worst drug cartel in the world, I would have had you committed.

But today, both of those statements ring true.

It seems multiple things have happened to me over the last few days. The first is that I’ve accepted that my life is - and most likely has always been – more complicated than I ever knew. I may always be on the run, but I can handle it. And I’ll fight back.

The second is that I let go of the hatred and jealousy I had for Camila. I can’t say I would have acted the same way if I had been in her shoes… but, maybe. Loving Cas is so powerful, I can see how someone could get desperate to get him back or keep him. Truth be told, my hatred hurts me more than her anyway.

And lastly, I’ve finally allowed myself to believe that Cas wantsme. He’s told me as much multiple times and maybe I just needed to hear it from Camila, but I finally believe it’s true.

As I’ve embarked on this journey of self-discovery, Nikita just put the last piece of my puzzle in place. He’s hot. More than. He’s lethal to all of my senses. Like Edward Cullen from Twilight. Everything about him draws you in and you won’t even realize it until it’s too late. But when he touched me, it felt all wrong. Oh, the calculated move was hot. And if Cas wasn’t in my life, perhaps I would entertain him, but Casisin my life and I wasn’t happy with another man’s hands on me.

I smile at my revelations and at the fact that I have to nudge Camila with my elbow to bring her back to earth as the guys walk into the house. Joelle’s soft laughter draws both of our attention and Camila seems to remember that she’s practically drooling on Nikita’s sister’s pool deck. Her cheeks flame pink – undoubtedly the first time I’ve ever seen Camila embarrassed – and she brings her hand up to her mouth.

“I take it he’s, uh, like that with everyone?” she asks, the hope in her voice loud and clear.

God, for her sake, I hope the answer is no.

“No, he doesn’t usually go around shoving his tongue down the throat of women he just met.” She takes on a teasing tone, “Not that they don’t beg for him too, of course.” She pauses before adding, “I would apologize for him, but you didn’t seem to mind.” Her voice is kind. Not accusing or angry.

“I definitely did not,” Camila agrees, lowering her eyes and trying to hide her smile.

Cas stayed at Joelle’s with Nikita to work through the details of murder and although all three of us women offered to help, we were once again put in the proverbial safe house. I swear, Cas is going to kill me with his insistence of locking me away in the ivory tower.

After three bottles of champagne and an afternoon of catching up and getting acquainted, Camila and I head back to our house, no sign of Cas. Camila’s still giddy from the interaction with Nikita and wants to replay it like we’re in high school.

I’m here for her as the champagne keeps her tongue loose.

Using the code on the first garage bay, we let ourselves inside the house. The towel wrapped around my waist isn’t enough to keep me warm as the cold air blasts my wet suit.

“Fuck! It’s freezing in here!”

Camila pulls me by the hand up the stairs, seemingly unaware that until recently we were dire enemies. “Come on! Let’s get into dry clothes and I want to knowexactlywhat his face looked like when he was kissing me. My eyes had rolled back in my head so you have to paint a vivid picture for me, okay?”

I laugh for the hundredth time today and it feels good. At some point, I had tucked myself away in another shell without realizing it. This one different because it was self-imposed, yet also the same as the first one that imprisoned me because it prevented me from growing or seeing my surroundings clearly.

“He was totally into you,” I start, telling her what I know she wants to hear. But also, it was true. Nikita only touched me to fuck with Cas. I’d had too much champagne to care then, but as my buzz has started to wear off, I know it’s true.

She strips her tankini top over her head with no warning and I suck in a harsh breath.

She giggles. “They’re just boobs!” she says even though her back is to me.

“Camila, what happened to your back?” Faded white scars stretch across her tan South American skin.

“Oh, those,” she says quietly, sounding like she just sobered up quickly. “It was a long time ago,” she whispers as she avoids giving me a real answer.

I’m torn. Everything in me wants to askwhatwas a long time ago, but she’s already shutting down and we’ve had such a good day so I change topics quickly, choosing to let it lie for now.

“Noted. Alright, tuck your boobs away while I go get dressed. I’m starving. I’ll meet you downstairs in ten minutes.”

She flashes me athank yousmile and nods as I turn to go down the hall to my room. I pass by the master bedroom and can’t stop myself from going in. I bury my face in Cas’s pillow and inhale deeply. I miss him. I want nothing more than to share this room with him and get lost in his scent all around me but now another issue plagues me. As I’ve started to hate Camila less, I’m more aware of shoving Cas’s love for me in her face. Especially in light of the part of Camila’s past that has left literal scars. Her life hasn’t been easy and outside of her love for Cas, I don’t know anything about her.

I look around Cas’s room and see his joggers thrown over the arm of a chair in the corner, and the empty bookbag – the only thing he carried to this country – is slumped over at the foot of the same chair. Since this is the master suite, the views out of the window are breathtaking. He can see far out into the ocean from here and his balcony looks divine.

Realizing I’ve spent most of my ten minutes in here, I scurry down the hallway, thankful I’ve stopped dripping water and throw on a simple gray t-shirt and black shorts.

As I descend the staircase to meet Camila in the kitchen, I hear a male voice that sounds familiar but isn’t Cas. I pick up my pace not wanting her to be alone.

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