Page 22 of Defy

“Sofineyou’re a walking zombie until you’re next hit? I don’t think so, Irina.”

I see Libby’s face fall and realize we never discussed Irina and I’s sibling-type relationship or the fact that I’ve never fucked her. I can’t do it here in front of Luis so thinking on the fly, I gruffly ask Libby to grab a bowl, an ice pack, three towels, and a washcloth and bring them to my room.

The look of hatred she flashes me is unmistakable and I hear Luis chuckle. Before he walks away, he says, “Libby, my offer stands. Anytime. Any place. Preferably within Dominic’s line of sight though.” At the low rumble in my chest, he turns his reptilian eyes on me. “Make sure you’re free tomorrow night, brother. You’ve got a job to do now, remember?”

He’s eating this up for now, but we’ll see how much he likes it when I return the favor and rip his world apart.

Nine

BY THE TIME THE NEXT morning rolls around, I haven’t slept at all. Irina went back and forth between trying to punch me, bite me, and kick me, to crying and apologizing, to asking me to kill her because she didn’t want to live anymore. I’m unsure if it was all due to the withdrawal or just her regular cycle of emotions since I know she was unhappy.

When Libby brought the items I’d requested, I’d asked her to come in and tried to explain about Irina and I. During one of her violent outbursts, Irina’s backhand caught Libby on the cheek and I’d decided it was no longer safe for Libby to be in the room with us but she wouldn’t leave. She tried to soothe Irina’s temper and keep her talking which did seem to help a little and my heart was so full for her.

I’ve never met someone as wonderfully dichotomous as Libby. She’s as much a warrior as she is a lover. As much a sinner as she is a saint.

I’ve never seen opposites blend so beautifully because they are often at war within myself, never blending at all. I frequently wish I could pick a road and stick to it, fully giving myself over to the role of demon or angel. Now, I feel myself trying to blend back in with my old self while fighting desperately to hold on to the version of myself that Libby started to fall for. She gives me hope that I too can blend the elements needed – both good and bad - to create what we both are:survivors.

Somewhere around 3a.m., the girls fall asleep. I put Libby in my bed – selfishly wanting it to smell like her - and cradle Irina in my arms figuring she’s the one who needed the most protection and comfort at the moment.

Libby stirs first.

“Dominic!” she cries, panicking before her eyes even open, making me wonder if she’s having a dream.

“Lib. Shh, it’s okay. I’m over here on the floor with Irina.”

She sits up and rubs her eyes before offering me a small smile. “I was dreaming that Luis took you away on the boat and left me behind.” She gets a shy look on her face before she continues. “As crazy as everything is here, I’m glad I’m with you,” she admits, her voice still full of sleep.

“Me too, Lib.”

She sits up in the bed, the sheet falling around her. She’s dressed in the same blouse and slacks she had on last night. I offered her a t-shirt but she was too afraid of getting caught in an inexplicable situation. “I feel differently about her than I do about Camila,” Libby says, nodding at Irina. “I want her to get clean and have a better life. It doesn’t bother measmuch to see you holding her,” she admits.

Irina shifts in my arms but doesn’t wake so I whisper over her head, “You know you’re the one I want, Libby. When we get out of here, I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving it.”

“You don’t have to prove anything, Dom. I can feel it.”

Irina’s fingers involuntarily flex in my arm and then relax again. When I look back at Libby, she’s creeping toward the door. “I’d better go change and find your mother and see what she wants me to do today before she comes looking for me. I’m sure me being in here wouldn’t make her very happy.”

I nod. This would most definitelynotmake my mother happy.

With that, she slips out the door and I shift on the floor, finally waking Irina, so that blood can circulate back in my feet.

~

SUPPOSEDLY TONIGHT IS a laid-back night out with Luis. More educational than physically working. I’ve committed the name of every member of the security team to memory. A few I recognize from the ordeal in Aruba, but most of them are new.

I asked Diego to keep an eye on Irina for me, which he did without hesitation. She and I had a long talk this morning and I think with the promises I made, she truly wants to get clean.

Let’s hope I can deliver.

Luis knocks on my door to collect me at eight o’clock. “You clean up well, hermano,” he says as he gives me a once-over in the uniform I knew I would eventually have to wear.

His tone is light but the jealousy behind his words is evident in the way his teeth are clenched and I keep a smile to myself.

Over the last couple of days, I’ve continued working on a plan but the details are still fuzzy, hanging out on the periphery of my conscious mind, waiting to be solidified as I gather information. The main point is that for step one, I need to completely erase Luis’ credibility as a leader. Only then, can I present myself as a viable, logical, and perfect solution as to who will fill his role as the next in line when my parents step down. Of course, that also means convincing them that I plan to stay here.

If Luis starts to lash out at me while I’m on my best behavior, I hope it will undermine his ability to keep his cool during tense and stressful situations…which this family is about to endure a lot of.

“Not so bad yourself, hermanito,” I reply, keeping the tone jovial, but reminding him in the term of endearment I chose, that he will always be second to me. He does well and keeps his mouth shut but I see the bitterness flare in his eyes at my pointed use of the termlittlebrother.

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