Page 11 of Silent Desires

I hesitate, unsure if it’s really okay to join them. But as they sit and start eating without hesitation, my stomach rumbles from not eating in days. I cautiously reach out and pick up a fry. I know what these are, but I’ve never tried them before. Curiosity gets the best of me and I take a small bite, the salty, crispy flavor surprising me. My eyes widen, and I shove the rest of it into my mouth.

The next fry disappears just as quickly, and soon I’m eating faster and faster, my hunger taking over. It’s been so long since I’ve eaten anything, especially something this delicious. When I finish the fries, I pick up the burger and nibble a tiny piece, testing it. When the juicy flavor hits my tongue, I quickly devour the rest in huge bites, unable to stop myself.

When I finally come up for air, I notice the room has gone silent. My heart sinks as I realize all four of them are staring at me. My face burns with embarrassment, and I freeze.

Tucker’s grin breaks the tension. “Enjoyed that, did ya, Sugar? No harm in that,” he says, taking a huge bite of his own burger as if to show me everything’s fine.

The others follow his lead, resuming their meal, and I relax—until a sudden wave of nausea hits me. I leap up, clutching my mouth, my eyes darting around the room in desperation.

Jasper moves fast, shoving a garbage can in front of me just in time as I grab it and bend over, retching my lunch into it.

“That’s it, Angel, just let it out,” Jasper says gently. I realize he’s holding my hair back as I kneel on the floor, gripping the sides of the garbage can as my stomach clenches and turns in pain. The sudden movement also causes fresh pain through my arm.

As I struggle to breathe, someone gently starts rubbing my back and I peek over my shoulder to see Max’s worried eyes.

“I guess she ate too fast?” Jasper asks.

I glance up to see Mr. Hargrove and Tucker exchange worried glances, and catch a flicker of understanding in their eyes. I feel exposed, vulnerable, like they know something I don’t.

Max hands me a water bottle as I stand up, my stomach still churning. I take it gratefully, chugging the cool liquid. Jasper offers me a napkin, and I use it to wipe my mouth, embarrassed beyond belief.

“We need to get you something lighter to eat first. I’m going to go grab you some soup,” Jasper says, turning to leave. I quickly grab his arm and shake my head, placing my other hand on my stomach.

“Your stomach hurts, so you don’t want to eat anything right now?” he correctly guesses. I nod, letting go of his arm as I sink back into my seat.

“Alright, just sit there and relax, okay? We still have thirty minutes left before third period. What class does she have?” Jasper asks, turning to Mr. Hargrove.

“Art,” he answers quickly. Does he memorize all his students’ timetables? Or just the new ones?

“Hmm. Neither of us are in that class. Angel?” Jasper says, and I glance up at him. “Do you think you’ll be okay in that class by yourself, or would you rather stay here?”

I bite my lip, thinking it over. I still feel sick, but beyond that I still feel extremely weary of being in a classroom full of students. The only reason I had made it through them so far was because of the twins. Even then, I didn’t make it through science without needing to run. Looking at Jasper, I point to the ground.

“Okay, that’s fine. You have gym fourth period,” Mr. Hargrove tells me, before glancing at Tucker, who claps his hands together, startling me, then rubs them with exaggerated enthusiasm.

“Perfect! Then it’s my turn!” I stare at him, wide-eyed.His turn for what?“Ah, don’t worry, Sugar, I’m your gym teacher! I’ll take it easy on you,” he says with a wink. I glance around at the others, searching for an explanation.

Tucker laughs. “Really, though, it’ll be okay. You give me the old double tap if you need help, okay? If you aren’t standing by me, just double tap something so I can see, like your head,” he says, smiling at me.

My eyes dart to the twins. How does he know about the double tap?

“Mina?” Tucker calls my name, pulling my attention back to him. “You don’t have to go, you can stay here. But if you want, you could go to gym class and just watch for today. You’d be sitting on your own, awayfrom the others. Then maybe tomorrow you can join in, if you want, that is?”

I think about it for a minute. If I sit away from the other kids, I might be okay. As much as I’d like to stay in here all day, I have a feeling they will start to push me more if I don’t at least make an attempt to go to some of my classes. Besides, didn’t my mother tell Mr. Hargrove that I was here for socialization? I give him a small nod, hoping he’ll know what I’m agreeing to.

“Alright, you can sit on the bleachers during class. We’re outside today. Can y’all show her where to go? I’ll be setting up stuff for class,” Tucker, or Stone as he says students call him, tells me in his southern drawl. His voice is so interesting and sexy. Great, now I also have a crush on my teacher, too. I bet all the girls do with the way he looks and speaks. First it was Mr. Hargrove, then the twins, and now this guy. I know it’s inappropriate to have feelings for my teachers, but it’s not like I’m actually seventeen, like other seniors. Although I can’t help but wonder what age my mother told them I was. Did she lie to get me into high school? Would they let a twenty-one year old attend? I had a feeling they wouldn’t, so they must think I’m only seventeen.

The guys start talking about a baseball team as they finish eating and I glance down at my books. I really want to finish the chemistry book, but there is no way I can read in front of all four of them. Although I had a feeling I could trust them, I barely knew them and didn’t think it was worth it. So I pull the coloring book in front of me and start mindlessly coloring it, wondering if, now that I was at school, and away from my mother throughout the day, if I could come up with a plan to get away from her for good.

Movement has me looking up, as they all get to their feet. I’m surprised when they tell me that the next period starts in only five minutes.

“We all have to get going now, I’ll be back to take you to your next class, okay?” Mr. Hargrove asks, and I nod in response. As they leave, I expect to feel relief at being alone. It’s familiar and comfortable. But I don’t. It makes me even more anxious. That’s a new feeling. I never wanted to be around people before, then again, seeing the people I knew always meant pain and torment.

I grab the chemistry book to distract myself from dark thoughts and before long, I’ve finished and moved onto biology, and when I finish that one, I quietly grab a different chemistry book. About ten minutes before the end of class, I return all the books and pack my stuff up, waiting for Mr. Hargrove. Apparently, he doesn’t have any appointments last period, so he’s free to take me out to the field without being late for anything.

He steps in a minute later, smiling when he sees me. “Hi Love, are you doing okay?” I nod. There’s that nickname again, it must be a common way British men address women. “Did you read anything good?” I bite my lip and nod as I feel the blush rise in my cheeks. I’m not really sure why I’m blushing. Something about his attention on me causes it.

“Alright, let’s get you to gym class.” He motions for me to follow him, and we walk down the hall, side by side. Third period isn’t quite over yet, so the halls are still empty, and I’m grateful. As we step outside, I feel the breeze. It’s not as cold as it was this morning, but still a bit too cold for my thin blouse. “Where’s your jacket?” I shake my head. He frowns but doesn’t say anything else, instead he shows me to the bleachers that sit beside a large football field. “You can sit anywhere here.” He motions to the bleachers and I nod as I move toward them.

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