Page 33 of The Alpha's Rejected Arranged Mate

Finn winced at the mention of his mother. He hesitated but finally sighed. “This isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to be Alpha and never wanted to be in a position where I was in charge of others.”

Derek quirked one eyebrow. “Coulda fooled me, the way you’ve always taken charge when it came to Christine and me.”

“You’re my friends. It’s different. This? Leading a pack?” Finn gestured at the buildings around them. “I’m not sure this is sustainable.”

“You mean being Alpha?” Derek asked.

Finn scowled but nodded. “What else would I be talking about?”

Derek opened his mouth, a glint in his eye.

“If you’re going to comment on my sex life, don’t,” Finn warned.

Derek closed his mouth again.

“I don’t have time for self-doubt,” Finn continued, starting to walk again. “There’s too much to do; a demon will sniff out any weakness. I just have to get over myself.”

“For what it’s worth, I’ve always thought you had an Alpha’s aura around you,” Derek said, his voice soft and supportive. “You didn’t lead our little friend group just because you’re the oldest. And remember what your records said? You were always mediating disagreements on the playground before the adults even knew what was happening. This is natural to you, Finn. It’s just your lack of self-confidence that’s made you keep to the shadows. You could have led your own team, just like Hayden.”

Finn pictured Hayden. He was always so certain of himself that it was hard not to stand in awed jealousy. “I’m nothing like Hayden.”

Derek shrugged. “Doesn’t mean you aren’t alpha material. But we both know that me giving you a pep talk won’t actually help you. However, I have one piece of advice. Just tell Elin how you feel about her.”

“I don’t—”

“You do,” Derek said flatly. “And she deserves to know the truth.”

***

Before Finn left with his selected warriors, he stopped by the clinic where Elin was. She was wrapping bandages, adistracted look on her face. He winced to see her so worried. He sat next to her, breathing in her scent. Somehow, it seemed even stronger and sweeter now when he was off to fight demons.

“We’ll be heading out within the hour,” Finn said. “I don’t expect we’ll be back for a few days unless something terrible happens.”

“Then I hope you won’t be back for a few days,” Elin answered cheekily, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Do you have everything ready?” Finn asked, oddly reluctant to leave her.

Elin glanced around at the supplies they had gathered. “I think so. I’ll do my best to keep the town running and everyone calm until you and the others return.”

“Good.” Finn touched her cheek. His wolf rumbled at the thought of leaving her. It would rather stay here, stay close. However, the best way to protect Elin was to eliminate the threat. He leaned forward, knowing he should keep to firmer boundaries—but if things went wrong on this mission, he didn’t want to leave her with nothing but heartache.

He kissed her, his wolf howling in delight. Funny how it reacted the same time every time, as though they were in a famine and he was standing in the first rainfall in years. His wolf seemed even more eager this time, though. It was as though something had changed. Shifted. What was it?

He drew back slightly, and Derek’s words rang through his mind.Tell her how you feel.

But how did he explain it? How did he tell her his day was better just by hearing her voice? That he craved her presence so much it scared him? That when he was with her, all his determination to never take a mate and never be a fatherwavered? She made him believe it was possible. Oh, he would never get her pregnant; that was too much of a risk. He’d need to redouble his efforts to find a doctor who would give him a permanent vasectomy to ensure he’d never kill Elin through childbirth.

Adoption, though… There were kids who needed a family. Could he and Elin create a home for kids who didn’t have anything else? It had never been a possibility, but somehow, the idea had taken root in his heart. He wanted so badly to have Elin as his mate and to have a family with her. Even though he knew it was grossly unfair to her.

He couldn’t tell her any of this. Just because he wanted it didn’t mean he could have it.

He shied back from the strength of his own emotions. He broke the kiss and straightened. “We’ll be back when we’re done. Stay safe.”

And with that, he turned and walked away, even though his wolf howled for him to go back to their mate.

***

Two days later, Finn and his team had destroyed four beast-demon nests, taken down two of the animals themselves, and found a rogue camp. One of them was the woman who had been at the orphanage that day. The rogues had a lingering demonic influence on them, but all had thrown themselves at Finn’s feet and begged for the change to swear allegiance to the Moon Lake pack.

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