Page 31 of The Alpha's Rejected Arranged Mate

“I love the way you look at me,” Elin told him as he ran a hand up his thigh.

Then, she was a bit too occupied for words. His fingers were wickedly good as he found her clit. Her back arched, and she let out a throaty moan. A tightness built inside her, aching to be filled. It was good—wonderful even—but it was hard to keep patient. She wanted him close. Wanted his body pressed to hers, wanted to feel the warmth of his skin and the beating of his heart.

“Finn, please,” she whimpered. “I need you closer.”

Finn grunted. Elin looked up at him through eyes at half-mast. She was pleased to see that he was hardening again. With his free hand, he reached to the nightstand and pulled out a condom. Elin held out a hand.

“Let me.”

She could barely keep her hand steady as Finn continued to stroke her, keeping her arousal just high enough. She openedthe condom, tossed aside the wrapper, and slid it onto her mate. As soon as it was on, Finn’s hand came away. He braced himself above her, their mouths clashing. He sunk into her with a groan. The feeling of him nearly sent her over the edge right there.

They moved together, a perfect rhythm that had them both panting and aching. Finn’s hands cupped into her hair, bringing her closer while Elin’s arms slid around his waist. She grasped his ass in both hands, urging him to go deeper with every thrust. The pleasure swept through her, blinding her to everything but the need to be here with him right now.

After they were both spent, Finn tied the condom and threw it in the trash. The two lay in each other’s arms. Satisfaction hummed through Elin’s body. Not just the aftereffects of the pleasure but from the lingering closeness.

“I love sleeping in the same bed as you,” she murmured sleepily into his chest. “I never realized how alone I felt until I woke up, and I wasn’t alone.”

Finn’s fingers combed through her hair. The sudden tensing of his muscles made Elin look up in confusion. What had she said?

“I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want and need from life,” he whispered.

Elin bit back a sigh. The moment was ruined. How was she meant to convince him that he was enough if he wouldn’t let her linger in the moment? “It’s not your fault you don’t want children.”

“That’s just the thing, Elin. It’s not that I don’t want children. Not really. I do want kids. I decided long ago that I couldn’t risk getting a woman pregnant, and now, knowing what happened to my… to Beth, it’s even more important.” He let outa shuddering sigh. “But even with other options—adopting, for one—I just… can’t risk it.”

“Why?” Elin asked, startled. Not wanting kids and deciding not to have them for other reasons was very difficult.

Finn shrugged, not meeting her eyes. “I don’t have the temperament to be a good father. It’s not easy, Elin. Coming to this decision took a long time.”

Elin pushed herself up to her elbow, frowning. “I don’t understand. How can you think you’d be a bad father? You’re so gentle and kind. I’ve seen you help Mica with Denzel. You’re wonderful with him. Not that I’m trying to change your mind,” she added quickly as Finn’s blue eyes darkened. “I just don’t understand.”

“I…” He hesitated, staring at the ceiling. “I didn’t know Seth left me at the orphanage. I didn’t know that he interfered and kept me from being adopted. But I always knew I had blood relatives who were alive. And I knew since I was at the orphanage rather than with them, they didn’t want me.”

“Oh,” Elin mumbled, though she wasn’t sure how this was connected to his certainty he’d be a bad father.

Finn’s arm snaked around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him again. “When I found out I’m half-demon, I realized why that was. They were afraid of me. And the more I learn about demons, the more I know they were right to be worried.”

“I still don’t understand,” Elin whispered. “You’re a good man, Finn. Being half-demon doesn’t change that.”

“Maybe not. But maybe it does. We don’t know what it means to be half-demon,” Finn told her bleakly. “I don’t know if I’m always going to be me. Sometimes, when I’m fighting, I…lose myself. When I stop, I look and see how much damage I’d done without realizing I’d gone so hard. I don’t know how to stop it. I… I think it might be the demon side of me. That I have a demon, dormant, waiting for the opportunity to take my body. What if one day it emerges? If I have a mate and children, they’ll be the first the demon goes after.”

Finn closed his eyes as though he regretted saying the words out loud. Elin was quiet, shock rippling through her.

It never occurred to her that Finn might have such deep-seated fears. She’d thought that if such a thing were to happen, there would be more obvious warning signs. “Do you see a demonic presence around yourself when you look in the mirror?”

“Well… no,” Finn admitted.

“And other demons, do they know when they look at you? Or do they figure it out by other means?” she pressed.

“It seems that they can’t tell just by seeing me,” Finn said reluctantly.

Elin pressed a hand to his chest. “Then maybe there’s no demon, Finn. Maybe being half-demon doesn’t mean that you have any demonic part in you. Maybe it’s just genetic.”

Finn didn’t answer, not that she expected him to. They lay pressed against each other, and slowly, his breathing grew deep and even. Elin listened to his heartbeat, her mind full of thoughts as she slowly drifted off.

Elin wasn’t much for dreams, but she dreamt that night. She stood in a cemetery beside the familiar gravestone of her parents. An impossibly tiny baby was tucked into her eyes, staring up at her with blue eyes and a head of red hair. As Elinstared at the tiny thing, a surge of love and protectiveness swept through her.

A sound made her look up. Finn was nearby, staring at her and the baby with an expression she couldn’t read. Elin opened her mouth to call to him, but no sound came out.

---